Category: Audio Clips

Luke: “All the best to you, Luke! Exclamation point”

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Luke: “And, Addie would sit there and she would go, ‘Why is it so hot in this car?’ And, I would say, ‘Because… I had you too young… Sorry, bud'”

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Luke: “Bama-lama-ding-dong or something”

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Luke: “Boy, I’m really, I’m… I’m leaning heavily into the air quotes today”

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Luke: “He kept mashing”

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Luke: “Here we go, here we do, everybody!”

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Luke: “Hey, world!!!”

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Luke: “Hollyweird!”

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Luke: “Holy shit! You can buy a coconut on… like, off the highway?”

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Luke: “I… drink your white brine!!”

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Luke: “I’m a man of few words, Andrew; but, most of them are about hating on Cheech and Chong”

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Luke: “I’m cured!”

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Luke: “I’m gonna swipe left on you”

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Luke: “Light on the crippling depression, please!”

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Luke: “Our lives… are so similar to the show; in that, we just talk… and, sometimes we’re recording and sometimes we’re not… that I can never remember… when… when things happen on-air, as it were, and off-air”

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Luke: Singing “We’ve got bread… and beef jerky!”

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Luke: Singing some doo-wop style vocals

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Luke: “That is really news you can use”

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Luke: “These people are doing God’s work, dude”

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Luke: “We’ve seen your brand of crazy; and, we’re gonna find somebody who specializes in that”

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Luke: “What did we all… look at with our eyeballs for that hour? I don’t even know”

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Luke: “Yeah, you’re trying to find something that doesn’t exist there”

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Luke and Andrew: “And, then… he did more of the Monster Mash. Right!”

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Luke and Andrew: “C&C Convenience Factory? Yes”

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Luke and Andrew: Having a conversation in the manner that The Trashmen sing “Surfing Bird”

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Luke and Andrew: “I’m the Count… but, I was never just like… Please… Mr. Von Count is my father. I knew you were gonna say that. Call me The Count”

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Andrew: “Boy! That was a boring story!”

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Andrew: “Eff you!”

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Andrew: “I am Yoda”

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Andrew: “I argue with your goldfish!”

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Andrew: “I had every piece of technology go down on me”

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Andrew: “I had every piece of technology go down on me… Oh my God. Phrasing”

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Andrew: “I hate my performance”

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Andrew: “I, and, also gonna… promote something weird; because, it’s a… a weird thing to promote”

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Andrew: “I’m gonna make you… popsicle? I don’t know. Shit! I should’ve just kept my mouth shut”

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Andrew: “Is he my favorite? Is Oscar the Gout–Grouch my favorite… Oscar the Gout is not my favorite… Oscar the Grouch… might be my favorite muppet, I think”

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Andrew: “Is this what we’re doing here? Are we jumping right into that?”

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Andrew: Laughing and saying “Oh my God! Hit Top Stories! Hit Top Stories!!”

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Andrew: “Oh my God. Phrasing”

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Andrew: “Oh, no, dude. I’m not gay!”

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Andrew: Saying “I’ll take a burger and some fries on the side” as The Trashmen

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Andrew: “She’s my… pardner [ph]“

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Andrew: Singing “Weeee-eeee-eeee”

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Andrew: “Son of a… gun!”

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Andrew: “The bird is the word. The bird, bird, bird, the bird is the word”

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Andrew: “We’re both whinging at the same time over, ‘My Hindu friend’, and we’re both wondering if should just bump in with something else?”

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Andrew: “Well, if you just wanted the ‘Uh-oh’ part, Linh Pham has ya… has ya got you covered on… on that. He digitized all these sounds; but, somebody… I thought they wanted the version with the kid”

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Andrew: “What I’ve done is, I’ve stopped caring about other people’s feelings. And, I find it to be really freeing”

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Andrew: “You know what I just learned?”

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Andrew: “You wanna know what true love is; and, and, and proof that I love my girlfriend?”

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Andrew and Luke: Laughing

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Andrew: “But, I don’t know. That idea of just, kind of, like, ‘We’re in New York and we really know what bagels are! And… you’re disrespecting the bagel… Apple company! So, now you gotta change it! And… thank God the world was right. And… oh, look, you don’t put ketchup on a hot dog!’ Yeah, I’m gonna bring that up. Like, it just all seems so stupid to me”

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Andrew: “Can I set your… brain at ease, and your heart at ease, and your soul at ease”

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Andrew: “Damnit! Well… then, I ruined the beginning of this show”

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Andrew: “Dave’s not here, man”

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Andrew: “For a second, I thought I was going to Crazy Town”

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Andrew: Goofy laugh

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Andrew: “I always add a syllable”

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Andrew: “I don’t know! My brain is… bad now. I can’t think of anything”

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Andrew: “I wanna go outside. I wanna go outside. I wanna go outside!”

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Andrew: “I… I kinda hate this”

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Andrew: “I’m not big on rodents”

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Andrew: “Just one more time, for the record”

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Andrew: “Like, it just all seems so stupid to me”

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Andrew: “Oh. Yeah. No”

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Andrew: “Say my name, again. Please”

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Andrew: Saying “I just hate the story” in a sing-songy manner

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Andrew: “Small change got rained on with his own thirty-eight”

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Andrew: “That’s how you comedy”

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Andrew: “This is gonna be really boring”

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Andrew: “Turns out, I’m just… I’m just… I’m not special at all. I’m not unique… I’m just like everybody else”

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Andrew: “We’re in New York and we really know what bagels are! And… you’re disrespecting the bagel… Apple company! So, now you gotta change it! And… thank God the world was right. And… oh, look, you don’t put ketchup on a hot dog!”

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Andrew: “Were you high, man?”

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Andrew and Luke: “Dave’s not here” but with emojis, bagel emojis and clownface with cowboy hat emoji

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Andrew and Luke: “Man, am I stoned? And, their friend will be like, ‘Dave’s not here, man!’ No comment, officer!”

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Andrew and Luke: “Wait… did you just say you don’t think we’re funny? That would include me… Hold on… Let me ask Dave… Dave… is Andrew funny? Fuck. He just left… That’s how you do a ‘Dave’s not here’ joke!!”

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Andrew and Luke: “Welcome, new listeners… And, goodbye”

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Luke: “At Brau-pub… at Brow-beat Brew-pub”

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Luke: “Awww! Thanks, boss!”

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Luke: “Brau-haus brew…prub [ph]“

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Luke: “Go eat a… beg-gul! [ph] Fine, make fun of me. Whatever… People… sick! Sick!”

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Luke: “How fucking tired of joking about weed are these eighty year old fucking men!?”

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Luke: “I don’t know the whole story… cuz, I’m a journalist… so, let me just fire from the hip”

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Luke: “I refuse to be show sheet-shamed anymore”

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Luke: “I’m a man of a certain age. I’m a man of few movies… but, one of those movies will be ‘Pulp Fiction’… and, they will count”

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Luke: “Let’s get into the stoner car and drive down Stoner Street… on our way to Stonerville”

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Luke: “Oof”

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Luke: “Refresh! Refresh, news feed!”

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Luke: Singing “Brad was there” to the “El Ropo” song

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Luke: “Sorry if I sound distracted”

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Luke: “Steve Nelson!? El Ropo!?”

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Luke: What the hell!?”

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Luke and Andrew: Bagel pronunciation talk

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Luke and Andrew: “Don’t get cocky, Brew-pub Bow-Wow… Lil… I believe it’s Lil Bow-Wow Brew-pub… Lil Brow… Lil Brau-lau?”

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Luke and Andrew: “Wait… just a cotton-pickin’… darn-tootin’… Is that… like… our… (That’s gotta be) our actual direct supervisor?”

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Andrew: “Are you seeing what I’m seeing?”

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Andrew: “At the end of the day, I am… scooter-less in Seattle”

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Andrew: “Brewhau Hau’d-naus [ph]“

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Andrew: “But, I do think I had… early-onset old-man…ness”

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Andrew: “Hey, Andrew. Where’s your physical bell?”

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Andrew: “I am happy to be home!”

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Andrew: “I don’t really power through. I’m kind of a whiner”

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Andrew: “Is there a chance that somebody jacked our scooter?”

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Andrew: “Scooter-less in Seattle”

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Andrew: “That’s BS”

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Andrew: “Uh. Okay”

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Andrew: “Was it this bad thing; or, what it the other bad thing? And, it turned out, it was both bad things”

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Andrew and Luke: “Brew… at Brewhaus… Baus. (Yes) I think it’s called ‘Brewhaus Baus’… It’s Brewbaus. Brewbaus”

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Andrew and Luke: “Don’t pull a Marta. Don’t pull a Marta! (Don’t)”

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Andrew and Luke: “Hey, listen! If we had better memories… we’d have less content! That’s how I look at it… And, more listeners. Yeah”

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Andrew and Luke: “I got my bell back… Can you hear that? (Oh, yeah) I got my physical bell there. Call it my physical bell… just to make everybody feel uncomfortable… Hey, Andrew. Where’s your physical bell?”

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Andrew and Luke: “I mean, I got tetanus just looking at this lot. (Yes) It’s just like, it’s nothing (Yes) but just barbed everything, everywhere”

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Luke: “And, I went… scooting all over tarnation”

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Luke: “At Brewbob’s Bauhaus… At Baubob’s Brewhaus”

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Luke: “Baubrau Booey”

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Luke: “Brewhaus… Baupub”

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Luke: “He’s straight… gas… homie”

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Luke: “I’m too embarrassed to face… another human being”

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Luke: “Rudy… do you remember any part of how we do this? It’s been a long time, right?”

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Luke: “Suck City, USA”

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Luke: “That’s close enough for me”

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Luke: “That’s… coming from the back of a very foggy brain”

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Luke and Andrew: “Brewhaus Baulabs (Mmm-hmm)”

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Luke and Andrew: “Coastal, liberal, Honda elites… (I know)”

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Luke and Andrew: “I have been to that very impound lot. I figured you had”

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