Category: Audio Clips

Andrew: “Because, objects at rest tend to stay at rest; especially… when those objects have to pay first and last month and a security deposit, and a moving company; and, everything that goes along… with the pain in the ass of moving”

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Andrew: “But, is he okay with being doxxed!?”

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Andrew: “By the way, I’ve probably never said it; but, congratulations on… you know… for getting out of that… one”

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Andrew: “Does it involve your dad bootlegging this for you?”

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Andrew: “Hey, leave my cat outta this!”

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Andrew: “How about this, then? How about, how about I lay another hot take on ya?”

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Andrew: “I dunno why I’m talking so much”

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Andrew: “I have no compunctions… about outing her on that. It is insane to me”

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Andrew: “Just Slack at me”

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Andrew: Laughing

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Andrew: “Lemme ask you this”

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Andrew: “Mucho bucks-o”

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Andrew: “My soul rejects it”

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Andrew: “Ohhh!!”

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Andrew: “Really!?”

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Andrew: Saying “Tobe Cutter!” in a funny manner

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Andrew: Saying a string of “Yeah”s

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Andrew: “That was coming from my toilet… and, not from the clean side of the toilet!”

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Andrew: Whispering “I did ‘Hey Dummies’ in the bathroom this week!”

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Andrew: “Witness me!!”

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Andrew: “Woife!!!”

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Andrew: “You just don’t get it, man!”

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Andrew and Luke: “Hey! Wow! So… this is how it happens, huh? I am your co-bro, for now! You’re coming to us from Wallingford, for now!”

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Andrew and Luke: Just beeping away

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Andrew and Luke: “Who knows, man. Spin the wheel… (Man!) Who knows where we’ll end up”

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Andrew and Luke: “You don’t donate until Shaun T tells you to… Your bank account is a board”

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Luke: “A-ha!”

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Luke: “And, to be honest with you and not to… make this gross”

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Luke: “Decline to Recline”

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Luke: “He’s Andrew Walsh; and, he joins us now from the Wallingford neighborhood… of Seattle, Washington… for now!”

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Luke: “I know that’s in… probably Return of the Jedi; but, just go with me people! Stop riding me!”

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Luke: “I’m from Seattle!”

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Luke: Laughing

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Luke: “Oh, Snooki!”

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Luke: “Oh, yes, yes, yes”

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Luke: “Peace!!”

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Luke: Saying “The new Dodge Dakota… All the torque you’ll need… and still get you home in style” in a manner of a truck commercial voice-over

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Luke: “Sí, señor”

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Luke: Singing “Tobe Cutter”

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Luke: “The world is your oyster!”

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Luke and Andrew: “I have a bottle of Coke Zero here on the desk… no lid. Where’s the lid!? (I lied)”

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Luke and Andrew: “Is that, is that black ice? Is, is that (Yeah!) black ice? (Yup!) Is that black ice!?”

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Luke and Andrew: “More on that, by the way, in a moment. Had a little toilet clog here at the old Parker Méridien… (Oh, no!) Never a good time… for the… (No) for anybody… to be honest with you, for the clogger… or the… unclogger… (Oh, no) I would be the clogger”

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Luke and Andrew: “There’s (Yeah) an ‘R’ in there, somewhere! (I know!) Who took the ‘R’!?”

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Luke and Andrew: “We call him, ‘Toe Cutter’… We call him, ‘Tobe Cutter'”

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Luke and Andrew: “Well, you do some of your best work in the bathroom; and, I don’t mean… (Mmm-hmm) going number two”

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Andrew: “And then, here’s the one to, kinda, bring up the nose on the negativity train again”

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Andrew: “But, just like, getting rid of the constant… the constant, ‘Look at me! Look at me! Look at me! Look at me!’ as been just so, I mean, it’s just so freeing”

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Andrew: Coughing

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Andrew: “Have you met me?”

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Andrew: “I hear nothing… I hear nothing but your tales… of shoe-ventures”

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Andrew: “I th–think you have the completely wrong takeaway here… We got a new listener because people booed you”

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Andrew: “I think I’m really taking this to Tedium Town”

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Andrew: Laughing

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Andrew: “Look at me! Look at me! Look at me! Look at me!”

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Andrew: “Ohhh!!”

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Andrew: “Ping, ping, ping, ping, ping”

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Andrew: Saying “‘Ello, Mrs. Torrance” as Tony from The Shining

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Andrew: “Shove the boos where the… sun don’t shine… ya jerks!”

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Andrew: Snorting

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Andrew: “Thinking about calling people ‘bozo’ more”

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Andrew: “This would all just be… water off my back like a duck. That’s not the expression. I am really… boy… that’s my new thing: destroying expressions”

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Andrew: “Watch that first step. It’s a doozy”

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Andrew: “Welcome to the show, new sponsor, The Shoe Parlor”

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Andrew: “Welcome to the world of us berating listeners”

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Andrew: “You’re booing because I’m a ghost! That’s good. There! I just solved the problem. That doesn’t even make any sense”

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Andrew and Luke: “And, I gotta give it to… über-listener Linh Pham for having the best spoof. He tweeted at Chris Hayes last night and said… ‘Are you sure you were singing that; or, just playing the file down the line?’ Which is a… (The same thought I was having…) very… very good question. Exact thought I was having… Linh and I… always on the same page. Great minds, thinking alike.”

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Andrew and Luke: “Did you say, ‘steamed lambs’? And, we have our first… albeit, somewhat upsetting, show title”

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Andrew and Luke: “Hey, how’s your podcast!? Exactly”

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Andrew and Luke: “That’s a power out, man! Hell, yeah”

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Luke: “Agh! I did it again!”

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Luke: “And, ol’ Needlenose Burbank”

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Luke: “Give me a three-oh-five and ten! Three-oh-five and ten!”

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Luke: “I can’t function in this city… for the next two days in these shoes”

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Luke: “I eat stickers… every day”

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Luke: “Luuuuuuke!”

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Luke: “My name is Luke Burbank. I’m your host; coming to you today… from New York Jersey! (New York City!?)”

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Luke: Saying “It’s… it’s no joke!” in a Pennsylvania or Philly accent

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Luke: Singing “Welcome to my shoe parlor”

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Luke: “Somewhere upstairs… there’s a poor… summabitch… Sorry, McCoy”

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Luke: “That sounds promising”

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Luke: “That’s a Utica thing… I think”

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Luke: “Who are you to tell me what to do!?”

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Luke and Andrew: “And, I’ve been trying to, like… kind of, carefully pack and not over-pack; because, there just wasn’t a lotta room… Yeah, if you bring too pairs of shoes, you can only bring four electric toothbrushes… Shout out to sponsor, Quip!”

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Luke and Andrew: “I, I consider myself a Maxxinista. Mmh”

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Luke and Andrew: “Mairzy doats and dozy doats and liddle lamzy divey. A kiddley divey too, will you?”

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Luke and Andrew: “Out of context… happiness… Out of context… jockularity… Out of context… invites to come play with us, Danny. Ha!”

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Luke and Andrew: “You did Donors of the Day yesterday, right? Yeah. You know, I was about say, now did I mark them on the spreadshee though”

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Andrew: “Genevieve calls it my ‘fun bag'”

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Andrew: “Goddamnit!”

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Andrew: “I’m not… fucking snuggling with these people; excuse my language”

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Andrew: “Maria, calm down!”

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Andrew: “Nope. Don’t care”

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Andrew: “Poo-poo on you-you”

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Andrew: “Really!?”

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Andrew: “Stop pinching my lifestyle, Luke!”

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Andrew: “This society is all phony, baloney”

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Andrew and Luke: “God darn matinee! It was twelve dollars and fifty cents. A matinee is now twelve bucks?”

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Andrew and Luke: Whispering “Yeah, what’s up? Well, when I… got here, to your neighborhood”

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Luke: “A Saab driven by an S.O.B… The irony… the irony, my friend”

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Luke: “But then, it gets, it gets real Armenian, real fast!”

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Luke: “Coming to you from the Burbank–wait… not the Burbank Springs Broadcast Center… the offices of Walsh, Walsh & Doormat in the Wallingford neighborhood… of Seattle, Washington!”

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Luke: “I am so, so sorry that I don’t know my, I don’t know my Gabes from my Gabs!”

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Luke: “I have got a cloud to go yell at”

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Luke: “Is it too early to get a perch sandwich?”

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Luke: “It’s a mop-top with a secret”

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Luke: “It’s a real combo platter”

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Luke: “It’s apropos of something”

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Luke: “No way!”

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Luke: “Oh my God, dude. This so takes me back!!!”

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Luke: Saying “Detroit” in a faux French manner

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Luke: “They’re twins; that’s gross”

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Luke: “What!!?”

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Luke: “Which was… quite something to behold and behear”

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Luke: “You are just getting… completely pwned by the… you and, and Genevieve, as a family unit… are getting pwned by the traffic of this town”

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Luke: “You… quite literally… almost… can’t get there from here”

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Luke and Andrew: “How I Met Your Mother. How I Met Your Sheriff”

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Luke and Andrew: “I mean, what the heck… It’s a Monday morning. Yeah… It’s a Monday afternoon!”

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Luke and Andrew: Laughing

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Luke and Andrew: “My mom… particularly, you know, in her 30s and 40s, despite having eight children… My mom was like… She ate children!? Yes! How… What!?!”

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Luke and Andrew: “That is not cool. No, it’s very uncool! Yeah. But, you know what, though? I am over it… cuz, I’m, I’m different Andrew now”

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Andrew: “Ahh, that’ll show him”

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Andrew: “And, it was on Christmas, man! It was on Christmas!”

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Andrew: “And, this was before I was known as, you know, Parking Warrior Andrew”

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Andrew: “Are you outta gas yet?”

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Andrew: “Aw, shit”

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Andrew: “Big mood!”

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Andrew: “But, again, I’m an old, I’m an old white guy; don’t ask me stuff like this”

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Andrew: “Genevieve did not like… That was not… that was not… I should’ve just…”

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Andrew: Having a good laugh

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Andrew: “He’s the one that makes you feel so-so”

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Andrew: “Hey, nice compact car!”

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Andrew: “Holy macaroons!”

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Andrew: “Honk! I’ll show you! Hooooonk!”

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Andrew: “Hooooonk!”

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Andrew: “I almost called the… the gas police on myself”

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Andrew: “I don’t… Mmm… I don’t wanna get weird right off… the top of the show… I don’t wanna set a… the wrong tone… but, you’re intro was incredibly appropriate for me today”

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Andrew: “I, I don’t know”

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Andrew: “I’m like a, I’m like a cow. I have two stomachs and two skulls”

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Andrew: Laughing

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Andrew: “Logan Paul is a dumbass!”

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Andrew: “Logan Paul is a dumbass! He’s the YouTube jerk face. Right, right, right”

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Andrew: “Logan Paul is such a dumbass!”

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Andrew: “Nice electric car, asshole!”

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Andrew: “Now, I sound like a… jerk”

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Andrew: “So, I hoped you learned your lesson, Jami! Thanks a lot!”

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Andrew: “That’s when, like, the traffic monster… you know… raises his ugly head”

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Andrew: “They call me, Dr. Nuance”

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Andrew: “Your SUV is not a compact car, butthead”

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Andrew and Luke: Andrew clip-clopping and Luke making an excited sound and neighing

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Andrew and Luke: Andrew clip-clopping and Luke saying “And just like that… he rode off into the night”

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Andrew and Luke: “You can’t always get what you want… stupid. Ha!”

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Andrew and Luke: “You know, I fantasize about that sometimes; but, then, even in my fantasies… I always come back around to being like, ‘No, that’s a bad idea.’ Not, not… the, not the you aspect of it… but… Oh yeah, the me aspect of it”

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Luke: “Because, there… there were storms, my friends. There were storms on the east coast that was messing everything up”

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Luke: “Dinking around”

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Luke: “Don’t do it… Luke’s brain… Don’t… convince him to… talk more about… multi-sport athlete Russell Wilson”

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Luke: “Don’t, nobody get mad at me, okay?”

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Luke: “Get out of my life! What are you, me!?”

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Luke: “I’ll give that a medium mood”

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Luke: “No way, José”

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Luke: “Oh, really!?”

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Luke: Singing “He’s the one they call Dr. Nuance! He’s the one that makes you feel so-so!”

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Luke: “The donors are coming! The donors are coming!”

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Luke: “This is why we can’t have nice contests”

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Luke: “What!?!”

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Luke and Andrew: “They said, ‘Yasss!’ No, they didn’t… They probably don’t say, ‘Yas'”

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