Category: Audio Clips

Audio Clips

Clips From TBTL #2377

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Andrew: “And then, at the very end of your dream, right before you wake up, you see a man in a laser baldness helmet”

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Andrew: “And, bing!”

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Andrew: “Honestly, I don’t remember anything before ass over tea kettle”

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Andrew: “I think there is something so inherently… unsexy about the image. Again, like, this is the woman who’s with me. Like, she knows from unsexy, but I think…”

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Andrew: “I wanna try it!”

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Andrew: “I’m worried that I’m gonna be taking all the fun out of this trip. I’m promising you, on this road trip, I’m gonna try to be as fun as possible.”

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Andrew: “It’s just… mudslides… There’s just mudslides all over the place.”

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Andrew: Laughing

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Andrew: “Ooooh, yeah!”

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Andrew: Quietly saying “Fireball”

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Andrew: Saying “Oh, God!” away from the microphone

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Andrew: “Sir, is that a Nash? Get out of our store with a Nash, ya poser!”

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Andrew: “Skate or die!”

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Andrew: “They sent you a message with their faces and you heard that message, and saw that message; and now, you’ll internalize it and know that they’re not playing that game.”

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Andrew: “To the extreme!!”

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Andrew: “Ummm”

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Andrew and Luke: Andrew wishing a broken wrist for Luke

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Andrew and Luke: “Catch you on the flip side, dude-meisters… (Whoa!) Not!!! Easy poochie… easy.”

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Andrew and Luke: “In the tears of slaves. Yeah, exactly!”

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Andrew and Luke: “Luke, it’s seven minutes, I stumbled over a word. Can you clean it up for me? Probably not. It’s just at seven minutes, dude, it will be really easy.”

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Andrew and Luke: Ran out of Dazzling Donor music trying to pronounce “Guglielmo”

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Luke: “Dinner time!!”

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Luke: Drawn out and deflated “I know”

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Luke: “I don’t know why I’m taking this to… Hurtful Town”

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Luke: “I think it’s possible that rollerblading is the unicycle of roller skating.”

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Luke: “I’m gonna head down… to the skateboard shop… like a young… and… get a skateboard… and probably kill myself within two hours of trying to ride on it”

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Luke: Laughing

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Luke: Laughing like Muttley

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Luke: “Oof”

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Luke: Saying “We’re being crazy!” in a high-pitched voice

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Luke: Singing “We wish you a broken wrist-a, we wish you a broken wrist”

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Luke: Snorting

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Luke: Spit Take

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Luke: “Throw that log on the fire! It’s also, your circadian rhythms are jacked!!”

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Luke: “Ugh!!! Dad! I’m skating!”

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Luke and Andrew: Rollerblading, SoCo and Sparking the Fires of Love

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Luke and Andrew: “So basically, if you see me in a bar and you’re drinking hundred proof… Southern Comfort, you’re my hero. And, if you’re only damaging your body to the tune of forty-two percent alcohol, I don’t have time for you. Get busy drinking it… get busy… dying. I don’t know.”

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Audio Clips

Clips From TBTL #2376

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Andrew: “Case cloched” (nb: This clip was edited to remove an utterance made by Luke between the two words. Sorry, Luke.)

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Andrew: “God, we go to Arizona a lot, don’t we?”

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Andrew: “Hi, I’m Andrew. I’m here because I illegally dumped a chair and it was, it was on my conscience”

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Andrew: “I know!!”

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Andrew: “I read a headline. That’s… that’s the end of my research.”

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Andrew: “I used to go to the dump all the time when I first moved here”

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Andrew: “If it stays with me, then it’s probably inside me”

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Andrew: “It didn’t occur to me that I could be in a middle of like… pitch producing; and then, suddenly, an alien pops out of my belly”

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Andrew: “Let’s just put it this way, I got a lot of questions and a lot of opinions. So, buckle up for that tomorrow, Lukles.”

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Andrew: “Like peanut butter and… motor oil”

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Andrew: “My jobs have been really weird and un-Andrew like”

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Andrew: “Oh, good”

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Andrew: Tapping a pen on his clipboard

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Andrew: “That sounds like some… Bellingham… backwoods beauty…”

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Andrew: “There’s something about the soul of a ball bearing. There’s something about the, the lubrication of the ball bearing that just makes it just seem like something out of this world.”

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Andrew: “Timer be damned”

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Andrew and Luke: Aridzona

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Andrew and Luke: Grandalf the Great

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Andrew and Luke: Luke sighs when Andrew brings up hosting TBTL with Barbara Bogaev again

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Andrew and Luke: Trying to spell “Albuquerque”

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Andrew and Luke: “Wow, this went south quickly, didn’t it? Yeah.”

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Luke: “But, the other thing is, you know, they have in St. Paul. So, you could go to St. Paul, you could still feel… you know… night time sniffling, sneezy, achy head, fever… coughing, so you can rest medicine”

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Luke: “First of all, let me just say, ‘Rock Jock Jayhawk'”

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Luke: “How dare you… I medicate it with a special, generic medicine that’s slowly turning me into a lady”

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Luke: “Humdinger”

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Luke: “Is there anything better than going to the dump?”

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Luke: “Let’s not get bogged down in that”

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Luke: “Roll up in the club like, ‘Oooh, can I be here?'”

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Luke: Snorting

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Luke: “That’s all you’s do… is spin a fidget spinner. Do ya know about these things?”

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Luke: “This just… takes me back… so hard… to… 1998 or something”

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Luke: “Well, shit”

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Luke: “What happened to you at Cub Scout camp?”

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Luke: “Yarrrrr Bar”

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Luke and Andrew: Clipboard wielding Andrew is stern

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Luke and Andrew: Taking it to the dump

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Audio Clips

Clips From TBTL #2375

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Andrew: “Bose 2..4499 or whatever”

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Andrew: “By the way, just brace yourself. These are gon–this is gonna be some of the, some of the worst words you’ve heard”

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Andrew: “I feel like your talents are wasted”

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Andrew: Laughing

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Andrew: “Na-na-nah”

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Andrew: “PDQ-ZZ119”

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Andrew: “Right!!?”

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Andrew: Singing “Take my breath away”

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Andrew: “The reason why I brought up the jazzy Johnny Cash is that’s one of the selling points; which, is the stupidest, fucking selling point in the world, if you’ll excuse my language.”

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Andrew: “Well, you had that other joke, Andrew. Remember that joke you said, Andrew?”

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Andrew: “When Harry Met Swaggy”

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Andrew: “Yes!!!”

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Andrew: “You could have your Blackberry talk to somebody else’s Blackberry… You just need to make them kiss and you trade information”

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Andrew: “You have a friend in the Bluetooth business!”

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Andrew and Luke: “Boy, it’s great how my brain just erases itself after every three weeks! (Yeah)”

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Andrew and Luke: Forty-one, going on a run, done and done

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Andrew and Luke: “You wanna take five minutes and have a very satisfying experience? Yeah!”

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Luke: “First, we have to say hello to this young man. He is the Grimli of podcasting. He’s the longest running battle troll on this show.”

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Luke: “I’m just enough of a dingus”

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Luke: Laughing

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Luke: “Let ‘er rip, boys”

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Luke: “Lots of other… deets that will dazzle… and the like”

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Luke: “Nobody has more hot takes than my mom! Okay?”

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Luke: “Now, you’re forty-wonderful!”

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Luke: “Plugola? Payola? You name it, I’m into it.”

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Luke: Singing part of “The Jock Jam”

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Luke: “This is really anti-Burbank-Kirk”

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Luke: “This man hates cans!”

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Luke: “You are bro-ing me back to death, and I’m already bro’d”

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Luke: “You’ve Got Swag!”

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Luke and Andrew: “Anyway… long, long, long winded point. No, you still have, you still have thirty seconds.”

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Luke and Andrew: Daytime Investigator Award

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Luke and Andrew: In-vehicle Bluetooth situation and a shout out

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Luke and Andrew: Luke telling a bicyclist joke and Andrew having a good laugh

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Luke and Andrew: “Oh God, Luke, stop… (Keep digging) what you’re doing, cuz you’re about to ruin… the image and the style of this podcast”

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Susie Burbank: Singing “For he’s a jolly good fellow, for he’s a jolly good fellow”

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???: Giggling and Snorting

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Audio Clips

Clips From TBTL #2374

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Andrew: “Every time we say ‘Shagadelic’ in today’s show, we get a point individually. The person with the most points loses.”

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Andrew: “God… damn it!”

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Andrew: “Hey listen, I’m not, I’m not eye-rolling anybody, people can do what they want.”

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Andrew: “Hey, Shlub Bud!”

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Andrew: “I, I think it’s more like: New Luke just bottles these feelings up until he’s alone in a rolling vehicle with Andrew; and then, all those emotions come out.”

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Andrew: Laughing

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Andrew: Laughing #2

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Andrew: “No! You made an Italian BMT, you were supposed to make a Spicy Italian!”

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Andrew: “Oh, no, no, no! You’re gonna go full Pesci. Ohh…”

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Andrew: “Oh, really”

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Andrew: “You could put blood on the door or just write ‘Fart’ on the window”

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Andrew and Luke: Andrew trying to do the K-Stass scat with Luke jumping in

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Andrew and Luke: Andrew wants a Shlub Bud and that makes Luke want to reconsider being in an RV with Andrew

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Andrew and Luke: “Oh, okay, now I get it! (Yeah)”

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Andrew and Luke: Saying “Very nice! Very nice!” as Borat

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Andrew and Luke: “When are we gonna do our 24-hour TBTL… podcast? Oh my God! How, that was… That was a real idea. That was a real idea that I actually really liked; and then, we just… forgot about that.”

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Luke: “Andrew!! I wanted to be sitting… in this one specific spot at this one time!!”

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Luke: “As if I needed another way to donk off money while at the race track”

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Luke: “Happy Cinco de Mayo”

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Luke: “He bought a, a Battle Troll, but it doesn’t mean he think he’s better than anyone else”

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Luke: “I call myself the Unicorn Maker!”

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Luke: “I don’t want anyone touching my uvula, though”

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Luke: “I’m gonna have to let go and let ADubs sometimes on this trip”

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Luke: Laughing

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Luke: “She was in a total zoot suit, by the way. It was a borderline Zoot Suit Riot last night.”

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Luke: “Shit is getting realer by the, by the day”

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Luke: Singing “I wish you would step back from that ledge, my friend”

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Luke: Singing “Late last night, when we were all in bed, Mrs. O’Leary put a lantern in the shed; and, when Madame Bovary kicked it over, she turned her eye and said, ‘There’ll be a hot time on the old town tonight.'”

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Luke: “Too much junk in my trunk”

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Luke: “What I’ve gone with is… no belt”

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Luke and Andrew: “A zoot suit laugh riot! Hey-oh! Except, when I was joking, it was a zoot suit quiet. Riot.”

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Luke and Andrew: “Excuse me sirs, I’d just like to put some food coloring in these children’s drinks. Nothing to see here. Hello, do you need any help… with your kid’s party later?”

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Luke and Andrew: Fleekwood Mac

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Luke and Andrew: “Timmy… you’re gonna learn how to be a Sandwich Artist. Yeah, right. My whole family, you guys are gonna become, you guys are gonna work at the Subway. No! You made an Italian BMT, you were supposed to make a Spicy Italian! Nobody knows the difference.”

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Luke and Andrew: Wouldja, Couldja, Didja, Why’dja and Why Wouldn’tja

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Luke and Andrew: “Yo, yo, yo. Yo, yo, yo!”

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Paula Poundstone: “Roxanne kicked my ass!”

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Audio Clips

Clips From TBTL #2373

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Andrew: “Apropos of literally… nothing”

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Andrew: “Aww, goddamn it!”

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Andrew: Bro Rules, or Brules

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Andrew: “Can I just totally out your brother Dave?”

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Andrew: Chopped and Screwed “Gimme Pizza”

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Andrew: “God, I miss the 80s!”

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Andrew: “Ha!”

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Andrew: Having a good laugh

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Andrew: Having a really good laugh

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Andrew: “Hey… I like that!”

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Andrew: “Holy shit!!”

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Andrew: “I believe… that KFC chicken exists. I just don’t believe that it’s man-made.”

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Andrew: “I could be wrong about that”

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Andrew: “I know you hate this shit!”

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Andrew: “I love this e-mail from Gary, I hate this e-mail from Gary; but, I love this e-mail from Gary.”

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Andrew: “I see. I don’t feel bad for not knowing that.”

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Andrew: Laughing

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Andrew: Laughing #2

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Andrew: Laughing #3

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Andrew: Laughing #4

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Andrew: Laughing and saying “It is. It’s just classic.”

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Andrew: “Lou-eh, Lou-eh [ph]“

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Andrew: “Oh, goddamn it!”

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Andrew: “Oh, what am I doing to this show?”

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Andrew: Snorting

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Andrew: “Stop the show!!”

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Andrew: “Thou! Shall! Pass later! Maybe. Shout out to the Burbank clan enjoying today’s episode of TBTL.”

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Andrew: “You have a cat, right? That’s like Putin.”

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Andrew: “You’re fucking up all… I’m just trying in bad words now”

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Andrew and Luke: “And, it’s actually from our friend Sky. You mentioned Sky on the show… The Sky Pilot!!? What’s that? The Sky Pilot. That’s, that’s what we used to always call him in Seattle (Oh, okay)”

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Andrew and Luke: Andrew doesn’t want to be The Groz

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Andrew and Luke: Andrew laughing and Luke saying “I’ll have to power through that part of the conversation”

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Andrew and Luke: “Arby’s… (God, I do a good Ving Rhames) Don’t dump your poo here! (That was with) Arby’s… We have some rules!”

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Andrew and Luke: Cole Slaw and AP Style Guide Joke

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Andrew and Luke: “Shari’s Berries, these are known as the dessert that got Luke off his grind. They’re the Grind Buster!”

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Andrew and Luke: “That was gross (Sure)”

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Luke: “Arby’s… We have the electricity”

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Luke: Funny Sound

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Luke: “Haven’t we had enough of my bullshit… at this point?”

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Luke: “Ho!!”

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Luke: Laughing

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Luke: “North of warm, south of scalding pocket”

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Luke: Snickering

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Luke: “The Sky Pilot!!!”

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Luke: “This, this rockabilly dude escaped my radar”

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Luke: “Ya, sure. You betcha.”

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Luke: “Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah”

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Luke and Andrew: “‘A little more than a year ago, we moved from Everett, Washington to China, Maine’ Hold on a second. (There’s a China) Stop the show!! There’s a China, Maine!? I’m pretty sure that’s where the country is… what the country is named after. I could be wrong about that.”

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Luke and Andrew: “Oh, Andrew. Oh, Luke!”

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Luke and Andrew: “Ruby says the way you pronunciate. Pronunciate!? [sic] That’s an ironic word to mess up the pronunciation on (Yep)”

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Luke and Andrew: “So anyway, in summary… cats, pretty nice. I guess. I think it’s kind of a bullshit study.”

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Audio Clips

Clips From TBTL #2372

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Steve “Stu-bot” Neuman left a chopped and screwed message for the TBTL Voicemail Line.

Steve Neuman: Voicemail Message

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Andrew: “Back off, Tim!”

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Andrew: “Boo-urns”

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Andrew: “Boooooog!”

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Andrew: “Burro Rey [sic]“

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Andrew: Chopped and Screwed “Gimme brisket”

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Andrew: “I dunno how to talk photo talk”

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Andrew: Laughing

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Andrew: Laughing #2

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Andrew: “Oh my God, thirty of those things!”

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Andrew: “Oh, farts are funny!”

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Andrew: Singing “One mink, one skunk one possum”

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Andrew: “Stropped [sic] and screwed”

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Andrew: “This is a penguin in the wild”

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Andrew: “This is probably the, ‘Andrew doesn’t have kids… thing, maybe, again”

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Andrew: “Were capturing a shot of a bear… fighting another bear over a fish”

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Andrew: “When I go on stage, they just say… ‘Boo'”

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Andrew: “When I’m waking up in the middle of the night and the whole house is really quiet, I don’t wanna be broadcasting what I’m doing in there; so, I turn the jet engine up to eleven.”

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Andrew: “You can put the Light Phone on your light-up toilet, and everything’s… Everything’s gonna come up Lukles”

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Andrew and Luke: Andrew being “No, but” while talking about toilets

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Andrew and Luke: Andrew had a little Death Rattle happen

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Andrew and Luke: “I was part of some program where… they, they were helping… (A government program?) It was a, it was a program for bad photographers, to try to encourage them”

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Andrew and Luke: “It took me a long time to figure out what the hell was going on there. I’m gonna have the, I’m gonna have the pizza at Stubbs. Gimme pizza. Right.”

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Andrew and Luke: “Just Kazaa that shit. Limewire”

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Luke: “Butt washer”

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Luke: “Chris ‘Bidets’ Hayes”

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Luke: “Cover your bald spot?”

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Luke: Doing the Duck Hunt Dog laugh

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Luke: “Doo-hickey”

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Luke: “Holy shit!!”

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Luke: “I’ve paralyzed one of my legs…by being on the john too long. AMA”

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Luke: Laughing

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Luke: Laughing #2

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Luke: “Luuuuuuke!”

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Luke: “Oh my goodness… I’m gonna have to write this and we’re gonna have to do it live”

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Luke: “Overnight… BMs? Sweet. Okay. Thanks!”

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Luke: Saying “Machete” in a funny manner

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Luke: Trying to say “You ever see one of those” as Norm Macdonald

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Luke: “You’re gonna hear this and you’re gonna be like, ‘This is most, this is some pretty Luke music'”

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Luke and Andrew: “Did you ever have a friend with Duck Hunt who would like or some kid you’d be playing with, who would put the gun right up against the screen? Yeah, of course, we all knew assholes.”

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Luke and Andrew: “I don’t know if I’d pick up a cougar and tell it, ‘You did such a good job!’ (No, I don’t think I would)”

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Luke and Andrew: “I’ll, I’ll see your Death Rattle and raise you a gross phlegm story (Mmm)”

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Luke and Andrew: “New York City? New York City!?”

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Luke and Andrew: “Oh my God, I love your exhaust fan, it’s a beautiful exhaust fan. (It is a) I love your exhaust fan. It’s a jet engine.”

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Luke and Andrew: “Oh… absitively, (Really) posolutely!”

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Luke and Andrew: “We would love to see y’all there. Oh man, it’s already starting. I just said ‘Y’all’ like it’s a thing for me. (I know, I know!) It’s not, it’s not!”

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