Clips From TBTL #2268

Andrew: “Am I gonna… flaunt these?”

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Andrew: “Are they just like putting ‘Copyright, What The Fuck Ever’?”

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Andrew: “Do you want to see my Chinese bootleg?”

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Andrew: “I assume you have a hickey”

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Andrew: “I hate Saturns!”

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Andrew: “I have no idea what my plan was; and, whatever it was, it was stupid. Somebody just told on me.”

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Andrew: “I have so many nuts to name!”

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Andrew: “I just got the worst of both worlds”

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Andrew: “I think you and I are both the kind of person who can’t say off once it enters our brain”

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Andrew: Laughing

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Andrew: Laughing #2

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Andrew: Laughing #3

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Andrew: “Make Out King Luke Burbank strikes again!”

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Andrew: “No!”

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Andrew: “Not yet!”

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Andrew: “Oh, crap, that is Andrew! He’s a crybaby, douchebag! Tell him to get over it, he voted for a loser!”

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Andrew: “Oh, God!”

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Andrew: “Some bear wore this hat”

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Andrew: “Transliteration is the conversion of text from one script to another. For instance, Latin transliteration of the Greek phrase… Okay, then I can’t pronounce any of it, because it’s different letters.”

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Andrew and Luke: Andrew laughing and Luke saying “Idiot!”

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Andrew and Luke: “B-whoooo! Yeah.”

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Andrew and Luke: “Blue. Ha!”

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Andrew and Luke: “Caulk, C-A-U-L-K. But, that sounds like a different word! I had no… Have you had your second kiss yet? Not yet! Anything on your mind? Why, what’s, what’s with the breath spray, my friend? Hold on. Oh, man… that went way down… That was too much. I flew, I flew too close to the sun on that one.”

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Andrew and Luke: “Spray into a Binanca! [sic] (Yeah)”

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Andrew and Luke: “TBTL is like a good mattress, it puts you to sleep. That’s exactly right.”

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Andrew and Luke: “That was a pretty good mouth blast at the beginning of the show that you did. How about the Binaca, was that good too?”

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Andrew and Luke: “Wait a second, you know what? That’s right, the first time I kissed a girl (Yeah… you were), I was huffing. (That’s right) That’s right. And, it wasn’t a girl, it was a mop. That’s right, it was Big Henry.”

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Andrew and Luke: “Yeah, so your ship has come in, huh? Your fresh, your minty, fresh ship has come in. Yep!”

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Luke: “#LowCarbLife”

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Luke: “Ah, still got it. Still got it.”

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Luke: Chuckling

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Luke: “Do not take away my alcohol carbs”

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Luke: “Don’t mess with me. I’m hooked up on Binaca Blast right now.”

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Luke: “Friday can’t come soon enough for you, my friends”

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Luke: “I basically, just, pepper-sprayed myself”

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Luke: “I just jammed this breath spray deep in my mouth; and, then, just like, ‘Hey dude, do you want some?'”

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Luke: “I would… probably, instinctively, not tell Carey about it; because, my thought would be, that would freak her chili”

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Luke: Laughing

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Luke: Laughing #2

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Luke: Laughing and Clapping

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Luke: “Oh, man… that went way down… That was too much. I flew, I flew too close to the sun on that one.”

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Luke: Saying “‘ello, what’s this?” with a Cockney accent

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Luke: Singing “Go to sleep, little Andy”

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Luke: “This is such a long climb for a short slide”

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Luke: “You have to leave, this is the women’s bathroom.”

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Luke: “You know, Reggie Jackson, or Carl Weathers, or… Idiot!”

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Luke and Andrew: “And now you can kiss her, dude. You gotta kiss her! (Mmm-hmm)”

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Luke and Andrew: Andrew laughing to Luke playing the “Carl’s World” drop

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Luke and Andrew: Binaca x Star Trek

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Luke and Andrew: “By the way, I was the only kid who was using Binaca Blast as a way to freshen one’s breath. Yeah, you were the, you were the make out king, right?”

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Luke and Andrew: “Can you do me one kindness? Yeah, of course.”

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Luke and Andrew: Carey asked Luke if he was allergic to flushing the toilet

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Luke and Andrew: Make Out King Luke Burbank

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Luke and Andrew: Naming Nuts

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Luke and Andrew: “Stop guessing Burbank, stop guessing. Let’s not ask each other”

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Luke and Andrew: “You know, a moment on the lips, (Right) a lifetime (Right) on the… wait!? (I dunno)”

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Clips From TBTL #2267

Andrew: Aggressively asking for some money

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Andrew: “All of my shit is out there”

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Andrew: “Boom, boom, boom”

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Andrew: “C-H-3-3-S?”

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Andrew: “CH33SE STK”

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Andrew: “Come on, I’m done dunning you people!”

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Andrew: “Hey, ya dummy!”

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Andrew: “How do you make crystal meth?”

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Andrew: “I like to add syllables”

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Andrew: “My bo-ody”

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Andrew: “No offense, Jimmy!”

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Andrew: Saying “Does anybody remember laughter?” in a squeaky falsetto

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Andrew: Singing “Hey, Andrew. I love y–“

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Andrew: Snorting

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Andrew: “So, we are gonna put an ‘E’ at the end of ‘CH33SE'”

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Andrew: “The ‘Something Something and The Wallingford Rambles,’ I assume…”

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Andrew: “Wow! Wow!!”

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Andrew: “You too [sic]

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Andrew: “Yuppers, buppers”

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Andrew and Luke: “Alright, I’ll go with that. I’ll allow it (Cool)”

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Andrew and Luke: “And usually (Ah) when you’re talking, I’m just looking for things on Facebook”

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Andrew and Luke: “Carl Weathers (He’s a Carl Weathers.)  Say it, say it my way!”

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Andrew and Luke: “I don’t like that language, Jimmy. I don’t appreciate that tone! No, nor do I. Nor do I!”

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Andrew and Luke: “Swell it a little bit here, give us a little bit more. Give us that thick beat. Gross. What? You make the song sound gross.”

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Andrew and Luke: “Unfair! Sad! Sad!”

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Andrew and Luke: “You and I like to pick nits together, so… Nobody likes to picking nits like (Yeah, yeah) you and me.”

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Luke: “BTDubs”

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Luke: “C-H-3-3-S-E S-T-K”

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Luke: Chuckling

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Luke: Chuckling #2

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Luke: “Do you have a Google Alert set up for my name!?”

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Luke: “Goddamn it!”

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Luke: “He captures the grace and power of the tall ships, day in and day out, here as the Hodor of podcasting”

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Luke: “I think this might be my yearly losing my voice”

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Luke: “I’m actually on cheese stick, which is not some new street drug. It’s just the thing I just ate. Although, cheese stick wouldn’t be a bad name for a street drug. I’m on cheese stick, I’m on some peppered turkey.”

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Luke: “Luke, I’m stunned”

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Luke: “No-o-o-o, my friend”

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Luke: “Oh, Andrew”

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Luke: “Per usual”

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Luke: “Por ejemplo”

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Luke: Pronouncing “The Eagles” in an interesting way

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Luke: Singing “He Done Done”

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Luke: “That’s been bothering me for three days”

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Luke: “That’s, that’s, that’s new, that’s hip. That’s what the kids are doing.”

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Luke: “The Flickr of cheese stick. Well, you could call it Cheese Stickr.”

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Luke: “‘Tis the season for Luke to lose his voice”

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Luke: Vocalizing being shocked or surprised

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Luke: “What!”

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Luke: “You know, that kind of whole, that situation”

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Luke and Andrew: “But, I have a lot of radio shows. You too [sic]. How did I not know that about you?”

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Luke and Andrew: Luke singing “The world don’t need another photo sharing…” and Andrew asking “How are you feeling by the way?”

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Luke and Andrew: “Oh, Andrew. Always the team player, Google Alerting my name too (No, no)”

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Luke and Andrew: Porky Pigging It Up

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Luke and Andrew: Skits vs Sketches

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Clips From TBTL #2266

Andrew: “And, I don’t know what the shit this is”

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Andrew: “Beep beep beep”

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Andrew: “But, obviously, that’s a joke on me ‘cuz I’m the one who’s been a big baby about it”

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Andrew: “Carol, hold my calls”

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Andrew: Cat got Andrew’s tongue

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Andrew: Cat got Andrew’s tongue #2

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Andrew: “Clever girl”

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Andrew: “Dr. Mountainstein’s Monster”

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Andrew: “I would go to sleep with the sound of like tow trucks, not tow trucks, like tow motors, or forklifts, as you would call them.”

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Andrew: Laughing

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Andrew: “Like, I was this character that was kind of rolling my eyes at Luke”

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Andrew: “Oh yeah!”

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Andrew: “Oh, no!”

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Andrew: “Pickup”

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Andrew: “Power out”

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Andrew: “Really!?”

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Andrew: Speaking like Pete Carroll

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Andrew: “Straight-up truck”

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Andrew: “That, my friend, was a double whammy of a sentence”

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Andrew: “The Wet Mint Bandits”

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Andrew: “This is not interesting podcast talk; but… you and I… just to tell you, Luke”

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Andrew: “This is sounds [sic] insulting, and I don’t mean it as insulting as it sounds, but I actually think it’s the perfect level of acting for her.”

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Andrew: “To the big stage”

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Andrew: “Unfair! Not fair!”

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Andrew: “Whether it’s caulk, glue or booze, he’s gonna, he’s gonna treat ya sternly”

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Andrew: “Who is this guy?”

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Andrew: “With a, you know, a truck nut joke or two”

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Andrew: “Yeah”

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Andrew and Luke: “And, that’s why I kept on saying, ‘Shut up, dummy, I’m talking!’ (Yeah) every time you (Yeah) got a word in edge-wise. Go back (yeah) to the tape, it’s in there.”

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Andrew and Luke: “But, just seeing like a ten dollar bill just laying on the pillow just… I dunno, made me feel a little weird, I’m (Services rendered) not gonna lie. Right.”

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Andrew and Luke: “He’s gonna be a real HUD-sucker! Hey-oh!”

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Andrew and Luke: “I also think I say ‘continental’ weird. Do I say ‘camera’… Camera. Camera”

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Andrew and Luke: “It was a… pickup truck. I’d (Whoa!) never been picked up in a pickup truck… an Uber pickup truck.”

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Andrew and Luke: Lake Erie Chop and Screw

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Andrew and Luke: Lake Erie Screw Corporation

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Andrew and Luke: “She’s a woman shopper… The shopper was a woman!”

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Andrew and Luke: “She’s a woman shopper… The shopper was a woman! And, that’s why she couldn’t operate… on the rack of lamb.”

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Luke: “And then, the series of unfortunate events”

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Luke: “Because, I have made it such a life goal to try to claw my way, like Gollum, up to first class, to my precious”

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Luke: “By the way, I think that you speak for all the listeners when you say, ‘We’re not gonna do a No Point. Good.'”

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Luke: “Have a couple of adult bevvies. I can’t believe I just said that.”

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Luke: “Holy guacamole”

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Luke: “I win”

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Luke: “I’m calling them our M.I.A., Paper Planes level donors of the day”

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Luke: “I’ve embraced my truckiness”

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Luke: “It just keeps coming”

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Luke: “It’s really a, sort of a ‘Home Alone 3: Par Excellence'”

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Luke: “Keep it together, LB. Keep it together.”

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Luke: Laughing

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Luke: “So, all’s well that ends well”

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Luke: “That’s love for you”

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Luke: “Wouldn’t that be cool”

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Luke: “Yes, here I am, don’t worry. I haven’t gone anywhere.”

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Luke and Andrew: “Did the recording work? Yeah. Yeah… (Oh, no!)”

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Luke and Andrew: “Dude, here’s your glue. I wasn’t trying to steal it. You know, tick it up your butt. And then… And he was prepared to do it from, like, the way he looked. There was, to my knowledge, no coconut.”

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Luke and Andrew: “It was either this or SkyJinks level donors of the day. You guys are so lucky. You dodged, you dodged a SkyJinks. You dodged a SkyJink… Woo.”

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Luke and Andrew: “It was like a tube of… Something (blue) very personal. Yes, exactly.”

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Luke and Andrew: “She’s like Madonna, (Yeah) but of podcast… She’s more like (Alright) Gadonna… But, yeah.”

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Luke and Andrew: Slingblading

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Clips From TBTL #2265: Serengeti Edition

For the TBTL live show, #2265 in a collector’s series, at The Virgin Hotel in Chicago, Illinois, Luke and Andrew had David Cohn, aka Serengeti, as the musical guest. Serengeti performed two songs, including “Dennehy”.

Serengeti: Singing “Dennehy”

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Serengeti: Singing “Rhythm of Devotion”

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Serengeti: Singing “We are the Mid-North. We’re not Kansas, we’re not Nebraska, we’re not Dallas, we’re not Topeka. We are the Mid-North. We are Chi-Town, we are Minneapolis, we are Detroit, sometimes Cleveland.”

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Serengeti: “Ding, ding, ding. There you go.”

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Serengeti: “Downtown. North Side. South Side. Some East. West Side, massive. South Side, massive. North Side, paradise.”

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Serengeti: “Some say, ‘tomatoes.’ I say, ‘potatoes!'”

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Serengeti and Andrew: “Ice, rice, Berenger, Danza, Mathis. You know what I’m saying? Dandruff? Danza! I thought there was some dandruff in the recorded version. (Oh, yeah, yeah…) Yeah, there’s a little dandruff in there, right? I forgot the lyrics.”

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Clips From TBTL #2265: Luke Burbank Edition

Luke: Audience joining in with Luke in saying “No mountain too tall, and good luck to all.”

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Luke: “But, it, it warmed the cockles of my heart!”

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Luke: “Can I get three hot waters sent to the stage… hold the water, add vodka. Room temperature.”

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Luke: “Carey said, ‘Did he look at you?’ I was like, ‘In the eyes!'”

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Luke: “Easy, Jill Stein!”

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Luke: “Easy, sleazy!”

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Luke: “Easy, Sniffles”

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Luke: Funny “Sorry”

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Luke: “I forgot to give the, the, the pep talk about ‘Please clap’ at the beginning of this show, but this crowd just knew instinctively”

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Luke: “It was like an insane world!”

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Luke: “It’s very early in the night for you to, give me that kind of ‘tude, dude.”

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Luke: “Not all heroes wear capes”

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Luke: “Oh my God. You gotta watch out for post-func. It’s never good.”

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Luke: “Oh my goodness gracious”

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Luke: “Sharp-shot, by your wife-bot”

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Luke: “Some of it’s potatoes, some of it’s tomatoes.”

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Luke: “That was the lamest statement I’ve ever heard”

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Luke: “The cobra escapes from the hold, goes back down the sewer, and is now, currently, as we record this program in Chicago, IL, haunting the sewers of Pretoria, South Africa… likely to pop up at anytime, into someone’s bunghole.”

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Luke: “We were somewhere near Barstow when the Robitussin kicked in”

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Luke and Andrew: “A joker, not a toker (Right)”

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Luke and Andrew: “Alright… Andrew. Yes.”

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Luke and Andrew: “And I realized it was extremely cold. Yeah, and I had your scarf. Sorry about that. That is true. You had weirdly folded my scarf on your bed in your hotel room. Yeah, and it smells nice. Also a true story.”

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Luke and Andrew: Andrew “Almond Milk” Walsh

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Luke and Andrew: Backstory on the “Top Story” drop and thinking about using a different drop for segment

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Luke and Andrew: “I was doing another radio thing… This is really an excuse for me to talk about how many radio things I do. Yeah, I know. You’re a big fucking deal. (Last night…)”

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Luke and Andrew: “I’m allowed to vomit wherever I want. Right.”

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Luke and Andrew: “Is he Master Splinter!? I don’t know what’s going on!”

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Luke and Andrew: “Leave a piece of beef jerky on the rim of the toilet; and, if it’s gone, you know the snake’s here. Or, I got high at night again.”

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Luke and Andrew: “Oh, wait. Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait… Wait. What am I forgetting? What am I forgetting?”

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Luke and Andrew: Toilet Cobras, Not Luke’s Number Twos

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Luke and Andrew: “What I feel like we need is some kind of app for what favors are equal to other favors. That sounds like friendship.”

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Clips From TBTL #2265: Andrew Walsh Edition

Andrew: “Don’t touch the noodles”

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Andrew: “Get me out of this segment!”

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Andrew: “God! You’re so good at radio. You’re so much better at this than me!”

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Andrew: “Hey, everybody. I love your city. Like, I love it a lot.”

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Andrew: “Holy macaroons”

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Andrew: “Holy shit!”

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Andrew: “I can’t believe that was you!”

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Andrew: “I carry around a lot of stuff”

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Andrew: “I don’t think that’s fair. Like, I don’t, I don’t think that necessarily you see someone who’s attractive, and… Is it creepy that I’m calling your wife attractive? That’s, now, now… Maybe I’m making it weird. I definitely am.”

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Andrew: “I frickin’ love quizzes!”

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Andrew: “I puttered the shit out of that hotel room yesterday”

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Andrew: “I thought you were cute!”

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Andrew: “I was in the zone!”

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Andrew: “I, I tend to leak from the facial area when I’m doing a podcast”

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Andrew: “I’m sitting here doing my (???), bro!”

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Andrew: “It’s not ‘par excellence’. It’s ‘par exemple’.”

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Andrew: Laughing and saying “I did”

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Andrew: Making teletype sounds

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Andrew: “No, no, you’re fucked. I’m telling you. Nobody is, nobody is winning this quiz.”

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Andrew: “Oh, yeah!”

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Andrew: Saying “I’m thinking about getting a slab and a half of ribs” in a funny manner

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Andrew: “That was you, who asked me for the almond milk?!?”

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Andrew: “This one’s for the night time drugs!”

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Andrew: “…To Burbank that joke”

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Andrew: “Uh-oh”

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Andrew: “Uhh, too old for that shit”

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Andrew: “What the shit!!?”

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Andrew and Luke: Andrew reading a one star review on Yelp

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Andrew and Luke: “Anyway, so nobody shit ever again. That’s the power out of that story. Okay, power out. (Power out) Indeed.”

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Andrew and Luke: “Are you ready? Yeah. Don’t say anything funny while this is off. Okay.”

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Andrew and Luke: “Have you ever had too fast of service before…? My wife has. Hey-oh! I don’t think she’s here yet, is why I feel so comfortable making that joke. Oh, yeah. She’s in the back. Sorry.”

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Andrew and Luke: “Have you, have you looked in your rearview mirror and been like, ‘Hottie behind me!’? N-n–I actually have not.”

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Andrew and Luke: “He was like, ‘Not to interrupt, but what is happening behind you right now?’ It just kept going! Like, nine cars of seasonal delight”

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Andrew and Luke: “Oh, she’s a TBTL listener. Yeah, exactly. Sharp-shot, by your wife-bot. (Right)”

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Andrew and Luke: Someone left to use the bathroom right after Andrew warned about potential toilet fears that might crop up from a Top Story

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Andrew and Luke: The vibe was perfect, almost nar’redic [ph] or the illest

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Andrew and Serengeti: Andrew called Serengeti “Dennehy”

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