Category: Audio Clips

Andrew: “Alli-oops”

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Andrew: “Bated dragon breath”

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Andrew: Chuckling

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Andrew: “Come on!”

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Andrew: “Croissant”

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Andrew: “Don’t finish that sentence”

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Andrew: “Dude, you’re getting a Dell”

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Andrew: Garbled “Implicitly”

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Andrew: “Going insane… I seriously am!”

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Andrew: “He’s a great dentist!”

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Andrew: “I don’t know what I’m looking at! Never show a man his computer mid-surgery!”

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Andrew: “I just opened my mouth and made this sound”

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Andrew: “I shoulda taken it there. Shoulda taken it there.”

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Andrew: “I’ll never work in this town again. It’s all over!”

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Andrew: “In doing so, I’ll have to list a bunch of gross things; and then, I’ll gross myself out.”

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Andrew: Laughing

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Andrew: Laughing #2

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Andrew: Laughing #3

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Andrew: Laughing and saying “What are you doing?”

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Andrew: Laughing to a clip being played

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Andrew: “Obviously just done, just freaking done with this situation!”

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Andrew: “Obviously, there’s a time in my career when I would’ve just flipped my shit about that; like, I would just been like ‘I’ll never work in this town again. It’s all over!'”

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Andrew: Quietly saying “You’re not gonna like this”

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Andrew: “Shaken, Kevin Bacon”

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Andrew: Speaking gibberish in slo-mo

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Andrew: “That’s not how it works”

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Andrew: “Turkey gobble wind-chill sort of situation”

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Andrew: “USB Talk with Luke Burbank”

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Andrew: “USB with LB”

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Andrew: “We’re here, we’re turkey, get used to it”

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Andrew: “What did you do?”

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Andrew: “When will it be done?”

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Andrew: “You… get off the goddamn unicycle!”

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Andrew and Luke: Bubble Kasell or Kasell Bubble

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Andrew and Luke: “Oh! Shhh— Yeah! Sade! Really!?”

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Luke: “Alley-oops!”

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Luke: Chuckling

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Luke: Drawn out “D’oh-oh!”

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Luke: “Get Jesse!”

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Luke: “Holy shit, you’re on a unicycle!”

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Luke: “I don’t want to even know what kind of witch’s brew is in my gutty works right now from all that”

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Luke: “I had three and a half Duke’s spicy sausages”

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Luke: “I was livin’ in that hot-air balloon!”

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Luke: Laughing

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Luke: Laughing #2

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Luke: Mr. Yuk

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Luke: “My name is Luke Burbank. I don’t think I realized how… angry that guys was gonna be”

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Luke: “Not, not anything that you know-sef Josef. What?”

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Luke: Quietly Chuckling

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Luke: Singing “Shorty”

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Luke: “Zapp and Rogers, all time greatest hits, Computer Love, donors of the day”

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Luke and Andrew: “Dude, you’re not getting a Dell. No.”

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Luke and Andrew: “I have show titles coming out of my ears. Oh, good. Eww, also gross. (Ear mites) Isn’t there a commercial about that too?”

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Luke and Andrew: “I’m not gonna tell your cats that. LostTheirOwners.BadAndrew. Don’t go to that website.”

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Luke and Andrew: Luke laughing and Andrew saying “No”

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Luke and Andrew: Luke puts the Burbank in USB

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Luke and Andrew: “This may just be the instrumental version… Oh, no! Is this karaoke? Actually, I think it’s just the karaoke version. (Oh, shit!)”

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Luke and Andrew: “What am I to do, walk around the world with stank breath? No, walk around the world eating ice cream after your show.”

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Andrew: “Boom-body of the day”

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Andrew: “But people’d say, ‘What do you do for a living?’ Well usually, I would lie”

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Andrew: Fail Sound

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Andrew: Fart Sound

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Andrew: “Hey man, you just made the current Ten of the Week a very happy man”

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Andrew: “I don’t wanna be the guy who farted”

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Andrew: “I told you, I don’t like Zappa. I don’t get that reference!”

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Andrew: “It’s all farts and mirrors with you”

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Andrew: “Just pull my finger”

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Andrew: Laughing

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Andrew: Laughing #2

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Andrew: Laughing #3

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Andrew: Laughing #4

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Andrew: “Like, I just did not grow up in a ‘pull my finger’ kind of environment”

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Andrew: Saying “Oh his daughter’s wedding day” as Marlon Brando in “The Godfather”

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Andrew: “They say that we’re always stronger in the farty places… I think.”

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Andrew: “Well, what about Lukels?”

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Andrew: “What!?!”

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Andrew: “Working on my night cheese tonight”

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Andrew and Luke: “I am a little bit concerned about Carey, though; because, it sounds like to me, you’re planning on being the most annoying guy to watch The Godfather with. And, that’s different from watching other movies with me how!!?”

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Luke: “Alright Burbank, you’re done.”

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Luke: “And just give them a not-so-gentle double-paw tap right on their family jewels”

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Luke: “Aw, shit!”

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Luke: “Her motto is FREAM: Food Rules Everything Around Me”

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Luke: “I’m back baby, I’m back!”

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Luke: “If, if you’re in a fart-based relationship”

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Luke: “KIRO: After Hours”

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Luke: Laughing

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Luke: Laughing #2

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Luke: “Oh my God”

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Luke: “Pain is just farts not leaving the body”

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Luke: “Pod-dog… loves to jump up on the, the genital region of visitors to Burbank Springs; hoping, that some kind of food will out like a, like a vending machine or something”

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Luke: “Save it for the No Point!”

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Luke: “The world is a slightly better place when we’re not all farting on each other all the time”

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Luke: “Tremendous rattle… of truth”

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Luke: “We are now part of APM Podcasts!”

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Luke: “Whatever is wrong with my brain”

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Luke and Andrew: “Could we call, could we call…photo segment, ‘Heavy Petting’? Yes we can. Yes we must! Yes we must.”

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Luke and Andrew: “Easy, Captain Beefheart. Yeah.”

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Luke and Andrew: “Infinite Guest was the name of the, the network of podcasts, the grouping of podcasts. The murder of podcasts. The parliament of podcasts. That’s right.”

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Luke: “Alright. We good.”

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Luke: “Am I gonna get to be the hero of this story?”

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Luke: “Bamboo!”

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Luke: Cackling

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Luke: Cackling #2

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Luke: “Can I just open, like, the firehose of my feelings”

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Luke: “Euugh, that ain’t good.”

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Luke: “It was like the Harlem Grobetrotters”

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Luke: “It’s gone to that mole heaven in the sky”

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Luke: “Luke’s impending health crisis”

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Luke: “Mmm-hmm. Okay. Good.”

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Luke: “Oh, good. It’s just a mole.”

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Luke: “Oh, man. Ooh, burn. Roast. Oh, he capped on you.”

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Luke: “Shit, we gettin’ a new Costco!”

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Luke: “So, it’s not cancerous. Can I get it back then? Could they re-attach it? No? Okay.”

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Luke: “That was, my jam, as a child”

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Luke: “This election has fucking freaked my chili… you know?”

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Luke: “Toenail clippers, my man”

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Luke: “What are all these weird marks on your back?”

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Luke: “WTF”

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Luke: “You, it’s nail chewin’ time”

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Luke and Andrew: “And, the worst part was that there was a blanket of some kind (No) over something, and I shook it out and just (No) a cascade of toenails, (No!) like clipped toenails”

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Luke and Andrew: Forensics File and Peanut M&M’s

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Luke and Andrew: “Know that you want to send a message to those fat cats in Washington. Those fat cats in St. Paul!”

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Luke and Andrew: “Oh, LB didn’t, you know, come in on a jetpack and cast the winning vote? (Mmm) LB doesn’t have time for this. Wait, you did come in on a jetpack though. You just didn’t know if it was the winning vote.”

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Luke and Andrew: “Wasn’t it supposed to be, ‘What do you know-sef, Josef?’ Aaghh! Re-introduce me.”

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Andrew: “Aaghh!”

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Andrew: “By the way… there are some F words coming up”

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Andrew: “Can I, can I just disconnect the line before you finish this; cuz, I think I know what you’re gonna say”

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Andrew: Drawn out and groaning “No!”

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Andrew: “Excuse me while I slip into something more annoying”

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Andrew: “Hello, Luke Burbank”

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Andrew: “I will stand. I will pace. I will kind of wring my hands. I’m a hand-wringer.”

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Andrew: Laughing

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Andrew: Laughing #2

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Andrew: Laughing #3

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Andrew: Laughing #4

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Andrew: Laughing and saying “Oh, God!”

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Andrew: “Like a little slam dunky thing”

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Andrew: “M-m-my brain’s has to do what brain’s got to do”

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Andrew: “Move over, booze”

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Andrew: “Oh, by the way… this is gonna get gross”

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Andrew: “Oh, God! How are we gonna get through this segment!?!”

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Andrew: “Oh, no.”

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Andrew: “See, Luke? You effed the country!”

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Andrew: “Sorry”

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Andrew: “Sup, man! Damn it!!! G–Just gimme one more, just one more. I got it this time.”

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Andrew: “Wait, wait, wait. Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.”

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Andrew: “We’re just kind of slipping into, slipping into annoying mode”

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Andrew: “What do you know-sef, Josef?”

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Andrew: “What we all just saw was, you know, a bunch of people who are gathered to be entertained for an evening; so, it was a good thing that everybody there didn’t just Andrew it up and hide behind the bleachers.”

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Andrew: “Wow. You are… over-estimating the power of TBTL, my friend.”

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Andrew: “Yeah, son.”

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Andrew and Luke: Andrew’s brain kicked off a self-defense mechanism, trying to forget Luke’s toenail story

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Andrew and Luke: “I’m pretty sure we can just go forever, until we break (Okay) the Internet”

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Andrew and Luke: “I’m putting you on the… Bud Light Michelada Lime hot seat here. Yup!”

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Andrew and Luke: Laughing

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Andrew and Luke: “Now, if you had me sit down, and blindfolded me, and then bit my fingernails for a while, and then gave me a… cuz… That’s how we do! And just ran ostrich feather over your lips. Oh, God! I’ve them all written down at home, if you’d like to see it. I’ve got some drawings.”

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Andrew and Luke: Singing “Brooklyn, we sit hard. We sit hard.”

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Andrew and Luke: “We’re off to (Yes) a hot start”

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Andrew: “¡Vámanos a Cheers!”

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Andrew: “Did you wake up at midnight and just eat a turkey? That’s what I want to hear about; like, I assumed you woke up at…”

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Andrew: “Here’s the saddest thing: if we open up your head, it’s Homer Simpson; and then, if we open up Homer Simpson’s head, it’s me. So, that’s really bad.”

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Andrew: “It’s gonna be good, Luke.”

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Andrew: Laughing

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Andrew: Laughing at an SNL skit

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Andrew: “Look at me and how wonderful my life is”

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Andrew: “Oh, man.”

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Andrew: Quiet “What?”

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Andrew: “Really!?”

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Andrew: Saying “Yeah, it’s good” as Bob Dylan

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Andrew: “Well Camus can do, but Satre is smartre”

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Andrew and Luke: “Gracias. ¡Vámanos!”

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Andrew and Luke: “Probably like the last moment before death, we all probably feel okay. I’m feel warm, I’m levitating. What the eff!”

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Luke: “¡Vámanos!”

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Luke: Chuckling

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Luke: “Cómo se dice, level”

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Luke: “Damn, I feel good this morning!”

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Luke: “Et cetera, et cetera”

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Luke: “I have problems today!”

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Luke: “I’m Homer S. Pumpkin!”

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Luke: “I’m trapped in a David S. Pumpkin’s world”

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Luke: “It stinks!”

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Luke: Laughing

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Luke: Laughing at a Simpsons clip

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Luke: “Portland, Oregon, the Rose City by the Bay”

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Luke: Saying “Hey man, keep on keeping on. No cameras, please.” as Bob Dylan

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Luke: Saying “You’ve got a lotta nerve!” as Bob Dylan

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Luke: Singing “I go out eatin’, after midnight, out in the moonlight, just like a cartoon mouse”

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Luke: Singing “I go out eatin’, after midnight”

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Luke: Singing “Sun’s coming up, looking over the clouds. Listen to a story about police ineptitude and kidnapped children”

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Luke: “Snitches get stitches”

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Luke: “What the eff!”

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Luke: “Zing!”

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Luke and Andrew: Chipper, new Luke wants to sing the Cheers theme song in Spanish

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Luke and Andrew: El Niña, La Niña and Luke is bueno at Español

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Luke and Andrew: “I drank… the blood of an infant. Oh, wow!”

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Luke and Andrew: “It’s a Russian nesting doll of inadequacy (of inadequacy and stupidity)”

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Luke and Andrew: Luke is turning into Mark Russell

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Luke and Andrew: Mark Russell Fan Forum

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Luke and Andrew: The Full Russellization of Luke Burbank

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Luke and Andrew: “The smell…. What? It stinks!”

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Luke and Andrew: “What do you think you would grab? Probably ‘A Gift From A Flower To A Garden’… Donovan record. I don’t even know what that is! It’s a Donovan record.”

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Luke and Andrew: “What Homer just did is the inside of my brain, twenty-four hours a day (I know!)”

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Luke and Andrew: “Whoa. Whoa.”

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Andrew: “And possibly even smoked one too many cigarettes. I know! I know. You should never smoke cigarettes, especially when you’re sick. But… I did, Josef. I did.”

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Andrew: “Bleu”

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Andrew: “Hello-sef, Josef. How do you like that? That’s my new thing.”

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Andrew: “Hey listen, I know. I, I like cheap-o beer. I’m not some sort of beer snob about it; but, just generally speaking, this story is depressing.”

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Andrew: “Hoo-hoo!”

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Andrew: “How does that happen!?”

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Andrew: “I got the brain-cloud”

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Andrew: “I have a cold”

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Andrew: “I think I’m gonna be a little slappy today”

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Andrew: “I’m out”

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Andrew: “I’m-a get me some pho”

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Andrew: Laughing

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Andrew: “Oh, God. That killed me.”

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Andrew: “Oh, really?”

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Andrew: “Ohhhh”

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Andrew: “What!?!”

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Andrew: “What is that?”

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Andrew: Whispering “Yo quiero Taco Bell”

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Andrew: “Whoa”

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Andrew: “You know… whatever.”

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Andrew and Luke: Chuckling

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Andrew and Luke: “You know what that was? That was the audio equivalent of Olive putting her paw on Carey’s finger. Ohhhh!”

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Luke: Chuckling and saying “Oh, man.”

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Luke: “Goddamn, that’s racist!”

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Luke: “I call that, ‘The Marriage Buster'”

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Luke: “I got more juice to drink; so, buckle up, everybody.”

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Luke: “I will slake my thirst with your blood!”

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Luke: Imitating sound of a line whistle

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Luke: Imitating sound of a line whistle #2

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Luke: “Job-job”

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Luke: “My wegs were shakin'”

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Luke: “Nguyen”

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Luke: “Nguyen” #2

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Luke: “Nguyen” #3

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Luke: “Nguyen” #4

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Luke: “Oh, no-sef, Josef”

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Luke: “Ow!”

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Luke: “Skyjinks, woo!”

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Luke: “Sorry, my… Hey L.A. Times… stop, please.”

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Luke: “That was actually me messing something up”

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Luke: “The Bay Kitty. We have so much to talk about with her. She had a rough yesterday, it turned out. Went to get, went to get spayed… or neutered. That’s how we honor Bob Barker’s memory in this house; is, we help control the pet population by having our pets spayed and neutered. I think only, maybe the girls gets spayed and the boys get neutered?”

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Luke and Andrew: “And, tell them The Bone sent ya! Don’t!”

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Luke and Andrew: “But, the first thing the doctor said was, he goes, ‘Has any insects come out of it?’ Hoo-hoo!”

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Luke and Andrew: hWhooping Cough vs Whooping Cough

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Luke and Andrew: Luke’s Job-job

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Luke and Andrew: “This mofo gonna break this seat into my lap! (Right. That’s exactly…) Yo, relax!”

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Luke and Andrew: Trying to figure out if the name spoken will be Rámon or Fernando

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Luke and Andrew: “We, we full-ass each and every episode (Yes! Yes, we certainly do!) of the show…”

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