Category: Audio Clips

Andrew: Attempting to make a drum roll sound and saying “Wait, that’s a boat.”

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Andrew: Drawn out “Ahhh”

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Andrew: “God, Walsh, why are you doing this?”

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Andrew: “Hah-ha!”

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Andrew: “I horfed three tacos, uh, three large tacos. Three Rancho Bravo-sized tacos.”

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Andrew: “I was in a cranky-ass mood on yesterday’s show. I don’t know why. I don’t know if I’m supposed to apologize.”

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Andrew: “I was ready for the Universe to say, ‘No, you’ve been looking forward to this moment for too long; so, it’s not gonna be that great.’ But, the Universe gave me this one.”

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Andrew: “I’m cutting this all out”

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Andrew: “It mostly sounds like bullshit”

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Andrew: Laughing to The Price Is Right losing horn

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Andrew: Making the sad horns sound

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Andrew: “Oh, goddamn it!”

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Andrew: Snorting and a Chuckle

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Andrew: “Tagging along for the ride”

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Andrew and Luke: Andrew making the sad horns sound and Luke saying “I’ll do the sound effects around here”

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Andrew and Luke: “If I’m not handing out candy on Halloween, I ain’t handing (Yeah) out birthday messages in Chicago!”

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Andrew and Luke: “Would you say it’s a gateway rug? And, we got our show title.”

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Luke: “And, I horfed down half a wheel of cotija cheese”

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Luke: “Because, that’s how much time we’ve got for this Tuesday afternoon edition of TBTL, the show that just might be Too Beautiful To Live… Too Beautiful To Live!”

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Luke: “Boo”

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Luke: “Excellent spoof, my friend”

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Luke: “I got tricked and treated”

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Luke: Laughing

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Luke: “Lord willing and the creeks don’t rise”

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Luke: “She’s in the… Olive’s Garden, if you will.”

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Luke: “There you go, my Daisy. There you go.”

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Luke: “Tootsie Rolls and… and Power Gloves and… and Zip drives”

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Luke: “Walsh, Walsh, Baby”

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Luke: “We gotta thank our Count Duckula level donors of the day”

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Luke and Andrew: “If you have a problem, and if you can find him, you might have the A-Team. That’s the Andrew Team, in the context… That’s pretty good. I thought you were gonna say, ‘If you have a problem, Andrew will solve it'”

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Luke and Andrew: “You know, I’ve got a beef with that movie, ‘Undeclared’… Is it a beef taco?”

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Andrew: “Conflict! Conflict!”

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Andrew: “Cuz, I don’t care!”

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Andrew: “Genevieve is not gonna be home. I’ll be getting home around seven. She won’t be home until about nine; so, she asked me if I would hand out candy and I said no. That’s a true story.”

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Andrew: “I don’t like the smell of Halloween”

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Andrew: “I had a brain fart on the show last week”

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Andrew: “I understand the, the hawk guy… Ooh, hawk guy, we’re talking about the Seahawks. Didn’t even mean to do that; but, I think we can all agree, it was brilliant.”

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Andrew: Imitating one of Tom Petty’s vocalizing styles

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Andrew: “Is it too early for a fish sad-witch? And, I’m spelling ‘witch’ like a witch.”

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Andrew: “Joining us now, from the wrong side of the bed, Andrew… in Wallingford.”

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Andrew: “Oh, Old Man Walsh. I’m telling ya, I’m not fun.”

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Andrew: Singing “Dracula’s in the basement, mixing up the medicine. Frankenstein’s on the sidewalk, thinking of the government.”

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Andrew: Snorting

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Andrew: “Sorry, Charlie. Keep moving.”

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Andrew: “That’s pretty good. Where’s, where’s my Southeast-homies?”

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Andrew: “Why am I opening up a new can of worms here?”

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Andrew: “Why am I so cranky today?”

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Andrew and Luke: “Just, kind of, this limp little division. You know, Andrew, it’s not the size of your… I didn’t mean it in that way!”

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Andrew and Luke: “No Bwua-ha-ha-ha Conversion? Nope.”

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Andrew and Luke: “No, no, that was Hitchcock, dude. That was Hitchcock. So, if anyone could fact check us on those things. Love to get my e-mail full again… Not that, not that anything go to you over the weekend.”

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Andrew and Luke: “Sue me?!? Sue me for (Wha?) this?!?”

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Andrew and Luke: TBTL is 80 percent bad ideas

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Luke: “Byeee!”

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Luke: “Can you do me a, a kindness?”

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Luke: Chuckling

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Luke: Giggling

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Luke: “Great job, Alan! I think we nailed that.”

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Luke: “Horriblé”

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Luke: “I don’t wanna scare anyone; but, the podcast is coming… from inside the house!”

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Luke: “I don’t want the e-mails!”

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Luke: “Is it too early to get a fish sandwich? Oh, crap! I messed it up.”

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Luke: Laughing while Andrew is speaking

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Luke: “Looking will cost ya and touching will cost ya at this pumpkin patch. Everything will cost ya.”

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Luke: Mimicking microphone feedback and doing a heavy sigh

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Luke: “Oh man, that was bad!”

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Luke: Reacting to a crappy cover of “Werewolves of London”

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Luke: Saying “Anybody want a peanut?” as André the Giant

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Luke: Saying something really slurred together as André the Giant

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Luke: Singing “Lisa, it’s your birthday. Happy birthday, Lisa.”

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Luke: Snickering

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Luke: “The King of Freaking Pop!”

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Luke: “The Seahawks offense… it not good. Not good at all right now, and that’s a legit problem.”

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Luke: “Trying to think of a… a way to make the No Point Conversion, like the No… How would I Halloween that up? The TBTL… Groan Point Conversion? That’s terrible.”

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Luke: “Walsh, damn it!”

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Luke: “Why do I do this, Andrew?”

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Luke and Andrew: “And, and what I didn’t really realize was how long we’re usually playing music on this gall-darn show. Oh yeah, we usually have it on for five minutes, I think.”

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Luke and Andrew: “Haah! Hi, everybody. Welcome to the TBTL: No Point Conversion. How are you doing? How are you feeling? Hey… how about those Huskies?”

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Luke and Andrew: “I usually think you’re being extra hard on yourself. I don’t think you’re not being hard enough on yourself this time. I don’t care!”

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Luke and Andrew: “Is it too early to get a fish sadness? There you go.”

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Luke and Andrew: “Let’s hear a crappy cover of ‘Werewolves of London’. Wait, I like this better. How dare you, sir!”

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Luke and Andrew: “Rent a Ghost, Count Duckula… Is it, Rent-to-Own a Ghost?”

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Luke and Andrew: “The Count Duckula level (Nice) donors of the day”

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Luke and Andrew: “We didn’t even get to talk about the Browns. What do you want to say about the Browns? Ughh! I prepared that statement and I’m gonna leave it there. (I guess you’ve said it all)”

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Andrew: “Ah, I… God, that rings a vague bell. I wasn’t a huge Rogers head.”

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Andrew: “But, I know what you’re thinking right now guys. You’re thinking, ‘Aww, shit. I hear Andrew’s voice first, that means Luke’s not on the show today. It’s gonna be another Andrew-fest.’ Well, you couldn’t be more wrong. Luke is on the show today, guys. He’s just joining us by phone. Apparently, from a parking lot, outside an airport in Florida… like any upstanding citizen.”

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Andrew: “By the way, the first person who Facebook posts about it properly pronounced ‘Jif,’ I’m, I’m un-friending you and blocking you from the podcast.”

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Andrew: “How many of the people you fly with, just prove themselves to be assholes at some point during the plane?”

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Andrew: “I just highly doubt it”

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Andrew: “I say this with all love”

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Andrew: Laughing

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Andrew: “Nah, we’re gonna kick it up a thousand notches”

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Andrew: “The two, the two last word pictures you just painted for me are definitely out of something like that.”

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Andrew: “This is what we train for!”

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Andrew: “Uh, uh, guys! Going back to my ethics class in journalism school”

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Andrew: “Yes!”

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Andrew: “You won’t believe what happened on this flight today!”

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Andrew: “You’re lying! Get that dog outta here!”

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Luke: “As is often the case when one of us is doing the show from a parked car somewhere, I’m getting a little nervous about the security staff at this marina in Hollywood, Florida where I am.”

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Luke: “Can’t stop, won’t start. Or, what the hell ever, however that phrase goes”

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Luke: “Dodge Journey Forward [sic]“

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Luke: “I don’t know what it was, like, Glengarry Glen Ross shit”

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Luke: “I just want to make GIFs of Pee-Wee!”

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Luke: Laughing

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Luke: Laughing #2

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Luke: “Pappo, that’s right. I love it when you call him Big Pappo.”

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Luke: Singing “With Andrew, you should have your order more ready, at the deli. With Andrew, don’t park in the disabled parking spot if you’re (???)“

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Luke: “So, I’m sitting in this Dodge Journey Forward [sic]“

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Luke: “That sends me into a, a real Andrew state of mind”

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Luke: “That was a double negative. That was a lot of Ds, dude.”

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Luke: “The car is a Journey Forward! [sic]“

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Luke: “There are feral cats everywhere… and they are so cute!”

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Luke: “Wow! I… my new favorite thing to say is: Wow!”

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Luke and Andrew: “Everything’s coming up Walsh-house! Right.”

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Luke and Andrew: “I think this is called a Dodge Journey Forward. [sic] Journey Forward?!? That’s optimistic.”

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Luke and Andrew: Laughing

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Luke and Andrew: “Well… first of all, are you telling me you don’t eat your hamburger with chopsticks? No, I do; but, I was describing myself in that scenario.”

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Andrew: “As you know, I’m a big morning person, that’s why we did the show at the crack of, just like, the crack of dawn yesterday at, like, 10 AM; or, some crazy thing like that.”

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Andrew: “Holy shit!”

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Andrew: “I don’t have words to describe it”

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Andrew: “I get bent out of shape sometimes when people are kind of like, ‘I threw my phone across the room when Andrew got a fact wrong.’ Oh my God, I need a thicker skin”

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Andrew: “I’m not kidding”

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Andrew: “It was amazing!”

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Andrew: Laughing

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Andrew: Laughing #2

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Andrew: Laughing #3

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Andrew: Laughing #4

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Andrew: “Of the dumb shit I say on this show, I’m oddly embarrassed about that one; cuz, all these people, there’s an ongoing thread on Facebook… ‘Has anyone told Andrew, yet, that the election was in 2000 and not 2001?'”

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Andrew: “Oh, no.”

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Andrew: “Sorry if I’m a little slappy”

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Andrew: “Umm… Yeah. Uhhh, I’m…. I’m, I’m gonna say one quick thing”

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Andrew: “Wait… What the hell is this?”

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Andrew: “Well, you promised me! So, that was my imitation of me, by the way; which, is accurate.”

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Andrew: “What the fuck did I just watch?”

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Andrew: “What’s wrong with Andrew”

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Andrew: “When you said that guy, everybody was hoping you meant Chris Hayes”

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Andrew: “Whoa!”

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Andrew: “Wow. Wow.”

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Andrew: “Wow. Wow. That’s, this is… God, I’m glad I don’t work in TV. I’m not kidding.”

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Andrew: “Yeah!”

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Andrew and Luke: “Are you there? There, I’ve been there. I done been there. You’ve always been there.”

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Andrew and Luke: “What ocean is that in? Andrew… I swear to God, it is too late, here in Puerto Rico, for me to be answering ocean-related questions.”

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Luke: “And, tell you… about Andrew, Chris Hayes and the Stu-bot’s trip into viral… Twitter-dom today”

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Luke: “Euugh, what’s going on with them?”

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Luke: “How about, what’s wrong with Luke?”

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Luke: “I know that’s a lot of Ps, dude. I know that’s a lot of Ps, pal.”

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Luke: “I use the name Ked, because it matters.”

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Luke: “I wish I could’ve given you a better episode. I can’t…”

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Luke: “I’ve piña colada’d it away”

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Luke: “Silver lining alert: You’re not losing your mind”

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Luke: “Snitches get stitches”

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Luke: “Well, I ain’t no Holloware girl”

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Luke: “Well, that’s eleven minutes that you’ll never get back as a listener”

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Luke and Andrew: “At this point, my hair is more spun sugar than it is hair. Paint your bald spot? I, I don’t wear a wig. Paint your bald spot? I don’t know what you’re talking about. Okay, (I don’t wear a wig) let’s not go there. Let’s not, let’s not take something that was funny and just ruin it.”

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Luke and Andrew: “But a couple of weeks ago, Pappo went radio silent. Is Pappo related to Bear?”

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Luke and Andrew: “I don’t think Pappo is gonna be at the coconut factory! Who are you interviewing? We don’t even know! Son of Pappo. Son of Pappo. Son of a Pappo, neither me or the producer speak passable Spanish, Andrew. Oh, no.”

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Luke and Andrew: “If you’re hearing this on Wednesday, you are a time traveler. (Mmm-hmm) And, we all worship you as a god living on this planet; because, you shouldn’t be hearing this show on Wednesday.”

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Luke and Andrew: “It’s good news for Hayes. Yes. Bad news for Walshski.”

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Luke and Andrew: “Thank you from the bottom of our hearts… Say it! (We really appreciate it) Say it! You heard, (You wanna say it) you heard me considering it. Say it! Thank you from the Steve Bartman from our hearts.”

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Luke and Andrew: “We will be back here tomorrow with more imaginary radio. By that time, in the space-time continuum of this program, I will have been to Cuba with Dave Ross over six times. You didn’t tell me about this! Well, I’ve learned that I shouldn’t over promise on Cuba, as it relates to you.”

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Luke: “…And me”

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Luke: “But, wouldn’t it be extra the worst?”

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Luke: Chuckling

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Luke: Chuckling #2

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Luke: “God, I love our cameraman”

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Luke: “I’m sure we’ll get every single part of it exactly right”

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Luke: “It’s the guy from the thing!”

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Luke: Making a sound of a light going out

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Luke: Making mouth sounds

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Luke: “New York City!?”

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Luke: “Now I get it, Andrew. I’m woke!”

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Luke: October 22nd is now a Live Wire national holiday

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Luke: “Perfect time to thank our Bembe Bakra level donors of the day”

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Luke: Saying “He has his cake… and he eats it too” as the Most Interesting Man in the World

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Luke: Saying “Stay thirsty, my friends” as the Most Interesting Man in the World

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Luke: Snickering

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Luke: Telling what happened when tried to do an interview while in a pool with a swim-up bar

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Luke: “Uh, yeah. Mos Def. Excuse me, Yasiin Bey.”

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Luke: “Well… it’s fine. It’s all fine.”

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Luke and Andrew: “How many shots do you think we used from the helicopter that was definitely not retained by the people I worked for. Umm, I’m gonna say… less than zero, more than negative one? Yes, negative one-half. You called it correctly. Zed. Oh, man.”

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Luke and Andrew: Luke explains that a Live Wire taping may not have been completely recorded and Andrew asks if they used more than one recording device

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Luke and Andrew: “Oh, I have a shirt on. Do you really? Yeah.”

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Luke and Andrew: Seattle, Walshington or The Other Walshington

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Luke and Andrew: “The files… have been found. How!??”

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Luke and Andrew: “Victoria is, it’s a, I believe (That would make sense, yeah) it’s, it’s a, I think it’s a thing in Australia”

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