Marsupial Gurgle

Andrew: “And, I had spent… some chunk of the afternoon… just smearing… duck shit directly into my hair”

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Andrew: “Are you kidding me? Are you still listening to this?”

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Andrew: “At least, not to my tongue”

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Andrew: “Do you wanna hear a really sad story about ducks?”

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Andrew: “Have you ever gotten that feeling; or, do you think I’m a nut boy?”

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Andrew: “How can this be?”

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Andrew: “How come every song is about… dogs getting sick!?”

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Andrew: “I can’t wait. I’m hungry now!”

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Andrew: “I don’t know. I don’t have a dog”

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Andrew: “I just killed it. I just stopped it there. I don’t even know if this is still the show or not”

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Andrew: “It creeps me out”

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Andrew: “It’s a cob, not a choice!”

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Andrew: Laughing

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Andrew: “Nothing worse than a slimy carrot”

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Andrew: “Oh, God! Yes!”

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Andrew: “Pre-packaged little carrot nubs”

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Andrew: “Rudy! Ru-dog”

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Andrew: “They’re actually baby corn! I am… I am… flummoxed!”

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Andrew: “We had ducks as a kid, too!”

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Andrew: “You know… don’t wanna brag”

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Andrew: “You won’t die, I promise”

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Andrew and Luke: “Dude, can I read something to you, from the Internet, that is (Please) blowing my brain?”

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Luke: “And, I keep… giving her… just to calm her down… Rudy, not Carey, that is”

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Luke: “And, so, she is not… happy with me”

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Luke: “Everything I know about cats, I learned from cartoons”

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Luke: “He derps forward by a foot”

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Luke: “I feel like she’s… she’s really Tiny Timming me right now; and, I’m scared”

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Luke: “I wish you could see… what’s happening here at the Burbank Springs Broadcast Center”

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Luke: “Rudy, don’t go in here! For the love of God”

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Luke: Saying “It’s not a tuber!” in a funny manner

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Luke: “That’s when you get into PB&J town”

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Luke: “This is where it happens… This cat is gonna be our mascot!”

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Luke: “What!?”

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Andrew: “Boy, we’re just going on some weird paths today”

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Andrew: “But, I… don’t know exactly… how I’m gonna get out of this jam. I guess you’re gotta tune in tomorrow”

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Andrew: “Look at this party animal!”

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Andrew: Making air horn sounds and saying “Remix!”

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Andrew: Quietly saying “Come here, Garfield. Come here”

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Andrew: Saying “It’s not a tumor” in a funny manner

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Andrew: “The cover of it looks like something that just got farted out of… like, MS Paint”

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Andrew: “This makes me want to watch this so bad!”

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Andrew: Whispering “I’m wearing socks in bed!”

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Andrew and Luke: “I miss (Dear God!) this all!”

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Andrew and Luke: “That would be, actually, very arty… And, weird. And, weird”

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Andrew and Luke: “This is the Hamster Dance song… I… am loving this”

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Luke: Doot-dooing the “Robin Hood” song

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Luke: “I don’t know why I have to weaponize everything”

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Luke: “If I was eating shit, I’m not grinning”

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Luke: “My house! My rules!”

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Luke: Saying “It’s not a tumor” in a funny Arnold Schwarzenegger-like manner

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Luke: Saying “It’s not a tumor” in a funny manner

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Luke: Saying “My name is Sue… How do you do?” in a funny, high-pitched voice

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Luke: Singing “Shake, shake, shake… shake, shake, shake… shake that hamster”

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Luke: Singing “That’s Robin Hood and Little John walking’ through the forest. Oo-de-lally, oo-de-lally, golly, what a day”

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Luke: “Well, I don’t care if they hear this”

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Luke and Andrew: “And, used… a sped-up hook from the Roger Miller song, ‘Whistle Stop’… (There you go. Look at the) ‘kay, that feels good… (golden ears on you!) That feels good to be validated”

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Luke and Andrew: “Do you have any other hamster stories you want to share with us before we wrap things up? Oh, do you wanna hear about our bad hamster? No, I’m just… kidding”

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Luke and Andrew: Luke saying “So, we’ll talk about that… and, whatever else pops into our little heads. Coming up in a moment. It’s TBTL. Don’t go anywhere” and Andrew snorting part way through

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Luke and Andrew: “Shit-eating grin is the grossest… (Yeah) It’s the gross–I’ve never understood the origin or why that would be… I can tell you one thing: if I was eating shit, I’m not grinning”

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Luke and Andrew: “Yeah. Because, you and I, share what’s called, ‘Stockholm Syndrome’ (Mmm-hmm)”

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Andrew: “Are you shitting me?”

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Andrew: “Don’t be a Buttinski”

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Andrew: “He wants to be, what I call, ‘thunder-shirted'”

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Andrew: “I did see something and say something”

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Andrew: “I did(n’t) have any working animals; they were all super lazy”

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Andrew: “I don’t love the things you’re saying either. You know what I mean?”

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Andrew: “It’s almost like a perfect storm of sneeriness”

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Andrew: Saying “The chicken was a baby!” in a funny manner

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Andrew: “That’s not cool, man!”

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Andrew: “Things got a little bit too close to real for me”

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Andrew: “This is supposed to be a special episode all about pets… and, I’m gonna take it just… one click realer here”

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Andrew: “This was a real mind-eff for me”

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Andrew: “Well, that about killed me!”

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Andrew: “You know, I can’t do that and play my video games at the same time, dude”

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Luke: “Go find someone else to message, weirdo!”

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Luke: “One, one thousand. Two, one thousand. Three, one thousand”

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Luke: “Peace!”

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Luke and Andrew: Luke and Andrew are moving further away from rather than going towards pet talk

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Andrew: “And, I’m on the record using words wrong… all the time”

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Andrew: “But… I also… solidly don’t give a shit”

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Andrew: “Holy shit!”

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Andrew: “I kinda don’t do, like… weird cheeses”

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Andrew: “I’m a goth, I like this. I’m a punk, I like this”

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Andrew: “I’m an adult now”

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Andrew: “Let’s just take this to Negative Town”

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Andrew: “Oh, yum!”

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Andrew: “Pardon me. My microphone was off”

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Andrew: Saying “Let’s go, mates!” in a semi-English accent

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Andrew: “Wait. What!?”

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Andrew: “We should open a weed store and call it, ‘Fine Young Cannabis'”

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Andrew: “You just salted me”

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Andrew: “You know, I’m in the habit of just kind of, like: waking up, whenever, Genevieve leaves for work, I stay in bed”

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Andrew and Luke: Andrew asks about the drop of him saying “It’s just too boring and long” that Luke played and Luke mentions Marsupial Gurgle

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Andrew and Luke: “Let’s just take this to Negative Town and talk shit (Oof!) about people”

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Andrew and Luke: “We live in a magical world, certainly. We really do”

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Luke: “And, I have now done that… Lord, have I done that”

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Luke: “At the top of episode two-thousand seven-hundred and fifty-four… in a collector’s series (Let the fun begin)” [ed: Nope]

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Luke: “But, I am… a total space cadet this morning. I got up and I just felt… loopy and weird”

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Luke: “Don’t take salt away from me”

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Luke: “I have realized this… I don’t trust myself… to design my own salad, anymore, at a place”

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Luke: “I’m… a little bit, I’m already regretting the decision to say this next thing; but…”

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Luke: “It tastes like Dorito. I’m getting a big hit of Dorito right now”

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Luke: “It’s been nice knowing you, listeners”

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Luke: Singing “Good thing… where have you gone?”

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Luke: “Throw the ball to Odell!!”

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Luke: “Well, this is just great!”

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Luke and Andrew: “I think this is the thong… the thong I’m thinking of. Okay”

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Luke and Andrew: “It’s nice to have my evil inside you for once (Goddamnit!)”

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Andrew: “Because, a little bit of social lubrication… not social lubrication, meaning booze”

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Andrew: “But, I’m not a good, quick napper”

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Andrew: “Do you have any thoughts on this while I click around?”

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Andrew: “Here are the tables, everybody. I like football”

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Andrew: “I flick all the wax off, and I stick it in my ear”

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Andrew: “It’s just too boring and long”

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Andrew: “Lemme ‘splain… There’s no time. Lemme sum up”

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Andrew: “That’s bunk science, bro!”

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Andrew: “What!?”

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Andrew: “What am I missing out on… when it comes to Gord’s gold?”

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Andrew: “What the shit!?”

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Andrew: “While we’re getting real personal here about doing our business”

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Andrew: “Yeah. Those things are little bastards”

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Andrew and Luke: “So, even when you talk about it… being shy, it doesn’t impact your performance. That surprises me. (No! It’s…) I am, I am… I don’t have a shy, I don’t have a shy sphincter… Oh, show title! Just kidding. Nobody write that down… Linh, write that down”

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Andrew and Luke: “‘The Wreck of the Edmund Fitzgerald’ is just… I mean, I know that’s what he’s most famous for; but… I can’t do that song… It’s just too boring or too long? It’s just too boring and long… I mean, they’re kind of part of the same deal. Linh! Please pull that audio… Let’s play that on the show all the time”

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Andrew and Luke: “What the shit!? What the damn shit?”

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Luke: “God bless it. I’m ancient!”

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Luke: “God, I need a long bar so bad!”

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Luke: “Just raw-dogging… through the world… on a shuttle bus”

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Luke: “Life is full of weird contradictions, people”

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Luke: Making a theremin-like sound

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Luke: “Other people are probably not… as messed up as I am”

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Luke: “This is insane!”

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Luke: “Yeah. People are happier when they have a shitload of dough”

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Luke and Andrew: “Like, Andrew going number two with a long line at Starbucks… it… these things took longer than they should have… but, they will get there… and, they… (And, let’s face it) will be beautiful (some of them will stink)”

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