Audio Clips

Clips From TBTL #1936

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Luke: “And we’re going to bring you all the news that’s fit to podcast”

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Luke: “Anyone who I believe to be an actual human being, with hopes and dreams. The hopes, apparently, and dreams being to be Facebook friends with me.”

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Luke: “But it’s definitely zigging when everything else is zigging.”

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Luke: “Ernest Borgnine is somewhere, pleasuring himself”

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Luke: “I made like a small curtain of hair that was hanging below a bobby pin. And then, I had my girlfriend at that time and my daughter carefully bobby pin it into the base of my head, and it was flawless.”

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Luke: “I’m like a kid who’s not cool, but who’s trying to pretend they’re cool. Like, I go like, ‘Oh no man, swear all you want. We use F word all the time, it’s pretty much the only thing we say.'”

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Luke: “If I wasn’t using up so much money on my cocaine habit, it would’ve been money for him to keep being the Infinite Guest blogger.”

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Luke: Laughing

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Luke: Luke recalling how his boss, back when he was a teen, said good bye on a good day

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Luke: “Stu-bot. Hey man!”

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Luke: “That was my adult film name when I dabbled in my early 20s. They called me Chestnut Thunder…”

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Luke: “That’s one more hour. Why don’t you make five louder? Umm, this one goes to six.”

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Luke and Steve Neuman: Hip to be Square

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Luke and Steve Neuman: “It was the same summer that I had gotten somebody pregnant but nobody knew about it. Except the other person who was the person that was pregnant. She was fairly up to speed on the situation, it turned out (Yes)”

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Luke and Steve Neuman: “Like shave an American flag into the nape of my neck hair. Oh my God.”

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Luke and Steve Neuman: Singing the “Segram’s Golden Wine Cooler” song from the ad with Bruce Willis

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Luke and Steve Neuman: “You know, I always think Andrew is being a baby when he says he can’t write stuff down. But now, I’m trying to write something down and talk, and it’s harder than I thought. It’s really hard to do!”

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Steve Neuman: “Might make some tacos later”

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Steve Neuman: “Oh my God”

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Steve Neuman: “Ooh, Charlie Sheen is in it!”

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Steve Neuman: “Well you know, when you’re unemployed, Luke, every day is your weekend.”

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Steve Neuman and Luke: “Did it have a funky name? Oh, I’m sure. Like Chestnut Thunder. Right, right.”

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Steve Neuman and Luke: “I’m just going to start reading off the list of all of the actors and actresses in it… Oh, I see, I see you’ve heard this show before. Yes… Ooh, Charlie Sheen is in it!”

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Steve Neuman and Luke: Possible show title: Timescape

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Steve Neuman and Luke: “Twins.com, which is owned by these two Barney Rubble looking motherfuckers. Oh my God!”

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Audio Clips

Clips From TBTL #1935

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With Andrew making his trek to Ohio, Luke brought Jesse Case of the Jesse vs Cancer podcast to be a guest on the show.

Jesse Case: And kind of danger makes people horny

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Jesse Case: “I want it to be legitimate. I don’t want any pity hand jobs, I don’t want any pity laughter.”

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Jesse Case: Philosophically, everything about cancer is fucking awesome

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Jesse Case: “Pity laughter scares the show out of me”

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Jesse Case and Luke: Pro-tip about bringing lube to a prostate exam

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Jesse Case and Luke: “What they do, the way they get rid of colon tumors is they actually tie a string around it and the other end to a door knob. And then… Just like how my granddad used to pull my mom’s teeth out when they were loose.”

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Luke: “And his name is… I have it right here, wait for it… don’t go anywhere. His name is…”

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Luke: “And then she writes, ‘Soli Deo Gloria’, which, I think, means ‘I still love the show, even though a lot of what you say is offensive to me’… in Latin.”

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Luke: “Andrew is out today and tomorrow. He is traveling to the Walsh ancestral estate in the Frisbee belt of Cleveland, Ohio.”

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Luke: “Gassing up in Bismarck, North Dakota, a surprising hip town filled with surprisingly attractive people. No offense to Bismarck, I just didn’t know going in that you were going to have such attractive men and women working at your local Starbucks.”

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Luke: “I wish I could have told my, my pores on my face during high school to relax about the small amount of bacteria that’s building up in my sebum glands. I mean, that was, pretty much ruled my life, my terrible skin.”

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Luke: Luke describes using egg whites as a home remedy for curing bad acne

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Audio Clips

Clips From TBTL #1934

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Andrew: “And then my phone rang and it was another kind of rando number, and I’m like ‘Oh, please be the scammer. I’m so bored!’ Like, this will be fun.”

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Andrew: “Boy… Buckle up for some inarticulateness here.”

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Andrew: Laughing

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Andrew: Luke seems to be providing advice to the Windows support scammers

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Andrew: “Number one, he’s talking out of his butt.”

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Andrew: “Ohh!”

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Andrew: “Sorry… I’m just… it’s hard to talk about religion.”

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Andrew: “Talk about selling the sizzle.”

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Andrew: “Tell the story again, Luke.”

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Andrew: “Wah-wah, bom bom bom bom”

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Andrew and Luke: “Credibility Gap” is the nickname for Luke’s tooth gap

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Andrew and Luke: Andrew makes Luke tell his speaking gig story every year

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Andrew and Luke: Being reasonable in unreasonable times

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Andrew and Luke: “Boy… Buckle up for some inarticulateness here, because I have something (Possible show title) that’s bouncing around my head.”

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Andrew and Luke: “Just kind of grunt a hello. [Grunts]”

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Andrew and Luke: Laughing and saying “I know. I know.” while Luke was talking

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Andrew and Luke: Luke role playing as a Windows support scam supervisor

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Andrew and Luke: Possible Danish Price Is Right Sad Horns

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Luke: “Aww, man.”

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Luke: Grunting

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Luke: “I gotta give it up to that guy. I think that is some funny ass shit he’s saying.”

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Luke: “It’s one thing for them to want to funk with McDonald’s.”

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Luke: “Mmm-hmm. Mmm-hmm.”

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Luke: Stifled Laugh

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Luke and Andrew: Andrew laughing to Luke saying “Good luck!”

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Luke and Andrew: “Hustlerstil. That was me that part. Really?!? Yeah.”

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Luke and Andrew: “I dunna. I dunna.”

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Luke and Andrew: “I’m just fascinated with the term ‘senpai’. (Yeah…) Notice me senpai, notice me.”

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Luke and Andrew: Luke chose to use “funk” instead of the F word

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Luke and Andrew: Luke reminiscing about the McDLT

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Luke and Andrew: Luke tried to make a Kardashian reference that didn’t work out

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Luke and Andrew: Pronouncing “Tomato, tomato.”

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Luke and Andrew: Pronunciation of the last name “Rohm”

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Luke and Andrew: “Satan is also referred to as the ‘prince of the power of the air’. Which is, like, a fantastic DJ name. It’s so wasted on the devil.”

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Luke and Andrew: “I’m fine. You’re the one who had a heart attack during the show a couple weeks ago and didn’t say anything about it. I said something about it, it was after I survived the heart attack; which is, exactly when a real man, no I’m just joking…”

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Audio Clips

Luke Recites Lyrics from Digital Underground’s “Way We Sing”

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Before getting to the actual audio clip of Luke reciting some of the lyrics of Digital Underground’s “Way We Sing” from memory, I wanted to call out what happened right after that.

Once Luke got to the point where he thought he may have missed a section of the song, Andrew piped in to say the following:

Andrew and Luke: “The important thing is, you gave Linh Pham something to do this afternoon. That will be on Marsupial Gurgle.”

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What I loved the most out of that was Luke’s laugh and Andrew saying “That will be on Marsupial Gurgle.”

Luke: Laughing

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Andrew: “That will be on Marsupial Gurgle.”

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Anyway… without further adieu, here’s the clip of Luke reciting the lyrics with and without Andrew’s commentary.

Luke: Reciting lyrics from Digital Underground’s “Way We Swing”

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Luke and Andrew: Luke reciting of Digital Underground’s “Way We Sing” will be on Marsupial Gurgle

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Audio Clips

Clips From TBTL #1933

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Andrew: “And, so I picked up and I was like ‘Hello’, I was like ‘Hello’, and then I was ‘Hello!’. And I just kept on saying it more and more goofy until they heard me.”

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Andrew: “Ask your doctor about Hydrox”

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Andrew: “Heh-heh”

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Andrew: “I graduated!”

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Andrew: “I hope there’s words”

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Andrew: “I’m sorry, Luke. I’m sorry!”

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Andrew: Laughing and saying “Have you ever done this before?”

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Andrew: Reacting to Luke talking about his foot issue with “Oh God!”

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Andrew: Screaming “Two Bits!”

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Andrew: Short Laugh

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Andrew: Snorting

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Andrew: Snorting #2

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Andrew: “Thank you and congratulations and I’m sorry.”

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Andrew: “The good news is, the bow on the story is, it turns out, I am more annoying than Internet scammers because he hung up on me first. So, why are you guys listening to this show?”

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Andrew: “This is Luke Burbank’s ‘One To Watch’.”

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Andrew: “Yello!!!”

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Andrew: “You know, it’s difficult… difficult lemon difficult…”

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Andrew and Luke: Andrew couldn’t believe that they were already 45 minutes into the show

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Andrew and Luke: Andrew plays something he thought had spoken words but didn’t

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Andrew and Luke: Appropriate words to say towards the end of a TBTL podcast

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Andrew and Luke: “Are you mad at me for sneaking a dream into Keys to the Show, those are supposed to be different segments? No.”

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Andrew and Luke: “I’m kind of known as the Jim Cramer of broadcasting (Right). Mega booyas. Mega booyas.”

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Andrew and Luke: “Together, we’re like the Freakonomics of podcasting (Uh-huh).”

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Luke: “Although, you do sound like your being pretty annoying.”

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Luke: “But that movie suffers from, what I call, ‘Three Boob Syndrome'”

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Luke: Chuckling

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Luke: “Cuz we’ve already, you know, blown the seal on this show.”

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Luke: Fighting with eggs

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Luke: “I have this watch, one of these activity watches. Not to be confused with an Activia watch, which helps you poop.”

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Luke: Laughing

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Luke: Little sound bit played while Luke was talking

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Luke: “Luke Burbank. Luke, we are your father!”

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Luke: Mouth sound made while trying to think of a correct answer

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Luke: “She just sat up, by the way, when I said her name. Sorry buddy, I’m not your biological father. This conversation is long overdue.”

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Luke and Andrew: Andrew kept on getting more annoying to the scammer

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Luke and Andrew: Andrew played a snoring drop when Luke was starting to talk about his dreams

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Luke and Andrew: Both are having a little too much fun with a TBTL supporter’s name

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Luke and Andrew: “By the way, possible show title: Freakonomics, hold the nomics. That was not good. (I’m writing it down.) That was not a good joke and I apologize.”

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Luke and Andrew: Hydrox Cookies

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Luke and Andrew: “I got an e-mail from a beautiful young lady, she said ‘Hi BB, I want you touch my breasts. Use Facebook much?’ And then it had a link and, you know, the rest they say is history. That was actually me.”

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Luke and Andrew: Luke reading the tagline for “Who Framed Roger Rabbit?” in the voice of Don LaFontaine

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Luke and Andrew: Luke thought he was going to get Donovan-rolled by Andrew

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Luke and Andrew: “Roger Rabbit should be called… Bob Hoskins kills it! That’s right, it should be called ‘A Bob Hoskins Master Class’.”

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Luke and Andrew: “You could’ve gotten away with that too, I mean, if it weren’t for those nosy kids… (Yeah) called me.”

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Audio Clips

Clips From TBTL #1932

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Andrew: “Good joke.”

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Andrew: “I held Steve Nelson. I mean, think about that. I held Steve Nelson on Wednesday.”

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Andrew: “I was kind of flipping my shit out.”

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Andrew: “It is like, it is, it is, digital Fort Knox, man.”

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Andrew: “Oh, ha ha ha ha! Right.”

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Andrew and Luke: Andrew thinks Luke has incredible balance

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Andrew and Luke: “Hey, that reminds me of a joke. How do you make holy water? How? You take regular water and beat the hell out of… or, boil the hell out of it. Good joke.”

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Andrew and Luke: Luke laughing to Andrew saying “Thank you”

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Andrew and Luke: “Maybe I should get a pair of rollerblades. Would that be crazy if I got rollerblades? Not necessarily crazy”

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Andrew and Luke: “One of the things that Steve did mention in my review is that I should remember, umm (What it’s actually called), words, words. He doesn’t want me to say ‘ahh’ anymore.”

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Andrew and Luke: “So my password is: Must kill Luke, two one five. Umm, which I should change (Mrs. Brian Hoyer).”

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Andrew and Luke: “They’re the ‘P’ in VPN. They’re the people (Yes! That’s right!)… in there… I think. And we’re the ‘N’, not obeying the rules. Not obeying the rules, not thriving frankly, not thriving.”

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Andrew and Luke: “To me, it’s still impressive because, big fucking magnets. How do they work? Still a mystery.”

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Luke: “Gotta keep them guessing, bro.”

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Luke: “He looks like a real dingus”

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Luke: “Hey everybody! My name is Luke Burbank, I am your host known far and wide as the ‘Nice Cube’ of podcasting.”

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Luke: “Just for the folks at home who cared about this, which would be probably zero of you, Rocky is not based on a true story.”

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Luke: “Like, he’s just dafuq-ing his way through life”

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Luke: “You just watch a wave of people, every group he goes past turns and looks at him, like dafuq?”

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Luke and Andrew: “And the quarterback is toast. You’ve hacked into the mainframe.”

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Luke and Andrew: Audio from a site that Andrew was visiting abruptly played

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Luke and Andrew: “It’s bird on your shoulder, ferret in your pocket. Possible show title (Good).”

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Luke and Andrew: “Let me just mention the Statue of Liberty play was invented by Rocky Balboa, for anyone who is just curious about that. Was a real football coach (So he was a real guy, I knew it).”

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Luke and Andrew: Luke laughs and talks like Tommy Wiseau

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Luke and Andrew: Luke saying “Ho-ho-ho-ho-ho, my God in Heaven.” while Andrew is talking

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Luke and Andrew: “Steve Nelson peed on my arm, ever so slightly. That’s not a joke (Did Nelson really do that?). Not a joke.”

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Luke and Andrew: The end of the El Ropo theme is actually Luke’s password

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Luke and Andrew: “There is also a chance that I will get stung by multiple bees during the broadcast; which, I think (Mmm, that’s good) introduces an element of danger. I like it.”

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