Tag: Andrew Walsh

Audio Clips

Clips From TBTL #2530: No Point Conversion Edition

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Andrew: “All y’all”

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Andrew: “And, I know I’m gonna get the details wrong on this”

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Andrew: Andrew wanted to take things out and watch the world burn after the Browns lost against the Packers

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Andrew: “Are you kidding me?”

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Andrew: “Aww… where’s my cookie?”

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Andrew: “I just didn’t need that”

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Andrew: “I was really angry at the Browns yesterday”

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Andrew: “I’d… I’d know how to take a fucking Browns loss in stride”

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Andrew: “I’ve never rooted so hard for another team in my life”

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Andrew: “Nasty!”

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Andrew: “Oh my God… what a bonehead”

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Andrew: “Only time I run is when I run to get another pizza!”

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Andrew: Saying “Bye” in a funny manner

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Andrew: Snorting Quietly

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Andrew: “Talk about getting nasty”

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Andrew: Thinking Sound

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Andrew: “This is the best moment in No Point Conversion history… Do tell. What’s happening over there?”

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Andrew and Carey Burbank: Andrew trying to weasel his way out of the discussion about Luke’s butt, citing HR

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Andrew and Carey Burbank: “Happy birthday, Carey. Oh, thanks, Andrew! Yeah”

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Andrew and Luke: “Okay, look at me. I got all the details right… You did! Aww… where’s my cookie?”

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Andrew, Luke and Carey Burbank: “Is that Carey from the basement? It’s Carey from the side room. Don’t get it twisted, Andrew. (Hey Carey from the side room) That’s David.”

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Carey Burbank: “Having a hard time taking you seriously with… your legs crossed, with those pants on… right now”

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Carey Burbank: “My brain is bad”

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Carey Burbank: Saying “Just so you know, like, I–I don’t… I’m not gonna make this whole day… about… football watching or, you know, the Seahawks” as Luke

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Carey Burbank: Snorting

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Carey Burbank and Luke: Laughing

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Carey Burbank and Luke: “Looking is free. Touching will cost ya. That’s right”

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Carey Burbank, Andrew and Luke: “You’re still way more intense than… anyone else I’ve ever watched sports with. Can I jump in (Maybe, I’m just better at it) here for a second? You’re such an asshole”

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Carey Burbank, Luke and Andrew: “Just so you know, like, I–I don’t… I’m not gonna make this whole day… about… football watching or, you know, the Seahawks. That’s how I sound like? Yes. Dead on. Wait, who’s talking right now?”

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Carey Burbank, Luke and Andrew: “Well, first of all, we were celebrating my birthday… That is a good point. (early.) Happy birthday. And, you had said… Thanks… it’s not actually ’til Sunday, but thanks. I probably won’t remember on Sunday; so, can we… accept this one? Yes. Thank you.”

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Luke: “Actually, honestly, my legs and my butt are the only parts of my body that I don’t actively loathe”

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Luke: “And, Michael Bennett, who I, kind of, think is a dingus”

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Luke: “Can we… can, can… can… like, we have a picture… of my firm, firm apple… in these beautiful ballet running pants… as the show pic today, I think is the real question”

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Luke: Cute Chuckle

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Luke: “Holy shit! This is happening!”

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Luke: “I think I have a cute butt!”

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Luke: “Rank my butt”

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Luke: “Well, here’s the thing”

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Luke and Andrew: “Like… what David said this morning… David… DTFB… Mmm-hmm. David from the basement”

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Luke and Carey Burbank: Chuckling

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Luke and Carey Burbank: Luke has a cute butt and wants Carey to rate his butt

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Luke, Carey Burbank and Andrew: Luke is wearing stretchy pants and has his legs crossed; and, Carey thinks he looks ridiculous

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Audio Clips

Clips From TBTL #2530

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Andrew: “And, I promise you, I’m not butthurt about this”

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Andrew: “And, listen, nobody likes seeing roadkill… well, I guess some people do… Dahmer!”

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Andrew: “But, wow! Am I glad Genevieve doesn’t ask me to do this. Well, she probably would; if, she knew I wasn’t such a pain in the ass”

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Andrew: Cute Laugh

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Andrew: “Did I say wife? I meant sister”

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Andrew: “Everybody look at me and my crazy retro pants I’m walking in here”

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Andrew: “Hey… I was acquitted!”

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Andrew: “How ya doing!?”

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Andrew: “Hunh… that surprises me”

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Andrew: “I cracked myself up with that one”

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Andrew: “I don’t care what you do”

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Andrew: “I don’t know why you gotta bring robots into this; but, whatever”

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Andrew: “Is there a word for somebody who is a vegetarian when they’re sober?”

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Andrew: Saying the TBTL voicemail line number while simulating cutting in and out

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Andrew: “Thank you for such a kind, kind introduction, Luke”

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Andrew: “That sounds like my… worst… nightmare. That combines so many things that makes me, that make me uncomfortable. It is… it is upsetting to even hear about”

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Andrew: “Well, whatever”

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Andrew: “Well, who are we?”

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Andrew: “Yeah, I don’t know. When I say you should, I don’t mean that in a finger-waggy way”

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Andrew: “You’re Burbank and Walsh!”

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Andrew and Luke: “Yeah, I still this have this [sic] vague (No) feeling that what I said was shitty”

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Andrew and Luke: “You know who got me to like purple, Luke? Hmm. The Joker”

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Luke: Chuckling

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Luke: Cute Laugh

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Luke: “God help me”

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Luke: “Harness the power of my dislike for prosciutto”

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Luke: “Here’s the thing with purple”

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Luke: “I am… the biggest hypocrite of all time”

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Luke: “I was the one who said it”

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Luke: “I’m in a kind of a… I’m in a little bit of a… a confused state right now”

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Luke: “I’ve been called worse!!!”

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Luke: “Look out, hot dog! There’s a new food product that we like to talk about endlessly.”

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Luke: “Peace and love”

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Luke: Saying “Ha-ha-ha… Because, ha-ha… Oh hi, Donny” as Tommy Wiseau

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Luke: “That’s… insane!”

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Luke: “This is so bad, by the way”

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Luke: “You ready, Rudy? Wait! She’s down the hall… Well, she’ll make it in here at some point”

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Luke and Andrew: Luke saying “Yeah, now I need to take that break. Alright… quick break. When we come back, I’ll wrap up this… fascinating, fascinating ham story. Look out, hot dog! There’s a new food product that we like to talk about endlessly.” and Andrew laughing

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Luke and Andrew: Making a callback, and a jab, at my request to play “In The Year 2525” on last week’s show

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Luke and Andrew: “We’ve got a No Point Conversion coming up… in just a moment… all of you, other than Linh Pham… Noted enemy of the TBTL No Point Conversion (Just lighten up, Linh!) God! That’s a good show title (‘Lighten up, Linh’)”

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Audio Clips

Clips From TBTL #2529

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Andrew: “And, apparently… he knows about TBTL!”

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Andrew: “And, I look like I am in a some sort of… cosplay for blue-collar America”

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Andrew: “Apologies for making… farty noises with my lips into the microphone there”

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Andrew: “Cuz, I’m pretty schlubby when I leave the house anyway”

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Andrew: “Get me inside my public radio bubble… stat!”

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Andrew: “Hand-clappy, but not boot-stompy”

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Andrew: “Here’s a story that won’t pay off”

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Andrew: “Hey, Luke. Is it too early, I’m not gonna say, ‘for a fish sandwich'”

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Andrew: “I don’t know if this is super interesting; but, I just wanted to tell you. So, I figured I’d might as well tell you on mic; because, it’s interesting to me, dammit”

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Andrew: “I’m so sorry for what I’m about to do”

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Andrew: Laughing

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Andrew: “Or… whatever”

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Andrew: Quiet “Ding!”

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Andrew: Snorting

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Andrew: “Yeah, that’s hand-clappy and boot-stompy”

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Andrew: “Yeah!! Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah!”

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Andrew and Luke: “Alright, I won’t read the whole thing. Please, don’t. I’ll be mortified”

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Andrew and Luke: “Can I ask you a question? Yes. Why don’t you just write it on the back of your hands, like I do”

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Andrew and Luke: “Dude, there’s a Trans Am that’s cyberbullying me right now. To within an inch of your life! You know those Trans Ams grew up to be cyberbullies. Of course!”

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Andrew and Luke: “Everybody’s got some sort of… dumbass web-azine, like… You know we’re a borderline dumbass web-azine. I know, but we don’t prank people!”

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Andrew and Luke: “I have an update… do you want me to hold it? Hold the update”

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Andrew and Luke: “You could’ve borrowed the human blanket… you’re in town… You know how we have the cat blanket and the human blanket? Oh, God! I thought your new nickname for yourself was ‘The Human Blanket'”

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Listeners: Listeners leaving voicemail messages

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Luke: “And… I know this is, like, the height of laziness”

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Luke: “Any vaguely white blob”

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Luke: “Happy to report: I didn’t cry”

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Luke: “I gotta dance with what brung me… and, and, rampant insecurity is what brung me”

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Luke: “I think you’re meowing up the wrong cat condo”

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Luke: “My chin is like an isosceles triangle”

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Luke: “My tootsies were freezin’. My nose was freezin’; and, also, my hands was freezin'”

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Luke: “One bro… bro-ing it up”

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Luke: Singing the McDonald’s jingle and saying “You’re likin’ it”

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Luke: “The greatest hits… from the 20s, 30s… 40s, 50s, and 70s… and Genesis!”

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Luke: “This is gonna be one of those shows that’s either going to be magical or tragical… as far as my contribution goes”

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Luke: “We are going to record… just a… a bushelful… of TBTL… holiday spesh… An entire week of holiday spesh”

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Luke: “Well, I’m doing two things that are kinda cheaty”

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Luke and Andrew: “My theory is that Jerky Boys sold one cassette tape… And, everybody taped it? And then, everybody else in America was working off of a dub of a dub of a dub of a dub”

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Luke and Andrew: “What would Andrew Walsh’s… finishing move; would it be called, ‘The Apology’? Yes, it would! I’m so sorry for what I’m about to do”

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Audio Clips

Clips From TBTL #2528

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Andrew: “Are you feeling more… more present today… or whatever?”

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Andrew: Beeping along with the Doogie Howser, M.D. theme

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Andrew: “Boy… boy am I a dork”

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Andrew: “Can you give us a briefy?”

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Andrew: Chuckling

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Andrew: “Don’t force that joke, Luke”

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Andrew: “Fork, I’m home!”

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Andrew: Funny, drawn out “What?”

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Andrew: “‘Hey, I listen to your show!’ …Thanks”

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Andrew: “I haven’t effed anything up yet”

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Andrew: “I think… now that I’m saying it out loud… that my dad might have been involved… with some Russian spies”

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Andrew: “I took a sip of orange juice today… Yes, right from the… the bottle. Don’t tell Genevieve”

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Andrew: “I’m getting broken again, Luke. I’m getting broken again!”

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Andrew: “Inapropes”

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Andrew: “Let’s keep it Christian”

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Andrew: “Lucy, I’m home, baby!”

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Andrew: “Lucy, I’m home!!”

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Andrew: “Lucy… I’m home”

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Andrew: “Luke, I am your father”

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Andrew: “Oh, no. No, no, no. No!”

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Andrew: Singing “Hello, Burbank. I said hello”

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Andrew: “That was my imitation of Seinfeld. See, I do imitations too, by the way”

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Andrew: “Wow, you never know… I… literally never know what’s gonna come out of my face… when I start the show with you”

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Andrew: “You don’t even know all of the lyrics to ‘The Soft Parade’. You don’t even know if the monk bought lunch!! Are you kidding me!?”

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Andrew: “You’re gonna get the Yelp! review of a lifetime!!!”

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Andrew and Luke: “Like, in what universe did Papa Bear meet Mama Bear? (Like, in a…) Law enforcement conference?”

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Andrew and Luke: “Okay, I got… let’s do two more quickies, okay? Are you okay on time? Yeah”

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Luke: “Actually, I think I’m wrong about that”

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Luke: “Because, the actual… receipt was trapped inside the Avis… web underneath… upside-down… underworld… underdog, whatever you call it”

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Luke: “Everything in moderation, including moderation”

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Luke: “Everything is right… these days at Burbank Springs”

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Luke: “Fuck, this was a hill!?”

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Luke: “He is the longest running co-bro of the pro”

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Luke: “How is it gramamas always got money; they ain’t got no job”

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Luke: “I’m just gonna say it, okay? This is so mean to… to beautiful people in the world”

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Luke: “Interesante”

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Luke: “Like, I just say this whole dribble-drabble about you”

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Luke: “Lucy, you go’ some ‘splainin’ a-do”

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Luke: “No… I am your father!”

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Luke: “One of those regrettable breakfast decisions”

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Luke: “Please don’t let this lead to a porno site when I search, ‘Berenstain Bears fingertips'”

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Luke: Saying “He told me enough! He told me you killed him!” as Luke Skywalker

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Luke: Saying “Hey, everybody, this is Luke Skywalker speaking… He told me enough… He told me you killed him” as a pilot over a PA system

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Luke: Saying “I dunno why I said that” in a gruff manner

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Luke: Saying “Live Wire” in a funny manner

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Luke: Saying “Oh hi, Tommy” as Tommy Wiseau

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Luke: Singing “Skipping on those nightshades”

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Luke: “This is making our Star Wars aficionados insane”

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Luke and Andrew: “By the way… they’ll confiscate my Rudy guns from my cold, dead hands. It’s in the Constitution!”

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Luke and Andrew: “New York Jersey!? New York Jersey?”

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Audio Clips

Clips From TBTL #2527

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Andrew: “And, people… use those bathrooms, man!”

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Andrew: “Ha!!!”

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Andrew: “Hello, Luke! This meat tent… is just for one, I’m afraid”

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Andrew: “Hey, no sound effect? No e-mail”

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Andrew: “I am gonna answer this question… because, I’m gonna be, ‘Yes, and'”

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Andrew: “I didn’t know what a virgin was”

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Andrew: “I will do anything… for a middle seat… but, I won’t do that”

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Andrew: “It could have been years and years and years ago; but, everybody wants to avoid the shit pit”

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Andrew: “It’s my tonight meat tent”

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Andrew: Laughing

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Andrew: Laughing #2

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Andrew: “Maybe I’m just scared of the word, ‘massage'”

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Andrew: “Oh, crap”

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Andrew: “Okay, that’s all boring”

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Andrew: “Really?”

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Andrew: Sighing and saying “I don’t know, man” in a dejected manner

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Andrew: Singing “Chrome River” and saying “Sorry, go ahead. Sorry”

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Andrew: Singing “I can’t dance. I can’t walk”

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Andrew: Snorting

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Andrew: Snorting #2

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Andrew: “That came out like I was busting your balls”

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Andrew: “There’s a special way of handling Lukes and Andrews”

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Andrew: “They just want to make sure everything’s cool with the cool cat”

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Andrew: “Yeah, I dunno”

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Andrew: “Yeah!!!”

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Andrew and Luke: Andrew saying “You are an entertainer” and Luke Laughing

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Andrew and Luke: Andrew singing “Chrome River” and Luke saying “I shit you not”

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Luke: “And, the spell… is broken”

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Luke: “Hey, look, it’s me from ten years ago!”

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Luke: “I wanna quit while I’m ahead”

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Luke: “I… borrowed-slash-probably stole… in that I borrowed, but didn’t ask”

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Luke: “I’ll be honest with you”

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Luke: “I’m asking myself, ‘Do they hate me? Are they annoyed with me?'”

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Luke: “I’m such a dingus!”

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Luke: Laughing

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Luke: “Let’s… three-sink–three-sixty slam… dunk… the boringness on this show”

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Luke: “North of a Chrome River, south of a firmware”

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Luke: Saying “Delta Airlines, Boeing 757-200… Registration N727TW… Performing flight DL453, New York JFK, New York to Seattle, Washington, USA” as a pilot over a PA system

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Luke: “Wait. What!?!”

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Luke: “We’re really sorry. We’re having… some problems with the… firmware… in the john”

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Luke: “Yeah, right”

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Luke: “You ready, doggins? Sorry, I didn’t mean to wake you. Sorry I’m intruding on your sleep”

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Luke and Andrew: “By the way… sorry, this is… this is… Awful?”

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Audio Clips

Clips From TBTL #2526

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Andrew: “And, you broke your glasses!”

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Andrew: “But, first… I have a very serious question”

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Andrew: “But, you gotta get in there!”

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Andrew: “Cacao!!!”

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Andrew: “Did, did I just say something inappropriate?”

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Andrew: Drawn out “Oh, man!”

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Andrew: Drawn out “Oh, wow”

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Andrew: “God, again, you are just an idea machine today!”

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Andrew: “God, you just want to watch the world burn, don’t you?”

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Andrew: “How is that even possible? How is that even possible!?”

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Andrew: “Huh”

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Andrew: “I’m proud of ya, buddy. That was a good commercial”

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Andrew: “It’s a ‘Sigh Reel’… because, it makes me sigh when I listen to it”

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Andrew: Laughing and saying “I am not… a… dummy!”

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Andrew: “No, you probably can’t hear it; but… my stomach is literally gurgling… right now”

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Andrew: “No!!”

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Andrew: “No… not a but”

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Andrew: “Oh, no!”

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Andrew: “Rolling fart locker”

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Andrew: Singing “Yo, yo, yo”

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Andrew: Snorting

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Andrew: Snorting #2

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Andrew: “That doesn’t even make sense!”

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Andrew: “That was a funny joke”

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Andrew: “Too Hot For TBTL”

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Andrew: “We recorded for three hours… and forty seconds… and, we still didn’t get to the Top Stories? How is that even possible? How is that even possible!? What do we have to do to get to Top Stories!?”

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Andrew: “Wha’ happened?”

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Andrew: “What do we have to do to get to Top Stories!?”

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Andrew: “Why!?”

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Andrew and Luke: “Can you hear the… (What?) the noises that my stomach is making right now?”

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Andrew and Luke: “Did he just say the F word? Or, does everything just sound dirty (I dunno) when I play it on TBTL; cuz, I’m worried about offending people”

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Andrew and Luke: “What are we doing, Burbank? What are we doing? (I don’t know, man)”

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Luke: “And, I don’t know what… the… flip… they’re talking about”

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Luke: “And, we’ve got this guy: the longest running co-bro of the show”

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Luke: Cute Laugh

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Luke: “I can update people on my grind, as if anybody cares”

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Luke: “I don’t mean to be a tease”

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Luke: “I thought you were pouring gasoline on my… hilarity fire”

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Luke: “I’m not Donald… Trump”

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Luke: “I’ve got issue with one Alex Trebek”

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Luke: “Implosion, smin-plosion”

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Luke: Laughing

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Luke: “Of all of the annoying things I do on the show, and say; and, there’s so many”

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Luke: “Oh, yeah! Forgot about that”

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Luke: “Step back… LA Weekly shadow ownership!”

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Luke: “That was the hint I left for future Burbank… and… future Burbank had no idea what past Burbank was talking about”

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Luke: “When you pull one out”

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Luke and Andrew: “And, we can explain, for once and for all, Linh Pham’s real feelings about the No Point Conversion. It will… shock you. I mean, shock you. And, since he’s stopped listening… we can talk about it frankly”

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Luke and Andrew: “Cacao. Cacao!!!”

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Luke and Andrew: “They were trying to say… I was drunk… (I knew it!) last night. I had one vodka soda… that was it”

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Luke and Andrew: “This is a, kind of a… lousy deal for me; but, alright (Mmm-hmm)”

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