Clips From TBTL #2665

Andrew: Andrew’s face becomes a dour or grumpy, bearded face when he gets nervous and doesn’t think about his face

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Andrew: “Before… my regrettable Bukowski days”

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Andrew: “Heh. People are gonna laugh at me”

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Andrew: “I don’t know, man… I, I wanna, I wanna get to Mississippi alive; but, I also don’t wanna be, like, ‘Well, we tried. We hitchhiked twenty miles; and, now, rain came… and, so, we rented a car. And, we drove to Mississippi.’ That doesn’t seem right”

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Andrew: “I got a sucker!”

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Andrew: “It’s a dour, fricking face, man. It is a, it is a grumpy, bearded face”

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Andrew: “It’s sexy!”

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Andrew: Making jazz trumpet sounds

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Andrew: “Wait, wait. Nobody’s gonna pick up a trollish looking guy whose grimacing at them through his steamy glasses”

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Andrew: “We are going to stink that bus up!”

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Andrew: “We can stay at the… Pink Eye Express”

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Andrew: “We still have to rough it a little bit”

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Andrew: “You know what the funny thing is? It’s not funny”

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Andrew and Kristina Lopez: “Mark Twain’s great; but… are there any other workaholic actors who were born there? Unfortunately, no. There are not any other workaholic actors”

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Andrew and Luke: “Enough about them! Back to us. Thank you”

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Andrew and Luke: “Hey, there are hitchhikers ahead… and, I’m feeling… I’m feeling ballsy… TBTL!”

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Andrew and Luke: It’s not a road trip if Andrew doesn’t bring a lot of cased meats with him

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Kristina Lopez: “Alright. I’m ready”

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Kristina Lopez: Laughing and saying “Oh, man. Why?”

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Luke: “And, I also hope they have snacks… cuz, I’m starving. Like, what’s the food service on a–I mean, also, by the way… do they care that I’m Alaska Gold 75K?”

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Luke: “Because, we may actually be here in Waterloo for a long time. We’re not… quite… sure”

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Luke: “Digstown!? What are you talking about?”

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Luke: “Every once in a while… you go and do something and totally redeem yourself!”

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Luke: “Get in!”

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Luke: “God, I wish that was the first time you told me that”

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Luke: “Hey! Is this a thing?”

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Luke: “Hot wings and cold jazz”

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Luke: “I’ve never seen him more excited for anything… He is excited about this Greyhound bus ride”

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Luke: “Kiki… we asked you to be our travel advisor… not the voice of reason. That’s by far, by far and away, the most intelligent and… and useful thing… that’s been said on the show… maybe in years”

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Luke: “Please be open, please be open”

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Luke: “Rinsta… finsta and spam”

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Luke: Singing “TBTL!”

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Luke: “Speak for yourself, dirty hitchhiker”

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Luke: “That’s nuts!”

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Luke: “The heat was rough!”

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Luke: “This is… hardcore honeymoon town; and, we’re going, bro”

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Luke: “What!!?!”

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Luke: “Yes, Virginia… there is a Denver, Iowa”

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Luke and Andrew: “And, he’s got more problems than just the incoming flash flooding and lightning here in Iowa… (Oh… my… God. I have a sesame stick problem) He is Andrew Walsh; and, he is joins us now from… about… eight inches away. Hello, my dude… Hey, man… I was really hoping that drop would never see the light of day. I saw that Linh Pham had sent that to you; but… here we are”

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Luke and Andrew: “And, seriously, never do that again! Yeah… Peace and love”

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Luke and Andrew: “I’m just so privileged in my real life. I never have to be doing anything I don’t wanna be doing… or, be… physically super uncomfortable for very long at all. I always have an out. Mmm-hmm”

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Luke and Andrew: “Just drop us off anywhere along here… along one of these fields is fine. And, she’s like, ‘Okay.’ And, then, Andrew goes, ‘But, but somewhere where I can go to the bathroom.’ But, I didn’t mean, take me to a… a proper restroom. I just meant… if we could get away from the soybeans and just get into those bushes up ahead… God, I wish that was the first time you told me that”

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Luke and Andrew: Luke is late for almost everything but he draws the line at his own funeral

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Luke and Andrew: Luke saying “Put on a broadside ballad! Do you have… Flat Foot Floogie?!” and Andrew making jazz trumpet sounds

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Luke and Andrew: “Whoa!!!”

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Luke and Andrew: “Why must we suffer? Yeah; because, I think we said we were gonna suffer. I don’t know… Maybe, this is my Catholic upbringing”

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Clips From TBTL #2664: Part Two

Luke: “And, by the way… welcome to… Moms on the Net”

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Luke: “But, if I fire one off and it’s, kinda, going hot and heavy… which is, oddly sexual… for a tweet”

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Luke: “Dafuq”

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Luke: “Damn, this is hard!”

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Luke: “Do these snacks smell like chloroform? We call ’em a Henry bar. Sniff these”

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Luke: “Everything was coming up Stu!”

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Luke: “He’s Andrew (Ooooh!) Walsh”

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Luke: “Hold on to your butts”

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Luke: “I believe, that this… will be my financial Waterloo”

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Luke: “I’m a wannabe bouge”

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Luke: “I’m bougie adjacent”

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Luke: “I’m… I’m kinda riding dirty right now”

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Luke: “Is it Boo-roo Rey? [ph]

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Luke: Laughing

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Luke: “Oh, boy. Oh, boy. Oh, boy, everybody”

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Luke: “Oh, shit… Things are hard”

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Luke: “Ooh! Explicit”

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Luke: “People are thinking about a thing I did today”

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Luke: Singing “Gettysburg! That’s was a thing where Lincoln said important stuff”

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Luke: Singing “Old Man Tucker was a fine old man. Washed his pace–his face in a frying pan. Combed his hair with a wagon wheel. Died with a toothache in his heel”

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Luke: Singing “Who can say if Stu’s making that up”

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Luke: “That’s very TBTL of you, though, Nora”

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Luke: “That’s your fear talking, my friend (I am petrified)”

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Luke: “There are some parts of This American… I almost called it ‘This American Life’… Imagine ‘It’s a Wonderful Life’ hosted by Ira Glass… No, don’t; cuz, we don’t have two hours”

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Luke: “This is not a drill!”

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Luke: “We’ll be dealing with your people, Nora and Stu”

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Luke: “What the eff!?”

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Luke: “Who gives a shit”

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Luke: “Would you like to come to my Corn Palace?”

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Luke: “Wow!”

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Luke: “You and I were separated… at birth… McInerny”

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Luke: “You love him more than Daddy!”

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Luke and Andrew: Double indroppity

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Luke and Andrew: “Flapdoodles. Oh!!”

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Luke and Andrew: “That’s a GIF, that’s a GIF that keeps on GIF-ing (Yeah!)”

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Luke and Andrew: When Andrew laughs, he leaks

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Luke and Steve Neuman: “But… you must have been on cloud nine, or St. Cloud Nine… (What?!?) Got there! (Oh, Goddamnit) I… just… drop me off at the next exit, Nora”

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Luke and Steve Neuman: “Have you ever hitchhiked? Oh, God, no! No! No!”

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Luke and Steve Neuman: “She keeps it realtor (She does)”

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Luke and Steve Neuman: “What do you think about this hitchhiking plan? Umm, I think you’re out of your minds; but, I think you’re out of your minds, in a good way… Does that… sound… half-hearted, or not?”

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Luke, Kristina Lopez and Andrew: Going from John Wayne Gacy town to a town named Hannibal

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Luke, Steve Neuman, Andrew and Nora McInerny: “And, good luck to all!”

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Clips From TBTL #2664: Part One

Andrew: “Carol, hold my calls”

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Andrew: “Double indroppity”

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Andrew: “I just told you, I’m a Rascal Flatts guy! Get it through your head!”

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Andrew: “I open one zipper on mine. Nothing in there but squirrel nuts”

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Andrew: “I read a lot of crappy mysteries”

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Andrew: “I was, like… saying goodbye to the hoisin sauce. I’m not even kidding! I was just, like, ‘Ohh, I just bought the hoisin sauce; and, I’m not even gonna be here for a week'”

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Andrew: “I, kind of, squirmed my way around trying to explain what I do, without explaining what I do”

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Andrew: Laughing and saying “Okay”

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Andrew: “Oh my God”

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Andrew: Saying “I’m… I’m an adult… I’m gonna buy a book!” in a funny manner

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Andrew: Saying “Stop stealing our music!” in a funny manner

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Andrew: “The date should’ve been, ‘Until October 19th, 2019, when we plan on firing your asses'”

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Andrew: “This is not a joke… I have issues”

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Andrew: “Vroom, vroom!”

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Andrew: “When I laugh, I leak”

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Andrew and Luke: “No more than one milkshake a person, though. How am I gonna bring the boys to the yard!?”

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Andrew and Luke: “We’re hitchhiking through… John Wayne Gacy’s… town… and, also… Michele Bachmann was born there. If you guys will recall… Who has been worse for America? Okay”

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Andrew and Steve Neuman: “I don’t have your life, Luke; but… I don’t want your life!”

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Kristina Lopez: Laughing

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Nora McInerny: “I came here because they told me to!!”

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Nora McInerny: “I want you to come here… and poison my whole fucking house, if that’s what it takes!!”

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Nora McInerny: “Look at these… two wacky guys”

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Steve Neuman: “Oh, God, no! No! No!”

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Steve Neuman: Singing “I don’t want your life!”

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Steve Neuman: “The arrow’s the dude; cuz, it’s a boner”

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Steve Neuman: “You have the right amount of Stu right now, I think”

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Clips From TBTL #2597

Andrew: “Awwwwww”

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Andrew: “Check this out!”

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Andrew: “Don’t ever do that again”

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Andrew: “Dour McSourface”

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Andrew: “Hey, no need to get aggra, bro!”

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Andrew: “I am the kid; and, I want somebody to do it for me”

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Andrew: “I dunno, man!”

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Andrew: “I got more boxes for us, baby!”

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Andrew: “It… Oh, no! Don’t do that! Wow. Calm down… Calm down!!!”

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Andrew: Laughing

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Andrew: Making a funny, unconvinced sound

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Andrew: “Mmmh? Mmmh!?”

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Andrew: “Now, you’re just pandering!”

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Andrew: “Oh, that’s right!”

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Andrew: “Really!?”

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Andrew: Singing a funny song

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Andrew: “That wasn’t a speed bump!”

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Andrew: “The box collector follows his own rules”

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Andrew: “Yeah!”

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Andrew: “You know, I was a v–I’m a very scared adult”

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Andrew and Luke: “I still don’t have a good answer to that… Me neither”

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Andrew and Luke: “That whole world scares me. The future is now! Didn’t you hear Common at the beginning of the show? I thought that was me”

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Andrew and Luke: “Yeah!! Yes! (Yeah)”

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Kristina Lopez: Saying “Augie… I don’t know how many times I gotta tell you… but, you can’t be comma uppy here asking me about dates. This is my place of work… I have to do my job” in a Bronx accent

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Luke: “Alright, hold on… Tina-T Meat Krissy-Kris”

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Luke: “And, by the way… sorry… I’m just gonna do this. You didn’t ask, nobody asked; but… just gonna talk about poker for five seconds”

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Luke: “Bye, everybody”

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Luke: “God, Andrew… these eyes! These old eyes!”

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Luke: “Goddamnit! I got Westworlded!”

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Luke: “I mean, I guess some people just don’t know that. Some people maybe haven’t clogged as many toilets as I have… not to brag”

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Luke: “I totally know them!”

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Luke: “If it’s good enough for Kars4Kids… it’s good enough for us”

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Luke: “My family calls me, ‘Big Meat'”

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Luke: “Nope!”

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Luke: Saying “They’re never gonna buy this cow” in a dour manner

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Luke: Singing “1-877-Kars4Kiki… K-A-R-S, Kars4Kiki!”

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Luke: “That is so adorable, and upsetting”

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Luke and Andrew: “But, a brave child! Don’t ever do that again”

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Luke and Andrew: “Dang it! We gave the… we gave the milk away! (Mmm-hmm) They’re never gonna buy this cow”

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Luke and Andrew: “I think that we should have Kiki’s Korner. Oh, shit!”

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Luke and Andrew: Singing a funny fanfare

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Luke and Andrew: Singing a funny fanfare #2

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Luke and Andrew: “We’ll see you tomorrow… Don’t go breaking our hearts; and, please remember: No mountain too tall; and, good luck to all”

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