Clips From TBTL #2631: Andrew Walsh Edition

Andrew: “All these people really just wanna see dirty carrot pics!”

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Andrew: “By the way, quick update on my life; only, cuz, I’m sure a lotta people are curious”

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Andrew: “I’m interested”

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Andrew: “I’m just gonna chill. I’m gonna drink this in, literally and figuratively”

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Andrew: “I’m out”

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Andrew: “It is a bee-yootiful [ph] day outside”

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Andrew: Laughing

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Andrew: Laughing #2

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Andrew: “Luuuke!”

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Andrew: Making a buzzer sound

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Andrew: “No mountain to tall; and, comfortable pants for all”

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Andrew: “Oh, Christ. What’s the difference?”

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Andrew: “Oh, God, yeah. Who you talking to?”

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Andrew: “Oh, great!”

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Andrew: Quietly saying “Get me Lieutenant Eckhardt”

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Andrew: Saying “Alright! What’s the question? Nope! Nope! Next!” in a hyper manner

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Andrew: Singing “Spoonman”

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Andrew: “Things that felt like, kind of, close the blinds as my… that starting to sound like dirty carrot talk again”

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Andrew: Trying to do the DFTB drop

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Andrew: “What do you want them to yell in the audience instead of ‘Luuuuke!’ and it sounds like ‘Boooo!’?”

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Andrew and Luke: “Hey, Luke. Welcome to… welcome to the studio. What am I…? (It’s great being here) Sorry. I’m, I’m trying out for an NPR job. Uh-huh. Hello. Welcome to studio 4-A”

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Andrew and Luke: “I have a whole thing of tissues right here… You know I’m the Tissue King! Is that… is that what you do with your carrots?”

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Andrew and Luke: Luke blows his nose and Andrew tells the listeners that Luke used his shirt

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Andrew and Luke: Luke wiped his nose on the inside of his shirt, which irked Andrew “Tissue King” Walsh

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Andrew and Luke: Singing “Take me down… I love ‘Take Me Down to Political Town'”

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Clips From TBTL #2630

Andrew: “Burp!”

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Andrew: “But… every time I hear some bro on sports radio be like, ‘Ah, good stuff, man. Good stuff. Alright, you can catch on… ESPN… 710.’ Like, it just… it gets under my craw”

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Andrew: “Chung-chung sound”

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Andrew: “Did he just… burp?”

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Andrew: “Give the people what I want!”

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Andrew: “Hey, wait! Hold on a second here”

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Andrew: “I have a million little verbal ticks that I would love to take out of my vocabulary. Listening back to me, on this show, is a painful endeavor for me. I can’t even imagine what’s going on in the listeners’ heads”

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Andrew: “I’m getting emotional here… No, I just was drinking some coffee and it went down the wrong pipe!”

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Andrew: Making Bob Dylan-like sounds

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Andrew: “No, I think she’s judging your toes, you gross man”

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Andrew: “Oh, good stuff, Luke. I just want to say, good stuff there”

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Andrew: “Oh! And, the best part is… not me, of course; because, I’m always on the right side of the law”

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Andrew: “Ooh! Explicit!”

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Andrew: “Our brains are our brains, and the song the is the song; and, whatever this was”

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Andrew: Singing “Samson. Samson. Oooh!”

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Andrew: “That is going to come back to bite us all on the ass”

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Andrew: “To make a long story slightly shorter”

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Andrew: “Totally paid off. Glad I did that”

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Andrew: “Well, you don’t wanna work that. Good stuff, Luke. Damn! I shoulda just said, ‘Good stuff, Luke'”

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Andrew: “Worth it!”

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Andrew: “You mentioned the ‘Y’all’ thing… she double-barreled it, man! ‘All, y’all'”

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Andrew and Luke: “Bad stuff, Luke. (How was that gross!?) Bad stuff”

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Andrew and Luke: “I can’t afford the other one yet… it’s on layaway! (I’m doing a Kickstarter!) Support my Patreon!”

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Andrew and Luke: “Whoa… settle down, Rudy (Yeah)”

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Luke: “Apologies; or, you’re welcome”

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Luke: “At what point does this become… mildly… erotic… is the real question (Ooooh!)”

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Luke: “Bad stuff, Andrew”

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Luke: “I don’t want to be gross”

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Luke: “I love… this story… This is a beautiful story, Andrew”

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Luke: “I… I told you, I don’t listen to the show”

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Luke: “I’ve got a sixty two and a half pound… yellow lab doing that exact thing; and, tell you what, feels amazing. (I say, I say, what’s up dog?) Just like… giving me the world’s greatest pedicure and toe cleaning; and, it actually tickles… Okay, Rudy. That’s actually too much”

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Luke: Imitating a burp

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Luke: Laughing

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Luke: Reciting lyrics from “We’re in the Money”

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Luke: Singing “Couldn’t escape if I wanted to”

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Luke: Singing “Waterloo”

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Luke: “That part… that part… was regrettable”

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Luke: “We’ve got to give the people what… I want”

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Luke: “Without… getting too… ‘Ooh, explicit’ on it (Oh, ‘Explicit!’)”

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Luke: “You’d be, like, ‘How… is this… possible!?'”

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Luke and Andrew: “Also, apparently, this is the show… where, I just read lyrics of songs… totally dispassionately… to the enjoyment, I believe, of the listeners. And, if you don’t know, now you know… Listeners”

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Luke and Andrew: “And, and, Rudy’s got loving in her eyes. So, (Oh, Christ!) I should get back on that whole foot situation… Right, Ru-dog? It’s awful. Seriously calling child and family dog services right now. Dog protective services? Yes”

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Luke and Andrew: Andrew does not like the fact that Rudy is going to town on Luke’s feet and toes

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Luke and Andrew: Andrew doesn’t like the idea that Luke had of Dazzling Donors could ask to have Andrew watch a video of Rudy licking Luke’s feet and toes

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Luke and Andrew: “Dazzling Donors… donated a dazzling amount of donation… (Hmm) during the TBTL-a-Thon last year”

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Luke and Andrew: “Did that… make it any better? No! Bad stuff!”

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Luke and Andrew: Discussing Colby’s “God Uses Kids”

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Luke and Andrew: “I do not apologize, nor will I apologize, for how good it feels… when that dog is going to work… (Ugh!) on my tootsies (Shush!)”

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Luke and Andrew: Luke reciting lyrics to ABBA’s “Waterloo”

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Luke and Andrew: Making air horn sounds

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Luke and Andrew: Scoop-pa-dee-poop and Swoop-and-poop

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Luke and Andrew: “See my vest! (Right) See my vest!”

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Luke and Andrew: “There may be a Roku jammed… jammed into the backside of that TV too. (Mmm) It’s like… (Wow) I don’t understand… (Probably a better way to say that) Maybe. I mean… (I don’t know for sure) thoughts? Was that too (Oh, ‘Explicit!’) Did that get overly erotic, dog?”

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Luke and Andrew: Trying out some DJ names for Luke

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Luke and Andrew: “While you get that dialed up, I gotta let the dog out. (Who?) I gotta the release the dog from the… house”

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Clips From TBTL #2629: Luke Burbank Edition

Luke and Andrew started thanking the TBTL Dazzling Donors who donated at the top level during last year’s TBTL-a-thon; and, I was the first Dazzling Donor to be thanked. Without any further comment, here is thank you message Luke and Andrew had for me.

Luke and Andrew: Dazzling Donor message

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Luke: “Dank of America”

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Luke: “Duly noted!”

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Luke: Explaining that there is a “Dank of America” in Blaine, Washington

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Luke: “Give me a brark… like”

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Luke: “Hey… two people just had emotional diarrhea for an hour and twenty minutes, and called it a show”

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Luke: “Hi! There was a man… and, he was so”

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Luke: “I don’t understand what the fuck they’re doing most of the time”

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Luke: “I’m not just trying to… shine this turd of a… decision making process by me up”

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Luke: “I’ve already gotten one more thing right, here on the show, than I expected… all day… So, that means, it’s gonna be pretty much just… mess ups and slam dunk, three-pointers… from here on out”

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Luke: Laughing

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Luke: Laughing #2

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Luke: “Oooh!”

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Luke: Quietly saying “He can probably tip this car over”

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Luke: Saying “I want yous” as Bob Dylan

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Luke: Saying “It should feel like being in a wood structure” as Bob Dylan

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Luke: Saying “Make it taste like I’m in a wood box” as Bob Dylan

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Luke: Saying “Oh, hi Tens!” as Tommy Wiseau

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Luke: Singing “Troll for the trash man”

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Luke: Talking as if he had safety-pinned his tongue

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Luke: “There is something about the soul of a Pham”

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Luke: “This, right here, this is the show that just… might… be… Too… Beautiful… To… Live”

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Luke: “You’re in my world now, Gramama”

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Luke: “You’ve always been here”

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Luke and Andrew: “Bullshit! By the way… I added that part. Alright”

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Luke and Andrew: “Due Dylan-gence? I think so. Yeah”

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Luke and Andrew: “Get on it, Pham! (Right)”

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Luke and Andrew: “I don’t know what the fuck he’s talking about. Sorry, so many F words today. (Hmm) That’s how I process my grief. Mmm-hmm”

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Luke and Andrew: “If we can jump back to tongue talk for just a moment (Yeah, let’s do it)”

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Luke and Andrew: Luke saying “Duly noted” as Bob Dylan and Andrew making a Bob Dylan-like sound

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Luke and Andrew: “No!!! (Yes) Really?”

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Luke and Andrew: “Our tune-in factor on Friday is gonna be through the roof! Is Nora the new host or not?”

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Luke and Andrew: “That’s a lotta Ps, dude (I know!)”

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Clips From TBTL #2629: Andrew Walsh Edition

Andrew: “And, that’s your story. And, it’s a beautiful story”

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Andrew: “Aw, man. That was boring”

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Andrew: “But, I felt… like… such an impostor walking in there; and, I know that I just oozed out… this imposter-dom”

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Andrew: “I don’t know, man. What’s worse, this or tongue talk?”

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Andrew: “I mean, I’m sorry… I was being so frank about the garbage… No, just joking”

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Andrew: “I mean, there is an over-arching narr–Over-arcing? Over… over arching. Arching… Narrative arc. Arcing. I don’t know, man! Get of my back!”

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Andrew: “I think I was being a little shitty”

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Andrew: “I will never be cool about anything again”

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Andrew: “Just to be corny for a second”

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Andrew: Laughing

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Andrew: Laughing #2

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Andrew: Laughing #3

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Andrew: “Let’s not make this totally about… me and my tongue”

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Andrew: Making trombone bass support sounds

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Andrew: Mimicking the funky bass line at the end of “The Right Way to Rock”

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Andrew: “Not to turn this into a competition of who’s got a more pathetic story”

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Andrew: “Oaaahhh, I’m back!”

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Andrew: “Oh, I get to go in a wheelchair!”

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Andrew: “Oh, wait… what do you mean… it was weird”

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Andrew: “Ooh, ‘Who Trolls the Trash Man'”

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Andrew: “Over my head! Over my head!”

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Andrew: Saying “Highly” as Bob Dylan

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Andrew: Saying “Uh, Luke, I’m in a lotta pain talking like this” as if he really had an impaired tongue

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Andrew: Saying some gibberish as Bob Dylan

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Andrew: “There are raccoons outside! One of them looked at me!”

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Andrew: “Well, then how am I gonna get any pity?”

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Andrew: “When it’s time to stab, stab, stab”

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Andrew: “Yeah. I don’t know what I was thinking”

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Andrew: “You can dip in and dip out”

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Andrew and Luke: Andrew asking if Luke could tell if Andrew’s tongue was impacting how he sounded

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Andrew and Luke: Andrew asking when Luke started being in the pocket of Big Tree

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Andrew and Luke: “It’s like… (God) it’s like I’m showering in the jazz age… You’ve always been here, Andrew”

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Andrew and Luke: “So, I think… that’s a (Cool) hint as to how the young people are doing it these days”

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Andrew and Luke: “They dazzled us; they razzled us… Yeah… They donored us”

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Andrew and Luke: “This is called, ‘Speaking in Tongues’. Tongues! Tongues!! (Oh, right, right, right) Got it. Yeah (Tongues)”

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Clips From TBTL #2628

Luke: “I think she cray”

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Luke: “I… completely and totally… shit the bed”

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Luke: “I’m multitasking. Got my hands in the air… like I just don’t care; and, I’m killing a fly”

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Luke: Laughing

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Luke: “Oh, shit!!”

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Luke: “That shit be dark”

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Luke: “That was Odell’s… chance to blow; and, he did not miss it”

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Luke: “What is ‘Panties to the Side’ an acronym for? It’s like the seventh track off that album”

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Luke: “Ya tried”

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Luke and Nora McInerny: Andrew Walsh talk

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Luke and Nora McInerny: “Have you ever used the sign? Oh, I use the sign… (Do you ever use the sign?) I use the signs all the time. Like… they sat on my… What’s their reaction!? I… What do you think!? Okay? What do you think? I, I don’t know!”

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Luke and Nora McInerny: “I mean, that’s the whole thing about… fairy tales; particularly, like Grimm fairy tales… that shit be dark… (Oh, yeah) right?”

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Luke and Nora McInerny: “Let’s try to sneak a Top Story in here, at the… (Before we get to the river) practically at the end of the show. (Okay) Yes, exactly. Stu’s gonna be at the river in four minutes… I’m sorry… Randall’s gonna be at the river in four minutes. Randall Stuart”

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Luke and Nora McInerny: Nora makes a Newman callback as part of some casino talk

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Luke and Nora McInerny: “Oh, (Yeah) no! Really? Yeah”

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Luke and Nora McInerny: “Please remember: No mountain too tall… and, good luck to all”

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Luke and Nora McInerny: Singing Next’s “Too Close”

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Luke and Nora McInerny: “Wow. Thanks a lot, wind on top of my wings. Which is, how you fly… Did you know that?”

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Nora McInerny: “I grew up Catholic; and, it sucked so bad. And, I hated going to church so much; cuz, it was… so… boring. It was so bad”

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Nora McInerny: “I’m kidding. I’m making the jokes now”

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Nora McInerny: “Oh, God. I’m so bad at remembering, like, the names of things!”

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Nora McInerny: Quietly saying “When you go to sleep tonight… I’m gonna come in your room… and kick your ass”

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Nora McInerny: “Stay on message, Nora! Stay on message”

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Nora McInerny: “This is the empire that APM doesn’t see me building”

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Nora McInerny and Luke: “Hi! (Hi!) Hi! Hi. I just always get very… excited to speak to other people… I work from home a lot… Do I get to say, ‘Hi,’ now?”

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Nora McInerny and Luke: “I do not know a single… woman who doesn’t hear that think, ‘Oh, yeah, I am… Yes, I am’ Really? Mmm-hmm. Oh, yeah. Do you think (Yeah) it’s a little on the nose? Oh, I love it. I love it”

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Nora McInerny and Luke: Nora thought Steve Neuman’s name was “Randall Stuart” based on his Twitter handle

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Nora McInerny and Luke: “She’s a lady… so… Oh! The pastor… (The lady pastor…) was a lady. The pastor was lady! How could this be possible!? Cuz, it’s… a Lutheran church; and, they let… women… do that”

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Clips From TBTL #2627

Luke: “All you usually talk about is grief; and… and, we’re not gonna talk about that. We’re gonna talk about TBTL dumb stuff”

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Luke: “Alright, let’s see here. Do I remember how all this works? Microphone… active… Intro music… getting quieter… Voice… getting louder… Hey, look at that, everybody”

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Luke: “And now, we’re really taking a… we’re taking a drive down… the road of boredom”

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Luke: “And then, we’ll say adiós… for this… bizarro edition of TBTL”

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Luke: “And, I’m doing this solo today; you’re welcome, America… and… and parts of Australia”

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Luke: “Drugs are the best… My only regret is that they couldn’t have kept me drugged up a little longer”

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Luke: “Her whole game is grief, y’all!”

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Luke: “Here we are… here we are… doing the show. Actually wasn’t sure… what the plan was gonna be for today’s episode”

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Luke: “I could not… stare at the server… and say, ‘Rooty Tooty Fresh ‘N Fruity… Please give me the Rooty Tooty Fresh ‘N Fruity.’ Could not make myself do it”

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Luke: “I decided to just, like, turn on this microphone… and start talking… and, then… when I run out of things to say… or the construction noise in the… in the ceiling… above me here at Burbank Springs becomes so loud… that you can no longer here me… then, it will be time to end the show. One of those two things will happens; and, then, that will just be a sign… that it’s the end of today’s episode of TBTL”

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Luke: “Oh my God. I’m sorry. I have to let it go until the very end; because, of that… that… bass jam freak out is just too good”

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Luke: “That… that’s not a feeling… That’s not a good… a, sort of, comforting thing to know”

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Luke: “This is not an impossible dream, Micah”

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Luke: “This show has gone from… emotionally weird to just straight-up boring”

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Luke: “Why do I have to bring politics into this!?”

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Luke: “Yeah, Micah, we’re all dealing with hard things this week! That wasn’t fair, Micah. That was not fair at all. I’m sorry… You’re just a tree… you’re just a tree that thinks your sandwich problems are as intense as my grief right now”

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Luke: “You know how when you have the DVR… and you hit fast-forward, like, three or four times and it just shows you a lightning bolt… and it’s just really humming through… whatever that thing is your recorded… I wanna lightning bolt to the end of this feeling”

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Luke: “You know, by the way… I don’t even know if any of you are gonna hear this; because… Andrew is the one who puts these shows… on Internet and in your phones. I don’t know how he gets ’em on your phones. I think he drives around door-to-door and like… like the tooth, like reverse tooth fairy; he inserts them into your phone… or something?”

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