Luke Burbank – Page 265 – Marsupial Gurgle

Andrew and Carey Burbank: “I need to go make some plans or something! Hey, you can make a candle… or something… Oh, wow! It’s okay. You know, it’s okay when I say it.”

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Andrew and Luke: Andrew is a glib guy and that’s his brand

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Andrew and Luke: “I don’t blame my wi-fi. I think you should apologize to Robotron. Sorry, Robotron.”

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Andrew and Luke: “Well, Dan in Brooklyn wants to solve my nut problem. (Nice) He says, ‘Hey, guys…’ (Finally) Let’s take that one out of context, Linh. Let’s not, Linh.”

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Andrew, Carey Burbank and Luke: Carey is a Burbank but didn’t pull a Burbank

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Carey Burbank: “Andrew’s a very good host”

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Carey Burbank: “Did you have a fart transplant?”

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Carey Burbank: “Linh Pham, could you put together a compilation of how many times Luke has said, ‘I don’t wanna speak for you, Carey…’ and then, proceeds to speak for me. Thanks.”

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Carey Burbank: “Seriously?”

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Carey Burbank: “Wait, wait… how do you accidentally buy ham?”

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Carey Burbank and Andrew: “Hard Rain” Reference

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Carey Burbank and Andrew: “Wait a minute, can I make an announcement? (Yes) I’m… I’m taking off”

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Carey Burbank, Luke and Andrew: Carey saying “I shit you not” and “I fart transplant you not”

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Carey Burbank, Luke and Andrew: “Yeah, I talked about this once on the show before, and I didn’t quite describe it in a way that I felt good about… But… ye–I. By the way, welcome to everyday for me and Andrew. I know, I already regret a lot of what I said on this show. It’s not even over yet. Did you have a fart transplant?”

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Luke: “Apparently, somebody puts Baby in a corner; and, that’s us”

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Luke: “Carey, I, I… again, I don’t wanna speak for you; but, I…”

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Luke: Chuckling

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Luke: “Go download an Internet. And, go Mariners.”

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Luke: “I just love Rudy so much”

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Luke: Laughing

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Luke: “Now, I don’t wanna… tell you how you feel”

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Luke: “Redfin is my Tindr”

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Luke: “The nut meats”

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Luke: “Those are all on the prohibited list… we hope”

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Luke and Andrew: “But, I feel like if there were ghosts, I–they’d just walk in and be like… you know, ‘What’s up, y’all?’. They wouldn’t be like… Oh, they’re from Austin? (Yeah)”

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Luke and Andrew: “Let’s take that one out of context, Linh. Let’s not, Linh.”

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Luke and Andrew: Luke’s description of cupfuls of tobacco makes Andrew uncomfortable

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Luke and Carey Burbank: “Like a typical conversation with me, you may be paying attention about thirty to forty percent of it. Would you say that’s accurate? Accurate. Okay.”

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Luke and Carey Burbank: “Now, I don’t wanna… tell you how you feel. What does my body language tell you? You’re about to ghost on me. You’re about to ghost on this relationship any minute.”

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Luke and Carey Burbank: “The fart transplant did not go as planned. Oh, brother.”

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Luke, Carey Burbank and Andrew: Luke didn’t read the look on Carey’s face correctly

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Audio Clips

Clips From TBTL #2406

June 21, 2017 June 21, 2017

Andrew: “And also, just to go back to the regular… regular swearing!”

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Andrew: “But, I really enjoyed yelling at everybody!”

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Andrew: Chuckling

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Andrew: “Everybody, quiet down!”

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Andrew: “I didn’t swear there”

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Andrew: “I thought a Lone Star Tick is when you find yourself saying ‘Y’all’ all the time in Austin”

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Andrew: “I’m just gonna give an ad here”

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Andrew: Laughing

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Andrew: Laughing and saying “There’s pretty good”

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Andrew: Saying “Still sucks” in a funny manner

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Andrew: “Side question”

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Andrew: Snorting

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Andrew: “Ya got rats, man!! Ya got rats!”

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Andrew and Luke: “And then, you took a big hit off your vape pen. Yup.”

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Andrew and Luke: “Hey, y’all! My buddy’s sleeping! Hey, y’all! I’m (Yeah, exactly) out for a walk!”

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Andrew and Luke: “I just hacked my way into the backend of… Okay, I was (Alright) gonna say… Let’s see how he gets out of this one.”

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Andrew and Luke: “Luke? Yeah. Let’s just do a little quiet time… Let’s finally respect the listener’s wishes and shut up. Everybody… Everybody, quiet down!”

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Andrew and Luke: “Sounds like mafia shit. There, I just swore. I hope everybody’s (Ooooh) happy. I hope they are too.”

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Andrew and Luke: “You wanna play a voicemail? Yeah, I do.”

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Luke: “Back at it again… with a Tuesday afternoon edition of TBTL”

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Luke: “Dad, why do we live in a time warp?”

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Luke: High-pitched “What!!?”

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Luke: “I know this; cuz, I’m constantly doing shit like this, you know?”

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Luke: “I’ll, I’ll say, ‘Doggam Futhermucker’… one show”

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Luke: “Just y’all-ing it up”

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Luke: “Sometimes, I’ll fight tomorrow’s battles yesterday; and, that will really fuck them up.”

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Luke: “That’s the kind of thing… that you don’t think about; but, it’s life-changing if you spend as much time… on the toilet as I do”

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Luke: “There’s a reason why there’s a version of the song where they say, ‘She ain’t messing with no broke, broke’. Is it, does it rhyme? No. Does it scan as well? No. Is that the version that I’m gonna sing? Yes.”

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Luke: Whispering “If we start whispering, the listeners will whispering back for no good reason”

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Luke and Andrew: “I will dig through shit to find that piece of tooth. And she did, right?”

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Luke and Andrew: Luke and Andrew’s improv skills aren’t great, even if Andrew writes his stuff down

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Audio Clips

Clips From TBTL #2405

June 20, 2017 June 20, 2017

Andrew: “‘Hey, Andrew!’ they say”

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Andrew: “‘Hey, do you need an intern?’ Or, ‘Where are we on that intern thing?’ Or, ‘Hey Chris, haven’t heard back from you about the intern. What’s up there?'”

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Andrew: “Hey, when’s her radio show!? When are we doing that!? I wanna listen to her radio show!”

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Andrew: “I was cyberbullied within an inch of my life last night”

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Andrew: “I’m famous for saying, ‘No link, no love'”

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Andrew: “Ironically, I actually missed the Wallingford sausage festival last year. I’m not even joking!”

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Andrew: “It’s ironic that I’m saying this after our Spreadshee Debacle of 2017”

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Andrew: Laughing

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Andrew: Laughing #2

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Andrew: “My address is… just kidding”

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Andrew: “Rule following, finger wagger”

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Andrew: Snorting

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Andrew: “This is… the most Burbankian thing to ever Burbank”

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Andrew: “What fresh hell is this? Off to the Yelps for me!”

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Andrew: “What… the hell fast food chain was Andrew talking about when he mentioned getting fresh wraps?”

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Andrew: “Wooo!!”

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Andrew: “You were just being so mean to me that I lost my appetite. No.”

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Andrew and Luke: Laughing and Snickering

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Luke: “But, man! She has been working on her beef castle; and, she is looking svelte.”

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Luke: Frustrated “Ahhhhh!!”

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Luke: “Hello, my… dude friend”

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Luke: “How could you do that to my life?”

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Luke: “I dazzled out my deets”

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Luke: “Now back to what we do”

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Luke: Singing “Chase me all the way. Chase me all the way.”

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Luke and Andrew: Andrew laughing to Luke saying “Nothing cold… can stay, Andrew”

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Luke and Andrew: “It’s wiggity, wiggity, wack. Totally. Totally.”

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Luke and Andrew: Luke’s beatboxing involves a lot of spit

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Luke and Andrew: “My boy says he can eat fifty sausages. (Thank you) My boy can eat fifty sausages. Thank you”

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Audio Clips

Clips From TBTL #2403

June 19, 2017 June 19, 2017

Andrew: “Actually, no. I include LA. I don’t like the weather down there. Sorry. Sorry… God… or whoever made the weather down there.”

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Andrew: Chuckling

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Andrew: “Coo coo ca choo”

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Andrew: “Don’t teach your kids to be TBTLers”

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Andrew: “Euuuhh! I gotta get outta here before something bad happens.”

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Andrew: “I, I almost said, ‘my colleagues’. I picture myself and my little peers”

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Andrew: “In my head, my legendary… seven-word review was, ‘You shoulda lef–left that shit airbrush on the side on a panel van’. That’s more than seven words.”

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Andrew: “Is Martha your daughter!?”

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Andrew: “It’s my honey don’t list”

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Andrew: “It’s the Fourth of damn July!”

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Andrew: Laughing

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Andrew: Laughing #2

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Andrew: Laughing #3

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Andrew: Laughing #4

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Andrew: “Lazy-eyed, psycho cat”

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Andrew: “Ohh! Really?”

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Andrew: “Somehow it’s not… gross”

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Andrew: “Sorry… God”

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Andrew: “Wah-wah”

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Andrew: “Wah-wah” (In the clear)

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Andrew: “Wait!!!”

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Andrew: “What are we even doing here?”

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Andrew: “Which was some sort of Ringo Starr bullshit”

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Andrew: “Why am I doing this!?”

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Andrew: “You know, I’m not gonna die on that hill”

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Andrew and Luke: Andrew brought up that Alvin and The Chipmunks covered The Beatles’ “Do You Know a Secret” but didn’t want Luke to play it

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Andrew and Luke: Building up towards “Trucks, trucks and more trucks”

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Andrew and Luke: “Hey, man. How ya doing? I’m great. I’m so good. Good! Anything in particular?”

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Andrew and Luke: “I know we’re trying to hurry up… but, I don’t care. No. I know we’re trying to hurry up, but… Oh, Davy. I’m gonna talk slow.”

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Andrew and Luke: “Just, on its own, this is the most cloying… cutesy, (I agree!) makes your teeth hurt BS”

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Andrew and Luke: “KUGS! (KUG! KUG!) Eighty-nine three FM! KUG! KUG! KUG!”

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Andrew and Luke: “Oh, ‘Free as the Bird’ should’ve been the number worst… The number worst (Really) song!”

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Andrew and Luke: Singing “Ring!” to “Ob-la-di, ob-la-da”

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Andrew and Luke: “This isn’t canon! This guy’s off the rails, Luke. It’s everything that was released in the UK. I dunno what to tell you. Don’t take up your issues with Dave Wyman. I will.”

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Andrew and Luke: “We’re kind of a Lennon/McCartney of podcasting (I think so)”

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Luke: “Are you there Martha? It’s me, dad.”

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Luke: “Blanket statement. I get it.”

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Luke: Chuckling

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Luke: “Everybody forgive me for my forgetful ways”

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Luke: “I don’t wanna mess with that crazy cat”

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Luke: “I’m not a player, I just KUGS a lot. That’s just gonna have to be some comedy gold for you and me.”

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Luke: Laughing

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Luke: “Stop looking for socks in the street, ya turkeys!”

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Luke: “The brain is such a weird thing; especially, my brain”

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Luke: “This is a pretty medium spoof”

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Luke: Trying to get Rudy’s attention with the squirrel lure

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Luke: Trying to recite lyrics from LL Cool J’s “Mama Said Knock You Out”

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Luke: “Welcome to… Meteorological Talk on TBTL”

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Luke: “Yeah, what is up, dog, with the Pod-dog?”

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Luke and Andrew: “It’s… Penny Lane. No, it’s not. No, it’s not! Are you kidding me!? Yeah. No, this whole thing is… I’m editing this all out. This is ridiculous.”

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Luke and Andrew: “That’s the Burbank way. That’s the Burbank way.”

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Luke and Andrew: Walking With a Shark, These Sharks Were Made for Walking, and Mama Said Shark You Out

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Audio Clips

Clips From TBTL #2402

June 16, 2017 June 16, 2017

Andrew: “Ahh, we’ll get this, my precious”

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Andrew: “And, you know me… I’m very sensitive about these things”

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Andrew: Chuckling

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Andrew: “Go Mariners… and go eat a bagel!”

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Andrew: “He has so much ‘tude”

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Andrew: “I guess the ‘Cindy Crawfish Experience’…”

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Andrew: “I like this regulation; but, that probably is not surprising coming from ‘Big Government’ Andy over here.”

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Andrew: “It’s done!!”

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Andrew: Laughing

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Andrew: Laughing #2

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Andrew: Laughing “Oh, God!”

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Andrew: “Not my ciotka… not my monkeys”

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Andrew: Snorting

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Andrew and Luke: Andrew’s rap is borderline pornographic

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“Don’t be dull. Be dazzling!”

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Luke: “Basically, Rudy has been gentrified… out of her own neighborhood”

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Luke: Beatboxing

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Luke: “Beauty is in the Ear of the Beholder?”

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Luke: “God, that’s beautiful!”

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Luke: “It’s not the water!!!”

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Luke: Laughing

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Luke: “Not my circus, not my monkeys, people”

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Luke: “Not to turn this into ‘99% Invisible’… or, our version, ‘99% Unlistenable'”

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Luke: Saying “George! Can you help me with my invention?” as George Foreman

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Luke: Saying “George!” as George Foreman

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Luke: Saying “That’s how bad it was! He ended up pitching.” in a high-pitched voice

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Luke: Singing the first few notes from “Also sprach Zarathustra”

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Luke: “This is George Foreman. People are always saying to me, ‘George! Did they find trilobal fibers in the trunk?'”

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Luke: “Thought for your thought”

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Luke: “Trucks, trucks and more trucks!!”

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Luke: “Uhh, that’s meta. I go in for anything meta.”

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Luke: Yelling “George!!!” as George Foreman

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Luke: “Yes, indeed”

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Luke and Andrew: Andrew, with his beard, is like the “Bear” of the show

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Luke and Andrew: “Forgive me for this, but it was… it was a kamikaze mission. It was too beautiful to live, is what it was. It was, in fact, too beautiful to live.”

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Luke and Andrew: “No, too lengthy. Oh, wow–Oooooo! (Too long) Too loud and too specific.”

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Luke and Andrew: “Oh, yeah. His teeth were so bad… he looked like a monkey eating shit through a hairbrush. Oh my God! Oh my God!”

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Luke and Andrew: “Teach me how to Doogie. Teach me how to Doogie.”

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Luke and Andrew: “Well, my name’s Luke Burbank, and I’m here to say… (No, no, no, no, no, nope…) I’m talking about road signs in a major way. I am beeping all of that out.”

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Luke and Andrew: “What is happening to us today? (I don’t know!) It’s only Tuesday. We’re supposed go off the rails on… Well, it’s actually Wednesday… Well, that’s part of the problem right there.”

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Audio Clips

Clips From TBTL #2401

June 13, 2017 June 13, 2017

Andrew: “And, of course, that’s what they were saying!”

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Andrew: “B’what!?!”

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Andrew: “‘Doesn’t seem broken to me!!’, he said. I assume that’s what he sounded like.”

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Andrew: “I had this huge, honking layover in Detroit”

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Andrew: “I was a, a very large kid for most of my life; and then, and then, I started to lose a lot of weight. Probably, you know, some growth spurt shit going on”

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Andrew: “Is that the ride that broke you?”

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Andrew: Laying down some kick drum beats

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Andrew: Laying down some kick drum beats #2

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Andrew: “Oh, gate’s locked. What now?”

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Andrew: “That’s the not-so-dazzling deets”

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Andrew: Tongue Clicking Sound