Clips From TBTL #2400

At the “South of Queso” TBTL live show in Austin, TX, the guys had Shakey Graves on as a musical guest. Shakey Graves performed two songs on stage and both were included in the podcast.

Shakey Graves: Performing “As Long As You Love Me”

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Shakey Graves: Performing “Roll the Bones”

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Andrew: “Clap if you won’t get any sleep tonight”

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Andrew: “Did I smell on that last day? Cuz, I did not shower in the morning”

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Andrew: Drawn out “Oh-ho, shit!”

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Andrew: “Gross time”

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Andrew: “I love you guys so much!”

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Andrew: “I wanna be cool like you someday”

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Andrew: “I’d like to say thank you for driving every last, goddamn mile of that trip.”

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Andrew: “I’m crossing. If they kill me, Genevieve gets the insurance.”

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Andrew: “It’s for my goat!! What?!!”

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Andrew: “Oh no, don’t tell that!”

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Andrew: “Oh, wait. That’s Court! What the heck!?”

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Andrew: Saying “Lucky car!” and making a funny sound

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Andrew: Singing “We bought a zoo…ropa!”

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Andrew: “The doctor was a dentist!!”

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Andrew: “There’s an idiom for that”

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Andrew: “We’re the Wet Bandits. I’m Pesci.”

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Andrew and Luke: “And… listen… I drive a Scion. So, peace and love, peace and love. You won that in a Snuggle-a-Scion contest. Right, didn’t you?”

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Andrew and Luke: Andrew plays Dream Court instead of Dreamcatcher, stops and then plays Dreamcatcher

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Andrew and Luke: “Did we get in trouble for that by… you know, (We did have to pay some extra money) I don’t wanna know. Aw, damn! (Yeah) Thank you for supporting TBTL. Yeah. We had to get here you guys, I’m sorry.”

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Andrew and Luke: “Hey man! How are ya, buddy? I’m as nervous as a fly on a glue-pot, man. Oh, you still have… you still have your list of Texas idioms, I see.”

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Andrew and Luke: “Thirteen is the number of times Luke tried to casually drop ‘Y’all’ last night. I made some good friends, Andrew. You’re just jealous.”

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Andrew and Luke: “Top that, Burbank! Got nothing.”

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Andrew and Luke: “When I started this journey… when we started (Yeah, that’s right) this journey. I’m sorry. I’m not even holding up the ‘Aww’ sign!”

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Andrew and Luke: “Would you say that they were as happy as a bunch of flies where my butt had been? Yes!!!”

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Andrew and Luke: “You wanna do it again? Re-litigate this? I’m just sayin’. There were some hanging chads, I think.”

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Luke: “And, one is the number of times that Andrew bought horny goat weed at a truck stop and tried to pass it off as a joke”

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Luke: “By the way, this is the part of the show where I discuss radio contracts”

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Luke: “By the way… to everybody who supported us during the TBTL-a-thon, thank you! We did it! We’re not fired… as far as we know.”

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Luke: “Geez, that’s a hell of a handshake!”

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Luke: Mimicking Shakey Graves’ mouth guitar sounds

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Luke: “We have all the news from Austin that is fit to podcast for you”

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Luke: “We have this young man, just to my left. He’s the Hodor of podcasting. He tripped coming on stage, but it doesn’t mean that he thinks he’s better than anyone else. And, he is into the regional cuisine of the area. (I might have tacos when I go home. I’m not quite sure yet.) His name is Andrew Walsh!”

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Luke: “We watched it from every single angle; it was like the JFK assassination. We… too soon? Some–somebody boo that?”

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Luke: “You didn’t stink; but, that… was unsettling”

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Luke and Andrew: “Andrew was cleaning the RV. True story, I brought Windex.”

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Luke and Andrew: “Andrew, describe your feelings right now. This is incredible.”

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Luke and Andrew: “Andrew, how are you doing? I’m feeling… somewhere between goofy… and brain dead.”

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Luke and Andrew: “Andrew’s childhood sleeping bag… that he used in the RV on the way down here. Filled with… forty years of farts… and… moderate boners. And now… it is yours. It was really the moderate part of that that really bothered me.”

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Luke and Andrew: “One… is the number of times that Andrew… literally slapped himself in the face trying to kill a fly. That might have happened. It’s hard to say.”

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Luke and Andrew: “You’re taking us to Dream Court!? Oh, wait. That’s Court! What the heck!?”

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Luke and Shakey Graves: “You’re sort of like a very petty Arya Stark. Yes. Every night, before you go to sleep, the list grows!”

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Shakey Graves: “I would love to play you out”

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Shakey Graves: Making mouth guitar sounds

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Shakey Graves: Singing a couple of musical tones

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Clips From TBTL #2399

Andrew: “Ah, I messed it up!!!”

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Andrew: “Ah, the best doggin’s! Yeah”

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Andrew: “Every night has been great!!”

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Andrew: “I can’t believe it!”

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Andrew: “I don’t know what people think about this show; but, we’re not rich enough to eat our laying heggs [sic]. Ah, I messed it up!!! You’re supposed to be ‘rich enough to eat your laying hens’. Another words, you have eggs… I’m struggling today, guys.”

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Andrew: “I love the way you think”

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Andrew: “I… cannot believe I cut the ‘S’ off of that drop”

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Andrew: “I’m struggling today, guys”

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Andrew: “Oh, nice thinkin’!”

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Andrew: “This is hog killing weather, just move on”

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Andrew: “This joint is gonna get gamy!!”

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Andrew: “We’re dumb as a barrel of hair”

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Andrew: “Would we say that she is tough as a stewed skunk?”

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Andrew and Luke: “But, if anybody says that Katie… would squeeze a nickel until the buffalo screams… they’re a damn liar!! She is not cheap. Am I gonna have to confiscate your list of idioms?”

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Andrew and Luke: “See, they don’t use the word ‘Awesome’ in Texas, so… Do they say, ‘Y’awesome’?”

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Andrew and Luke: “That drop is hotter than a preacher’s knee. Ha-ha!!!”

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Luke: “Aw boy, I tell ya… it was hotter than a two dollar pistol out there”

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Luke: Clams are inscrutable and are like rocks with a booger in it

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Luke: Cute Laugh

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Luke: “Ha-ha!!!”

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Luke: “I cannot… work under these conditions”

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Luke: “I tell you what, boy. It was hotter than the hinges of hell”

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Luke: “Katie really has a way with words here. I should say, a way with turds.”

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Luke: Playing the “Isn’t that for technogee” and Andrew’s proto Marsupial Gurgle clips

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Luke: Singing “Going off the rails on a gravy train”

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Luke: Singing “This is a dad thing”

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Luke: Singing “With two toothbrushes” and “Chopped and Screwed” over the top of Spoon’s “You Got Yr. Cherry Bomb”

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Luke: Snorting

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Luke: “So, it all, it all comes back to Texas”

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Luke: “The other ones were bullshit, this is real.”

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Luke: “We’re also… good word people. We know all the kinds of word”

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Luke: “Well, you know, God never turns off an AC without suggesting you open a window”

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Luke: “What was wrong with us!?”

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Luke: “Yeah!”

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Luke and Andrew: Laughing

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Luke and Andrew: There have been no intentional farts in the Fart Locker

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Luke and Andrew: “Uh, he’s lucky? Yes, you son of a bitch!! …You glorious bastard! Exactly. He’s lucky!”

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Clips From TBTL #2398

Andrew: “Couldn’t hear you through my beard, bro”

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Andrew: “Huh! I can’t do that, huh!? Then, I’m just gonna do this!!”

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Andrew: Laughing

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Andrew: “Not everything is about you, Amy!!”

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Andrew: “Okay. Sounds like somebody’s… gunning for an associated producer credit; but, whatever.”

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Andrew: Snorting

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Andrew: “TBTL: No Filters”

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Andrew: “This has gone too far!”

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Andrew: “You can use the damn bathroom, man”

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Andrew: “You’ll gain hundreds of confidence”

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Andrew and Luke: “Luke Burbank… brought two electric goddamn toothbrushes! (Air and a spare!) You have to do it! And a laser baldness helmet, and a printer!”

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Andrew and Luke: “Sorry… part of my brain that connects to my mouth just had a… slight malfunction. I think it’s cuz we’re in the desert and there’s not good connectivity. (Yeah, sure)”

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Luke: “Had to do some good naked networking in the shower”

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Luke: “He looked at a water bottle full of human urine today; but, it doesn’t mean that he thinks he’s better than everybody else”

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Luke: “Hello, traveler!”

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Luke: “I know!!”

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Luke: “I wanted you to see it, daddy”

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Luke: “Is anyone else seeing this train?!!”

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Luke: “Nada mucho. Just, uh… you know… snappin’ necks and cashing checks here”

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Luke: “None of things you said are words”

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Luke: Saying “This ain’t the Coachella Valley!” as Bugs Bunny

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Luke: “This goes out to all the coffee lovas”

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Luke: “We danced. We hugged. I think we might have even hugged, Andrew, in this RV park!”

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Luke and Andrew: “Boy, this is a stress dream for you. Ho, God! Send it back to hell!!”

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Luke and Andrew: “Is it okay that I peed in this water bottle last night? Oh! Wait… you’re really trying to teach me something, aren’t you?”

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Luke and Andrew: Partially Used Soaps on Albuquerque Craigslist

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Luke and Andrew: “We played, yesterday, from, from Vegas here to Albuquerque… which, we shoulda taken a left at Albuquerque, (I know) now that I think of it. This is no La Jolla.”

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Clips From TBTL #2397

Andrew: “And I looked, and I think this newspaper is maybe ninety-five cents or something. And, guys, don’t worry about me. That’s a tax write-off.”

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Andrew: “And no, to answer everybody’s question, I’m not the guy who peed his pants”

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Andrew: “And the road does funny things to your brain”

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Andrew: “I said the loud part quiet and the quiet part loud”

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Andrew: “I… used too many words… to not… say much”

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Andrew: “It’s gonna be a real Romeo and Podcaster situation”

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Andrew: “Lotta things are legal here that I didn’t think about, Luke”

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Andrew: “Luke… you got the job”

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Andrew: “Oh my gosh!”

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Andrew: Quietly saying “Hi… Welcome to the TBTL-a-thon. You rely on TBTL for… hot dog stories… and laser baldness antics. But, what’s important to remember is… TBTL… relies on you. Now, I’m gonna get my Chex Mix out… and I’m gonna start (You’re a gross person)”

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Andrew: “We saw some sadness in there”

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Andrew and Luke: Andrew talking about wanting to get his “On The Media” on and Luke sings the theme

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Andrew and Luke: E-mailus Interruptus

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Andrew and Luke: “I’m gonna let you sex me up. Oh, gross!”

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Andrew and Luke: “I’m gonna let you take me to the places… that you see fit this evening, and we can check in tomorrow morning? That sounds like a song about sex! Well… can I rephrase it? Yes. Yes. I’m gonna let you sex me up. Oh, gross!”

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Andrew and Luke: “This is St. Paul? No, it’s heaven.”

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Luke: “Air is the musical equivalent of a fart in the wind”

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Luke: “All of the tiredness is about to get on top of me”

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Luke: “And, I’m a control freak who must be in charge of everything”

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Luke: “Holy guacamole”

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Luke: Imitating Boomhauer from “King of the Hill”

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Luke: “It’s like we’re pitching a no shitter”

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Luke: Laughing

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Luke: “Oh, let’s just do it now”

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Luke: “She’s Amy ‘Little Finger’ Woo”

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Luke: “This is how they getcha”

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Luke: “Whoo!”

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Luke and Andrew: “And we went there for years and years and years; and then, one day, we walked in and it had been changed to Toby Keith’s ‘I Love This Bar’. Oh, that’s worst than a vape shop.”

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Luke and Andrew: “Andrew, do you see it? It’s hard to miss, Luke. It’s hard miss. Holy shit!”

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Luke and Andrew: “Idaho… Oh! Sorry. Just kneed the broadcast table. (How do you feel?)”

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Clips From TBTL #2396

Andrew: Croc Martens

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Andrew: “Don’t we have a rule where we don’t ask each other questions we know the other person doesn’t know the answer to?”

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Andrew: “God!!”

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Andrew: “I only took out, I only, I only took out the weird stuff. I don’t know why you had to make it so weird yesterday.”

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Andrew: “I’m an old man. I don’t know how stuff works.”

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Andrew: “It’s alive!!”

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Andrew: “Oh my gosh”

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Andrew: “Scruff-duggers”

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Andrew: “This is gonna be weird. I’m sorry, my brain’s not working right today.”

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Andrew: “You scruff-dugged yourself”

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Andrew and Luke: “Am I holding farts in, or is the RV holding our farts in? Oh… Well, both can be true.”

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Andrew and Luke: Andrew goes negative as it’s too idyllic and perfect

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Andrew and Luke: Andrew is full of amazing show titles, including “Scruff-duggers”

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Luke: “Alright, in other… Idahomie news”

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Luke: “Big Baby Gideon… Scrub-dugging, Gamb–Gambler’s Fallacy”

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Luke: “Do me a favor Papa Smurf… can you try to keep the scruff-dugging at a minimum during this, while we’re in the RV together?”

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Luke: Drawn out “Uhhh… I dunno”

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Luke: “It’s messed up, people. It’s messed up.”

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Luke: “Keep Pocatello Weird”

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Luke: Notification sound played on Luke’s computer and Luke saying “Thanks, Facebook”

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Luke: “Now, that’s how you win. End quote.”

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Luke: Saying “Here’s ten bucks! Put it on black!” in a gruff voice

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Luke: Sneezing

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Luke: “Stop living like a scruff-dugger”

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Luke: “Well, because we, Andrew, had… forgotten… about a little thing called, time zones.”

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Luke: “Were they scruffing or were they dugging?”

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Luke: “Yes, yes, yes. This just feels right, everybody.”

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Luke: “YOLO, YODO. And now, that’s how you win.”

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Luke: “You scruffy dugging nerf herder!”

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Luke: “You’re getting to know us, and our ability to snatch insults from the mouth of compliments.”

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Luke and Andrew: “Big Baby Walshki? Yeah”

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Luke and Andrew: “By the way, this is really reinforcing… my gambler’s fallacy; which, is not my nickname for my private parts. But, it could be a good name for this RV.”

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Luke and Andrew: No Papa Smurfing in the RV or on the road trip

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Luke and Andrew: “Why is that dog sharpening a knife on one of it’s paws? Oh no. They’re starting to rock the RV.”

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Luke and Andrew: “You’re gonna love the way you cook. I guarantee it.”

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Clips From TBTL #2395: Luke Burbank Edition

Luke: “All will be revealed, Saturday night, in Austin”

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Luke: “Alright… people. This is really happening.”

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Luke: “And, if you’re waiting for the eagle to shit on Friday, that’s fine too.”

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Luke: “Are you… even for real right now?”

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Luke: “As my wife would say, ‘You’re gonna hard eye-roll so hard… that… you’re eyes are gonna come detached. You’re gonna look like a slot machine in Reno, in the 70s.'”

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Luke: “Face hair, don’t care”

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Luke: “He co-rented an RV; but, it doesn’t mean that he thinks he’s better than anyone else”

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Luke: “Hi, it’s the TBTL-a-thon week! Please enjoy this first episode, ‘Grease on the Skin and Farts on the Deck'”

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Luke: “I have this… new… Pitbull… Tiësto song that is just going to absolutely knock your dick in the dirt”

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Luke: “I will happily volunteer for backing it up duty”

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Luke: Incorrectly stating the show number, which is actually 2395, in a collector’s series

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Luke: “My dearest Olive… I hope the morning finds you well”

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Luke: “My name is Luke Burbank. I am your driver… slash host”

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Luke: “Oh, yeah, listen to that, listen to that HEMI work! I don’t know what any of those words are that I just said.”

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Luke: Saying “I don’t know, Davy!” as a claymation dog

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Luke: Saying “On the day of my daughter’s wedding. On the day of my daughter’s TBTL-a-thon, you come to me and you play ‘I Spy’ on the radio.” as The Godfather

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Luke: Singing “And the landjäger brought him down”

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Luke: “Something just flew out in the back; so, that’s… probably something we need to investigate”

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Luke: “They had their teabags out”

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Luke: “We call that, ‘The Burbank Send-Off'”

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Luke: “We made tomorrow’s Boise today… but, we still got to get to tomorrow’s… Vegas”

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Luke: “Which, could either mean this is an amazingly triumphant week, where they climb back to .500 and we have a lot of fun; or, it could just be… just a, a crane kick to the nut sack of our heart… seven times between now and Austin.”

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Luke: “You don’t worry your pretty little head about that, my friend”

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Luke and Andrew: Carey had some bad premonition about the road trip

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Luke and Andrew: “Luke Burbank, who crawled through a mile of shit… to leave… Walter and Susie Burbank’s home and go to the University of Washington. I’d like to tell ya that Luke didn’t drive the RV that day.”

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Luke and Andrew: “May your life feel like a drive from Boise to Las Vegas. With nothing to talk about.”

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Luke and Andrew: “The other thing I brought that, I, even I was like… come on, dude… is… I brought my scale. You did!!”

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Luke and Andrew: “Yeah, like The Splendid Table doesn’t ask you for this kind of shit all the time. On the air (Yeah)”

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Luke and Andrew: “You have no… rearview mirror; like, the thing that you normally look up at in your car to see who’s behind you. If I do that, I’m just looking into the bathroom. What’s going on back there? Nothing good.”

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