Tag: Luke Burbank

Luke: “Aw, man. It’s not from a female. This one’s from a male named ‘Andrew Walsh’.”

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Luke: “But Andrew, she wasn’t out of the woods yet.”

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Luke: “Can’t stop it, sometimes it just happens. It just comes out of me.”

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Luke: Chuckling

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Luke: “I don’t like murderers, y’all!”

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Luke: “I know, right?”

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Luke: “I’ll dazzle you with one other deet.”

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Luke: Luke wants to lodge a small thorn of truth in Nancy Grace’s foot

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Luke: “Northwest Territory, uh, just a little south of Yellowknife. God, that is remote sounding.”

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Luke: “Oh my God!!!”

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Luke: “Please. There’s not paperwork.”

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Luke: “Pod-dog? Where is li’l Pod-dog? Umm, she is… (Perro) Actually, she’s Trench-Dog today. That sounds like that could be her rap name as well.”

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Luke: “Racism is wrong, y’all!”

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Luke: “Trench-Dog”

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Luke: “You know what? I was, I was cyberbullied to within an inch of my life last night. Okay? Don’t start with me.”

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Luke: “You suck!”

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Luke: “You’re a bad person if you’re, if you’re abusing…”

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Luke and Andrew: Andrew mean-mugging the camera and intense stare

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Luke and Andrew: Andrew saying “What you’re doing on this show is awful for humanity” would make for a good drop plus Marsupial Gurgle name drop

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Luke and Andrew: Caribou and Nunavut

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Luke and Andrew: “I would absolutely shit my Dockers, which is what I wear for mushroom hunting. (Mmm-hmm) I would shit my Dockers if there was a bear anywhere in my vicinity.”

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Luke and Andrew: “If you see something, shame something? Yeah.”

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Luke and Andrew: “It’s your photo, it’s your story, it’s your call. It’s a beautiful story, it’s not a beautiful photo.”

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Luke and Andrew: Luke describing how he would try to shut down Nancy Grace

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Luke and Andrew: Luke pulled a Nunavut joke and Andrew was late at catching it

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Luke and Andrew: Luke sings and make up lyrics to the “Forensic Files” theme song

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Luke and Andrew: “Wow! I didn’t know this… his debut single was ‘Toot It And Boot It’? Oh, that’s him?!? (This is what…) Wait, what?!?”

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Luke and Andrew: “Wow! Yeah. (Wow!) He was a real, like that’s… This is incredible, wow!”

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Andrew: “Don’t… don’t make it weird!”

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Andrew: “Glasses off, hair down.”

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Andrew: “Glasses off, hair whatever.”

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Andrew: “I honestly don’t know. I mean, I would just be a puddle of a mess.”

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Andrew: “I just look like a weirdo without glasses.”

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Andrew: “I’m just like, so eye-rolly, I’m just like, ‘Whatever’.”

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Andrew: “I’m just trying to make this about Canada.”

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Andrew: “It is so upsetting!”

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Andrew: “It is… weird looking.”

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Andrew: Laughing and saying “Right. Exactly.”

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Andrew: Laughing while saying “I don’t have that one. That’s the best one.”

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Andrew: “My driver license photo, I look like a man who just did something awful, and is kind of pleased with himself.”

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Andrew: “Nancy, what you’re doing on this show is awful for humanity.”

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Andrew: “Oh my God… how?”

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Andrew: “Oh, Lordy!”

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Andrew: “Oh, Nunavut! Son of a–I got it.”

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Andrew: “So I take off my glasses, they take this unflattering photo… The camera is a little bit below me, so just it’s a lot of chin. I have this kind of lazy eye thing, and it look like, my, my one eye might have been, just, a tiny bit wondering. I just look like a weirdo without glasses.”

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Andrew: “Sorry.”

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Andrew: “That’s weird!”

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Andrew: “The glasses are a huge part of my face.”

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Andrew: “This is an image I’ve never seen before in my life.”

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Andrew: “Uhhh, is the equipment working? We’re live!”

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Andrew: “Umm, that’s ambitious, but I like it.”

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Andrew: “What you’re doing on this show is awful for humanity.”

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Andrew: “When I take my glasses off, I’m very discombobulated.”

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Andrew and Luke: Andrew saying how he would shut down Nancy Grace

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Andrew and Luke: “Oh, your Music For Your Weekend. Oh, sorry, gotcha. He’s not out of the woods yet! (Ha-ha!)”

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Andrew and Luke: “The sad thing is… clearly, this story is a fake, right? You think so? No, I’m just joking.”

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Andrew and Luke: “Was it a bear problem… or a bear blessing!”

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Luke: “And he kind of whips it around in some kind of a bizarre, like, cinnamon roll of hair.”

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Luke: “And wondering (Perro) where the Pod-dog is… Yeah, that didn’t work.”

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Luke: “Bro-ing it up, as it were.”

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Luke: Chuckling

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Luke: “Cinnamon roll of hair”

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Luke: Giggling

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Luke: “I know!”

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Luke: “I’m a grown-ass man, I’m 40 years old. I’ve done… things.”

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Luke: “I’m in a world of pain, I’m in a world of hurt right here at the top of the show.”

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Luke: “I’m turning into the little kid I never was.”

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Luke: “I’ve got some thoughts on The Donald’s hair”

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Luke: “It would have been fodder for the show, because it would have killed me. So, I mean, it would have been kind of cool to narrate that, for the listeners; to get to, like just listen to like a three day process. By, during which time, a podcast host expires from physical exhaustion and exertion.”

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Luke: “It’s an art and science I’m well familiar with.”

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Luke: Laughing while Andrew is talking

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Luke: Making throat clearing noises and saying “Donald Trump” and “Paul Ryan”

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Luke: “Please save me.”

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Luke: “Please, tell me what I have to do to get you to make this cable go through this wall. Please.”

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Luke: Snickering

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Luke: “Well, yeah. Bourbon Street is just, basically, a river of throw up.”

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Luke: “Which, you’re almost never being a pain in anyone’s butt.”

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Luke: “Yeah, no. We’re doing, we’re doing it legit. We’re, we’re keeping it real.”

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Luke and Andrew: “Hey, we, we, we decided to make queso fundido (Right) with a side of Limburger. Right.”

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Luke and Andrew: “It would be great. It would be awful!”

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Luke and Andrew: “It would feel like ramen noodles covered in Aqua Net. Oof, oh God. Are you hungry? Yes! Mmm.”

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Luke and Andrew: “It’s not funny. It’s not funny, but it’s kind of funny to me. Yeah.”

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Luke and Andrew: “Look who made it, Pod-dog! Aww. What’s up dude?”

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Andrew: “Are you here to Dougie? Show me how to Dougie!”

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Andrew: “As far as I’m concerned, like, there’s no way any of those are getting in, into my mouth. It’s a Hidden Valley Ranch in my mouth.”

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Andrew: “Can we just go out? I don’t like food that you cook. Like, I would be just be like, ‘Show me!'”

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Andrew: Cute end to Andrew’s laugh

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Andrew: “Early onset grumpiness”

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Andrew: “For some reason, coming out of my mouth, it sounded weird; but, so do most words.”

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Andrew: “God damn it, that was my out.”

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Andrew: “Hello, Luke. How ya doin’?”

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Andrew: “Hey-hey, ho-ho-ho-ho.”

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Andrew: “History is not gonna be on my side when it comes to the air conditioner wars.”

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Andrew: “I don’t know. It’s just, it’s just what I like and what I don’t like.”

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Andrew: “I know, but it gets complicated.”

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Andrew: “I loved playing with fake trucks and real dirt.”

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Andrew: “I was pretty eye-rolly with him.”

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Andrew: “I’m such a weird, weird-ass, picky eater.”

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Andrew: “It was so good. It was so damn good.”

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Andrew: “It’s a Hidden Valley Ranch in my mouth.”

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Andrew: “Kids are turtling too much!”

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Andrew: “Like, cook as if I’m twelve.”

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Andrew: “Like, whatever.”

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Andrew: “Mayonnaise sandwich, or some shit.”

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Andrew: “Oh boy, let’s go. La-Di-Da, Cha-Cha-Cha.”

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Andrew: “Oh boy, let’s go. La-Di-Da, Cha-Cha-Cha.” #2

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Andrew: “Oh good, there’s salad! And then, somebody crumbled some sort of white and gray shitty cheese in here; and, you’re like, son of a bitch!”

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Andrew: “Oh, Dad.”

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Andrew: “Oh, hell yeah!”

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Andrew: “So, what’s, what’s a telephone?”

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Andrew: “Son of a bitch!”

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Andrew: “That was a weird thing to say.”

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Andrew: “That’s the one exception that proves the rule.”

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Andrew: “That’s the suburban Andrew in me.”

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Andrew: “Will you go in the hottub with me?”

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Andrew: “Will you go to prom with me?”

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Andrew and Luke: Andrew recommends Luke go “Sexy Beast” when the trench digger arrives

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Andrew and Luke: “It’s what they call 4-D theater, it really is just like… It was an (Yeah) immersive experience. Unfortunately, yeah, it was in Smell-O-Vision. Yes.”

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Andrew and Luke: Small Bites at the Throat Clearing Apple

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Andrew and Luke: “Somebody comes over here… This is the library at Howard University, what are you doing?”

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Andrew and Luke: “Would you say it was a trenchant story? Oh, shit! Ohh!!! God, now! No, I deserve the applause on that one.”

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Luke: “And the kids are just a brick in a wall!”

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Luke: “Andrew, today, I become a man.”

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Luke: “Daytime Emmy Award Winning bad boy of public radio”

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Luke: “Dear Uncle Luke and Whiskers Walsh”

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Luke: Drawn out “Oh, boy.”

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Luke: “Gaaaaahhhhhh!”

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Luke: “I smoked a righteous doob and I friggin’ lost my mind in Pink Floyd.”

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Luke: “I’m laughing and apologizing for my lack of faith; which, I know disturbs you.”

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Luke: “I’m not down with any of that Pink Floyd shit.”

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Luke: “If a Bloody Mary is too red, I’m headin’ back to bed.”

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Luke: “It really is days like these that make me chill, enjoy the ride.”

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Luke: “It’s kind of like having two different people have to have the codes for the nuclear annihilation of my life.”

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Luke: “It’s really knowing when to hold ’em and when to fold ’em, my friend. That was definitely a fold ’em situation.”

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Luke: “Life… hacked!”

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Luke: “Love ya. Love ya bunches.”

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Luke: Luke ate his full complement of parsnip chips before the show instead of during the show

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Luke: “Now, we’re gonna go down a weird rabbit hole.”

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Luke: Reading Andrew’s Cantonese nickname

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Luke: Reading Luke’s Cantonese nickname

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Luke: “Speaking of, of things that you may or may not be able to eat. That was a stretch.”

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Luke: “Stat”

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Luke: “Thick, thick, thick”

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Luke: “This guy’s full of dazzling deets and upsetting deuts.”

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Luke: Tongue clicking

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Luke: “We were just like, uh, you know, it was like we’re real boys, Andrew. We were real Boyz II Men; just, letting ourselves into Minnesota Public Radio.”

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Luke: Whistling

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Luke: “You are wrong, not once, but twice, my friend.”

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Luke: “You gotta stick around for that; for, it is a deet that will dazzle you.”

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Luke: “You know, step one and step two and [tongue clicking] Whisker’s your uncle.”

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Luke and Andrew: “Because, I am turning into an elderly person; who, if I don’t have my saccharine(!)… Mmm-hmm.”

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Luke and Andrew: “Can I tell you the other thing that’s in my, my travel bag that I have with me at all times; that, has all of the essentials in my life? Is it an ointment? It isn’t an ointment! Okay, good. Then, yes… Mercifully.”

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Luke and Andrew: “I’m the bad boy of public radio, Andrew. Right, exactly. Daytime Emmy Award Winning bad boy of public radio.”

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Luke and Andrew: Luke starts singing “I’m a Believer” as Neil Diamond

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Luke and Andrew: “Reaching the end of the road and Andrew failed in making a spoof”

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Andrew had a little bit of fun with the name “Guy Fieri” on the show by exaggerating the last name more and more each time Andrew said it.

Andrew and Luke: “Guy Fieri. Oh, wait, no. How am I supposed to say it now? Guy Fieri. Is that how I’m supposed to say it? Fieri. No, I think it’s the way I said it. Mmm-hmm. Anyway… Agree to disagree.”

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Andrew: Saying “Guy Fieri” in an exaggerated manner

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Andrew: Saying “Guy Fieri” in an even more exaggerated manner

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Andrew and Luke: Each time Andrew says “Guy Fieri”, it gets stretched out more and more

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In the clip above, Luke hoped that Andrew would end up lengthening and further exaggerating the way he says “Fieri” to the point where it would take up the entire show. For sanity’s sake, I attempted to create a version in which saying Guy Fieri’s name lasted for a wee bit over 7 seconds. To be honest, it is about 6.9 seconds too long.

Andrew: Stretched “Guy Fieri”

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Andrew: “#WordsOfBizdom”

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Andrew: “Ahhh, I enjoy a good sit.”

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Andrew: “And I’m not trying to talk you out of it, and I swear I’m not trying to take the piss out of the story.”

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Andrew: “Do you have a hard out… today? Do you have a hard…time that you have to be out? Sorry, that might have sounded weird to people who just didn’t quite hear what I said.”

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Andrew: Flat “Notice me suk suk”

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Andrew: “Half funny, mostly bitchy”

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Andrew: “Hoo-hoo”

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Andrew: “I could be part of this show for so long; and yet, still be so wrong”

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Andrew: “I could be part of this show for so long; and yet, still be so wrong about one of its founding principles. The principle in this case is ‘California Got Sunshine’.”

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Andrew: “I have a confession to make”

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Andrew: “I’ll make love to you?”

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Andrew: “I’ll make love to you? Oh, gah… Oh, that was weird! Nope, nope. I was just trying to spoof!”

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Andrew: “I’m your fact checking cuz.”

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Andrew: “If my state ID won’t get me where I want to go; then, I didn’t want to go there anyway. I’m talking to you, Canada.”

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Andrew: Laughing

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Andrew: “Like, whatever.”

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Andrew: “Mmm-hmm”

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Andrew: “Now, I’ve, I’ve got the keys to the kingdom over there.”

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Andrew: “Oh.”

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Andrew: “Oh, no. I forgot about that.”

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Andrew: “Oh, of course.”

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Andrew: “Oh, shit!”

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Andrew: “Oh, yeah!”

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Andrew: “Persona non bearda”

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Andrew: Saying “I know!” and laughing

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Andrew: Saying “Notice me suk suk, notice…” while Luke was talking

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Andrew: Snorting

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Andrew: “Wow. Lot, lot of, lot of upsettingness in that, in that introduction right there.”

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Andrew and Luke: “And then it was #WordsOfBizdom. And that was up there… (Gaaaaahhhhhh!)”

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Andrew and Luke: “Hold on, though. I wish I had said, ‘You are now gonna be persona non bearda’. I don’t think you do. I, no, I do wish I had said that; but, I wish that I had said it in a funnier way.”

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Andrew and Luke: “I always kept it in my back pocket and I was touching it every two seconds; which, is why I kept on touching my ass, Luke. Bro!”

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Andrew and Luke: “Look! There’s a turkey slider on it! It’s like (Right) if I want a turkey slider, I would’ve ordered a fucking turkey slider!”

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Andrew and Luke: “Oh, shit! It’s all, of course, and, and I knew that! Now, I’m just mmm… (Umm, yeah, that, that’s…) Hoo-hoo.”

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