Category: Audio Clips

Audio Clips

Clips From TBTL #2674

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Andrew: “Come on!!”

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Andrew: “I do not think that is the proper nomenclature, dude”

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Andrew: “I mean, this sounds like I’m being glib”

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Andrew: “It’s not my job to police the world. It, it’s… just not”

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Andrew: “Like, I feel like I had been staring at this… bag of bones… which, is never something you wanna hear somebody say”

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Andrew: Making a marsupial burp-like sound

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Andrew: “Nice!”

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Andrew: “Ooh, ooh, ooh!”

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Andrew: “You do, you do have a dirty knob”

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Andrew: “You know what I got in the freezer here… big bag full of bones… and celery butts”

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Andrew and Luke: Andrew staring at a bag of bones and Luke thinks that a recording of Andrew saying that may be used as evidence

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Andrew and Luke: “God, listen to the bass on that. I think that that’s your dirty knob again, unfortunately… it’s distorting everything… Oh, there it is. It’s clean… Will you leave my dirty knob out of this, for once?”

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Andrew and Luke: “This is somebody that you guys do not know… and, you will never know! Umm… Was it Toomgis?”

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Andrew and Luke: “This is, this is a weird episode. This is just where I, where I talk about my weird interactions with dogs… I like it!”

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Andrew, David Burbank and Luke: “He also says… ‘No, I didn’t, I didn’t… (Hey, Andrew) I didn’t exercise… I just went for a long jog’… You asshole. (Exactly) Get off my podcast!”

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David Burbank and Luke: Laughing

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Luke: “And, by popular… demand… by which I mean one person on Twitter… we will have… a TBTL: No Point Conversion (I mean, I figured he had to be in sport; but, he wasn’t in sport!)”

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Luke: “Byeee!”

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Luke: “DFTB”

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Luke: “Exciting, exciting times for me”

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Luke: “Fuck that… by the way”

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Luke: “Here’s three minutes and forty seconds of our lives we’ll never get back”

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Luke: “I suffer from male-pattern laser… baldness”

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Luke: “I’ll polish that knob up later”

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Luke: “I’ll see you on the road to Oyster Dome”

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Luke: “I’ll tell you about a… a ‘travel yeah!!!'”

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Luke: “It is… episode two-thousand, six-hundred… Excuse me… Two-thousand, six-hundred and seventy-three… that’s what I meant to say… (Ooooh!) in a collector’s series” [ed: No, it’s not. It’s episode #2674]

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Luke: “It’s not enough”

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Luke: “Okay… Who’s going first?”

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Luke: Singing “Young body”

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Luke: “The American bald eagle has never been more popular… then (?)… landing on James Packton’s–Paxton’s shoulder!”

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Luke: “This lady seemed… a little extra”

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Luke: “Two oysters enter! One oyster leaves!”

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Luke: “What!?!”

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Luke: “When I’m getting down to the lower parts of the… trying to turn the Enya down, I can hear that kinda crunchy sound… in the knob. I do not like that”

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Luke and Andrew: “Good… Monday to you, my friend. Good morning… my lord”

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Luke and Andrew: “I better not meet this Toomgis… because, I will pull some of his Red Vines out… I will throw him down by his Red Vines… because, and, the ci–and, the cinnamon… and, the cinnamon bun hands… I believe that what his hands are made of. You’re right”

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Luke and Andrew: “Yes. So, don’t get cocky. You’re not my only friend from Cleveland. Alright… Fine… I’m sure he exists”

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Audio Clips

Clips From TBTL #2673

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Andrew: “Are you listening, Pixar?”

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Andrew: “At this point, somehow, I’m, like, knee-deep in, like… Dionne Warwick”

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Andrew: “But, Luke, as you would say… that… got on top of me”

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Andrew: “Do you want me to tell you… I, I have a story that I want to tell you. But, I don’t know if it’s a little bit on the edge for TBTL; because, it involves… You know what? Well, I started it; so, I’m just gonna tell ya”

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Andrew: “Ha-haa!”

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Andrew: “Hate myself for saying that”

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Andrew: “I don’t wanna paint myself as a pothead”

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Andrew: “I saw this thing popping up all over the place”

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Andrew: “I think I got–just got done with this thing, I was just like, ‘Alright! This is it! This is the moment I’ve been visualizing for two weeks!’ And, somehow, it all just turned into a weird… slough inside of me. Is slough a word?”

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Andrew: “I’m telling this story kinda badly”

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Andrew: “Like, I don’t know… I guess I’ll put a… poster of a hot rod on my wall”

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Andrew: “Make Safeco Field… your man cave”

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Andrew: “Mmm, I don’t know why. Probably, because, I’m going through stuff”

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Andrew: “Oh my God! I’ve been staring at this e-mail for a long time”

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Andrew: Quietly saying “Oh, man!”

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Andrew: Quietly saying “Yeah, that’s effed up”

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Andrew: Singing “Hot diggity-dog, diggity-doo”

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Andrew: “So, I go to the store to buy some beer; because… again… doctor’s orders”

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Andrew: “That’s effed up”

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Andrew: “What the eff?”

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Andrew: “Which is all stuff that I hated as a kid. My dad loved The Carpenters. My dad loved Dionne Warwick… I hate all the soft rock crap”

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Andrew and Luke: “A rolly bag, it looks like is a brand name of something you put on your motor-sickle… Also, my family says, ‘motor-sickle’… Not true. Ha!”

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Andrew and Luke: Andrew laughing and Luke saying “Andrew would be singing ‘Classic Tan’ right now”

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Andrew and Luke: Rolly coasters, rolly bags and motor-sickles

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Andrew and Luke: “That’s the 101. How can you even tell if it’s shut down? Hey-oh! (Ugh)”

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Andrew and Luke: “What’s your name, little girl? Who’s your daddy? Is he rich like me? (Ewww!)”

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Andrew and Luke: “You need any tips? Teach me, sensei… and, then… and, then… notice me, Senpai. Notice me”

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Luke: “And, he’s a big boy!”

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Luke: “Everybody’s working for the weekend… Everyone wants a little romance. Everybody’s going off the deep end. Everybody needs a second chance… You want a piece of my heart? You better start from the start”

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Luke: “I have… the alcohol… but not the know-how”

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Luke: “I’m getting a baseball bat!”

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Luke: “iCal rules everything around me”

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Luke: “It’s my happiness right now”

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Luke: Saying “Here I go once again with the Music for Your Weekend” as Strong Bad

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Luke: Saying “It’s a ’97 Chrysler Sebring” as a TV game show host or announcer

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Luke: “This is the part, Andrew, where you… tell us the song that you are gonna recommend for the listeners; and then, I… think of the song I’m gonna recommend for the listeners while your song is playing”

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Luke: “What!?”

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Luke: “You know what? I got no one to blame but myself for that”

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Luke: “You want a piece of my heart? Better start from the start. You wanna be in the show? Come on, baby, let’s go”

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Luke and Andrew: “Even when we’re not hanging out, we are hanging out together in our… in our brains (Yeah)”

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Audio Clips

Clips From TBTL #2672

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Andrew: Enjoying some bass beats a little too much

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Andrew: “How are we gonna fight space ISIS?”

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Andrew: “I will steal all the butter for him”

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Andrew: “I’m just so not a car guy”

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Andrew: Laughing

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Andrew: “Like, I could just… have, like, stop the tape in the middle of it and just started making fart noises with my armpits”

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Andrew: Making two curious sounds

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Andrew: “Oh, no. You went there”

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Andrew: Quiet “Ooh!”

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Andrew: Singing “Like a rollin'”

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Andrew: Singing “Like a tepid hot tub”

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Andrew: “Teach me, Luke… Teach me”

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Andrew: “Whoa”

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Andrew: “Whoa! Ties!”

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Andrew and Luke: “I throw your butter down the stairs… He says something like that. (And, you will…) You will cry… and, you say… and, I will say, ‘Haha!’)”

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Andrew and Luke: “Rest in peace, Radio Shack… Rest in… (These look… like… good… hands!)”

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Andrew and Luke: Singing “Floated a check… at Shoney’s for my daughter. Dance my… (Kited… kited a check at the Safeway on Capitol Hill)”

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Andrew and Luke: Singing “They (They) say it’s your birthday… (I don’t like birthdays) It’s my birthday, too, yeah”

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Andrew and Luke: “Sunday, Sunday, (Yes!) Sunday! You pay for the whole (Yes) TBTL-a-Thon; but, you only need the edge!”

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Luke: “A whoa tie! What!?”

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Luke: “Dear… God in Heaven”

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Luke: “I love me the salt”

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Luke: “It doesn’t chime or rhyme!”

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Luke: “Protes my goats”

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Luke: Quietly saying “We could do whatever we want!”

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Luke: Saying “Free government programs!” as Matthew Lesko

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Luke: Saying “Oh, no you di’int” in a sing-songy manner

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Luke: Singing “They say it’s your birthday… it’s my birthday, too, yeah!”

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Luke: “This is a, a travesty of a mockery of a sham of… two travesties of a mockery of a… bland… dish… cuz… I love me the salt”

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Luke: “This is what kids do”

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Luke: “This one goes to one hundred”

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Luke: “Well, I’m the king of the castle and she’s the dirty rascal”

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Luke: “When I’m in my man cave, opening my man crate… that’s where I’m allowed to have my Elle Macpherson posters”

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Luke and Andrew: “Hey, I have an idea for the song to go out with… Great, good. I’ll play it from my end; but, you shoot it at me like a smoker”

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Luke and Andrew: Luke does not like the opening lines of The Beatles’ “Birthday”

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Luke and Andrew: “Notice me, Senpai? Notice me, Senpai. Notice me”

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Luke and Andrew: “What if there is a verification? What if they… what if there’s two… second… two-party verification on this GNC purchased? Were you stoned? This is a high level of paranoia for the middle of the day, my friend”

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Audio Clips

Clips From TBTL #2671

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Andrew: “An angel is just a boy that poops in a box”

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Andrew: “And, also, didn’t… didn’t… isn’t there a remix I’m supposed to play of that… I’m not supposed to say his name on the show anymore; but, our, our friend who sends us a lot of audio… didn’t he send us a remix of that; or, I promised to make a remix with you saying ‘Ooh’? Something. I don’t know. What the hell am I talking about? Go on. Tell your story, Luke”

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Andrew: “I don’t have any show titles, Lucas”

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Andrew: “I don’t know what happened”

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Andrew: “I know that I’m taking this… conversation into a place that… you and I can’t explain… So, maybe, I shouldn’t”

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Andrew: “I was #blessed”

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Andrew: “‘I was Walsh-level thrilled'”

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Andrew: Imitating the sound of Luke typing with his mouth full

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Andrew: “Just… before the show, I was rolling in hot dog related music. And, again… think about what my job is, I just spent like an hour listening to songs about hot dogs”

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Andrew: Laughing

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Andrew: “Obviously… that is the platonic ideal of a hot dog cannon. Ain’t nobody on Earth gonna argue with that”

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Andrew: “Somehow, seeing this makes me happy; although, I would never touch them myself”

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Andrew: “We did it!”

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Andrew: “Were you… a guy who ate Planters cheese balls growing up? They came in kind of a… kind of a can, like a tubular can with a, a yellow lid and the, the… the cheese balls inside were, like, perfect spheres, about a size of a marble?”

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Andrew: “What could possibly go wrong?”

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Andrew and Luke: Andrew unhelpfully said that Blursday shout-outs happen on Blursday

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Andrew and Luke: French ticking boxes

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Andrew and Luke: “Nobody was cocky about it; but, they were… thorough… Good… and (and)… thorough (thorough)”

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Luke: “But, can we start calling… all messages, ‘Dazzling D-mails’?”

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Luke: “By the way, this is not even having anything to do with the story I meant to tell”

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Luke: Drawn out “What?”

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Luke: “I am just, I am feeling so good, you guys. I am so happy to be back here… for a total of… one day”

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Luke: “I mean, I went into a fugue eating state”

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Luke: “I mean… listen… you do you. YOLO, YODO”

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Luke: “It’s okay if it looks like it’s from the 1500s… Stop trying to paint its bald spot… Just leave it alone”

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Luke: Singing “We’re gonna put on some ketchup… then some mustard… because, we only have one kind of song”

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Luke: “So, anyway, we’ll… tell you about… the latest… example of art restoration… gone amoke”

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Luke: “That’s as much as my feeble brain… four red wines in, could really grasp”

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Luke: “Two bros… baching it up”

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Luke: “What the motherfucking… fuck… is the system here!?”

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Luke: “You know, my fecalist was out of town; so, I could eat anything I wanted”

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Luke: “You poor fool”

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Luke: “You were straight… grubbin’!”

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Luke and Andrew: Fist City and Headbutt Town

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Audio Clips

Clips From TBTL #2670

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Andrew: “Andrew doesn’t have time for this kind of foolishness right now”

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Andrew: “Damn! That is some… high octane bullshit”

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Andrew: “‘Damn! Why can’t that be me?’ and ‘Damn! Good for you’ and ‘Damn! That is some… high octane bullshit'”

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Andrew: “Hey, man! This feels so weird… Feels weird to just be sitting in a cozy, little studio… looking at birds out my window while I talk to you… I almost forgot, I’ve lost all of my muscle memory of how to do the show from here. I feel like… if today’s gonna be successful, I… have no choice but to walk out on to Roosevelt… put thumb out… and see what happens”

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Andrew: “Hunh!”

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Andrew: “I don’t know why I keep on saying this today”

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Andrew: “I, I… I just wrote the F word… because, I didn’t have any other feelings”

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Andrew: “I, I’m not even gonna lie to you, Luke… I’m, I swear to God, this is… little bit of real talk”

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Andrew: “Oh, no!”

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Andrew: “Sounds good”

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Andrew: “That’s really effed up!”

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Andrew: “This is gonna sound really lame after what you were talking about”

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Andrew: “This is just… too beautiful to eat”

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Andrew: “Uhhh! I don’t wanna talk about this. I just wanna drive the truck!”

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Andrew: “We have some gas behind us”

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Andrew: “What the hell is going down there in Monee, Illinois?”

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Andrew: “You have five fingers. You don’t wanna… cut any of them off”

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Andrew and Luke: “Does he go by ‘Daddy’? (… ‘Papa’) Ahh! No he doesn’t, Andrew!”

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Andrew and Luke: “Ouch!!! (It’s like, ‘Aw, shit!’)”

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Luke: “And… it… friggin’… hurt!”

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Luke: “As soon as you hit that gas, as soon as you go… you take that brake foot, you put it in the glove box”

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Luke: “Commit… commit, commit”

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Luke: Cute laugh

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Luke: “Full of gas… homies”

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Luke: “I am scared of more things at forty-two than I was when I was at nine or ten”

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Luke: “I am still living life on the highway. I am… on my way home, finally… Although, I just found out that my flight is delayed… so, I may not make my connection… So, home… may be… the food court at Sea-Tac Airport in Seattle”

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Luke: “I did do that one… bitchin’ jump where I rolled over; so, like, my cred is still pretty good”

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Luke: “I did the jump… I rolled, we have good footage… I’m done”

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Luke: “I had a sort of a critical moment in my life yesterday… where, I had to decide between being afraid of something… and, just… doing it… and, I chose… to be sort of afraid of something… and, that something was… jumping off of a huge ramp in a monster truck”

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Luke: “I might just start traveling… with a gigantic-ass backpack”

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Luke: “I was weirdly geeked out”

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Luke: “Oh… shit! We just killed this guy from CBS”

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Luke: “Okay. Mission accomplished”

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Luke: “Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh! Oh no, oh no!”

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Luke: “Really!?”

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Luke: Singing “TBTE!”

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Luke: “Sorry if this story is boring and taking too long”

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Luke: “Stu, are you at the river yet?”

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Luke: “They’ve never heard of TBTL… Who told you that… Get outta here… Please do not associate… that program with our program”

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Luke: “This has been… Top Stories”

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Luke: “This thing is loose… but, I think you can get one more jump out if it. And… then…”

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Luke: “Time to lean? Time to clean”

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Luke: “We will be right back here tomorrow. I will be coming to you from Burbank Springs. Lord willing and the creeks don’t rise”

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Luke: “Womp, womp”

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Luke: “You’re easy-breezy about Tunisi [sic]“

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Luke and Andrew: Luke needs to go use a bathroom and is asking Andrew if he should walking into a Super 8 in which there is police activity going on and ask to use the bathroom

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Luke and Andrew: Luke saying “It’s like that time I was driving the monster truck, Andrew” and both having a good laugh

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Luke and Andrew: “That whole twenty-four hour show was kind of a blur… Yeah, everything I’ve said on this show… since I started in 2012 is a blur”

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Audio Clips

Clips From TBTL #2669

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Andrew: “Catholic guilt”

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Andrew: “Cleanliness is next to podliness. Nice!”

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Andrew: “Everybody, close your eyes and close your ears. This is just me and Luke here”

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Andrew: “God…damnit! This guy won’t leave the hotel! He keeps going back for one more thing!”

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Andrew: “Here I am. A guy that can’t call a stoner cab, can’t call a Lyft, can’t rent a car”

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Andrew: “Hey, man! I want y’all to know… Thank you, all… I do want you to know, that I am exactly, like literally, exactly, right now, two-and-a-half hours into a 5-Hour Energy drink… So, we got about two-and-a-half hours… then it’s over. So, let’s get going”

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Andrew: “I dunno. People keep telling me to do it!”

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Andrew: “I like the way you didn’t believe how you felt”

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Andrew: “I literally could not”

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Andrew: “I mean, it’s no Fighting Okra shirt; but, shit!”

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Andrew: “It’s… highly erotic!”

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Andrew: “Not to derail this too much; but… there were a couple of times that I looked at you; and, I realized, you are experiencing what Genevieve experiences a lot, and does not love… Which is… getting me to leave… the house or a room”

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Andrew: “Oh my God. I’ll wash your sheets”

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Andrew: “‘Oh, Luke. So glad to see you back with your antics'”

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Andrew: “Oh-ho!!! This is bad-ass. I’m not gonna lie to you”

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Andrew: “Ohhh! It’s my apron! It’s my cleaning apron”

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Andrew: Saying “Unlimited!” along with everyone at the live show

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Andrew: Singing “Is he rich like me?”

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Andrew: “This guy answers the phone and he’s on a cell phone… and, he is stoned. I mean, he is stoned as shit”

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Andrew: “This is a thing: The Fighting Okra!?”

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Andrew: “This smells nice!”

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Andrew: “Too many details”

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Andrew: “Wow! This crowd does not trust us, man”

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Andrew and Luke: “Ah, shit! (Oh, shit!) You done did it… Y’all are crazy”

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Andrew and Luke: Luke offered to be Andrew’s assistant but then disappeared the moment Andrew needed help posting the show

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Andrew and Luke: “Sometimes I don’t even have chest pockets and I just pat my chest. It’s, it’s… highly erotic! (Yeah) I think, you might even say, ‘Oh, ‘Explicit’!'”

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Andrew and Luke: “The dispatcher (Stoner Cab) was in the car!”

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Andrew and Luke: “There is definitely a moment… that I took my deodorant and rubbed it all over my face outside of an Office Depot… (True story) in Kansas City… I mean, we’ve all been there”

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Andrew and Luke: “You were getting mad… at us? Irritated? Describe your feelings. Leave no adjective out. And, describe them honestly. It’s okay. We can take it (Yeah)”

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Andrew, Jami Nettles and Luke: “You paint your yard spot? If it took it. Sick! (Sick!) Sick!”

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Jami Nettles: “No, baby. No”

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Jen: Recorded message for the TBTL Tens

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Luke: “All y’all really went all out”

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Luke: “By the way, game-changer”

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Luke: “He was like, ‘A TBT-What?'”

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Luke: “If you wanna just take… ten minutes of the show… and, just, kind of, make it your own; we’re gonna call it, ‘Jami’s Fun Times'”

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Luke: “Luke… Luke… Luke”

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Luke: “Meme Police… Luke Burbank… Compliance Officer”

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Luke: “No, I’ve been shitting like a maniac… but, I just didn’t wanna talk about it; cuz, we’re a very classy show”

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Luke: “Oh, fucking cops”

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Luke: “There is… a lot going on”

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Luke: “This feels fucking great”

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Luke: “We are gonna do, kind of, a… I guess, it’s sort of like: E-mails and V-mails, Live!”

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Luke and Andrew: “Are you sad to hear me say that? Should I… No, I’m not sad; and, I’m not surprised (Okay)”

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Luke and Andrew: Laughing

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Luke and Andrew: “McAlister’s number two. McAlister’s the Second”

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Luke and Andrew: One of Andrew’s low points during the trip was when he mistakenly rubs deodorant all over his face

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Luke and Andrew: “The idea of you sitting… on one of the listener’s beds… Is that a line too far?”

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Luke and Andrew: “You know… I started that as a joke; but, then, I just never stopped joking about it. And, I guess, now that the ‘thon is over, that’s the name of the ‘thon, Andrew… I love it, Luke!”

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Luke and Jami Nettles: “Did this thing cost you five thousand dollars to win? My family just… learned that I’m a Dazzling Donor; so, let’s just don’t go there. Okay. Alright. Fair… That’s fair”

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Sean, Luke and Andrew: Sean teaching how to use the contraction “Y’all”

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