Category: Audio Clips

Audio Clips

Clips From TBTL #2668: Part Two

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Kai Ryssdal: “So, I heard you guys want me to talk about fecal matter, for some reason? Well, that’s just shitty… Congratulations on the TBTL-a-Thon, you guys. Good luck… keep up the good work”

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Luke: “Easy, Tennessee Williams”

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Luke: “I didn’t land on club sandwich. Club sandwich landed on me”

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Luke: “I got Wooster [sic] on the brain”

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Luke: “I’m not trying to victim blame here”

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Luke: “I’m not… quite… there yet”

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Luke: “No donation too small; and, good luck to all”

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Luke: “Nope. Too scary for me”

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Luke: “Pander Express”

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Luke: Saying “Yeah!” as Adam Duritz

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Luke: Saying “Yeah!” as Adam Duritz #2

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Luke: Singing “Sloppy Joe, slop, Sloppy Joe”

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Luke: “That’s scary! I would be freaked out”

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Luke: “Well… maybe this backpack will save my life”

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Luke: “Yeah! To blathe”

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Luke: “You’re right. It’s weird”

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Luke: “You’ve heard of a pregnant pause… this was like a Jon and Kate Plus 8… pause”

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Luke and Andrew: “I ate way too much food. I feel really uncomfortable. Hey, that’s my line”

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Luke and Andrew: “I feel like I just heard my teacher swear! I know”

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Luke and Andrew: “Power out!”

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Luke and Andrew: “Power out! Why did that sound like Schwarzenegger? I don’t know. That’s your impression of Australian!?”

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Luke and Andrew: Singing “You wanna raft… violently. Uh-huh… Side-to-side”

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Luke and Andrew: “The Philadelphia Phanatic is the most sued… mascot in sports. Which is beautiful! He should be, right? Yes”

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Luke and Andrew: “Well… he’s said some racist stuff; but, it’s im…ma…terial”

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Luke and Kristina Lopez: “If I remember right, Mississippi was on the right side of the Civil War, right? You know what? That’s between you and your god… Damn, Daniel. That’s a diplomatic answer”

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Luke and Kristina Lopez: Luke wonders how many people tried fried green tomatoes after watching the movie “Fried Green Tomatoes” and Kristina then mentioned the novel the movie was based on

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Luke, Kristina Lopez and Andrew: “The Slip N Dip? Yeah, the Slip N Dip… More like… I’m gonna slip a disc! Oh, God! Why am I talking today!?”

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Audio Clips

Clips From TBTL #2668: Part One

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Andrew: “Again, kind of out of my snoopiness”

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Andrew: “Ah, I don’t, I don’t follow those bozos. I don’t follow politics. It’s all a bunch of bullshit”

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Andrew: “Ahh… America’s too litigious! That’s bullshit!”

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Andrew: “Big, honking sandwich”

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Andrew: “Damnit. Why did I order that?”

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Andrew: “For some reason… I always just feel like I’ve been caught doing something when somebody at American Public Media acknowledges that we exist. That’s not healthy”

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Andrew: “Go screw yourself”

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Andrew: “Hey, Lurnk and Yandy”

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Andrew: “How dare you put that song back in my head?”

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Andrew: “I didn’t wanna go out there, under the baking sun, feeling just bloated and gross… but, nonetheless… I persisted”

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Andrew: “I have Bluetoothed my way into the Sonata’s stereo”

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Andrew: “I’m sitting here like a… fat, happy hog right now in the passenger seat of a Sonata”

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Andrew: “I’ve got this huge plate now of a sandwich… french fries; cuz, they didn’t confiscate my french fries… out of my cold, dead hand, Hop Cat!”

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Andrew: “Is it even a hot dog anymore?”

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Andrew: “It’s a little bit of a, just a, snoopy thing”

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Andrew: “It’s a weird thing that makes no sense at all!”

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Andrew: “Nobody answered the question about duct taped hot dogs; which is bullshit reporting… It’s bunk journalism, man”

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Andrew: “Of course, I would eat that damn hot dog!”

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Andrew: “Oh, God. I ate too much”

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Andrew: “Oh, no!”

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Andrew: Singing “TBTL”

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Andrew: “So, you know what the implications of that is… are… What the implications of that are… Implications are plural”

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Andrew: “Unlike me, I actually did leave a little bit of the sandwich behind too… Sorry, sandwich”

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Andrew: “What does this mean for the future of the hot dog cannon?”

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Andrew: “What is the point of a hot dog cannon… if you’re just shooting… bullets of essentially duct tape. Makes no sense”

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Andrew: “Whoa!”

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Andrew: “Yeah, it’s like Fifty-two Pickup… Go screw yourself”

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Andrew: “You know, her life could be… could not be less like mine… Huh? I probably said that wrong. You follow… It’s bene a long week, man. My brain is not, my brain is not working well. We were also up very late last night; so… I apologize for not making tons of sense”

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Andrew: “You know, some people are just bullshitters, right?”

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Andrew and Luke: Andrew is relieved to be in a rental car and hopes the listeners aren’t mad

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Andrew and Luke: Andrew singing “TBTL” and Luke laughing

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Andrew and Luke: “Hey, there. It’s a Hyundai Sonata, I believe. Oh, Kia… Kia, Hyundai… tomayto, tomahto [ph]“

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Andrew and Luke: “I am gonna hold my microphone to the speaker of the car and play these off of my phone; and… I’m sure it will just go fabulously… Oh, yeah. I can’t see how this will ever go wrong”

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Andrew and Luke: “Just be cool man. This is gonna be a long drive, dude”

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Andrew and Luke: Saying “Yeah! Yeah” as Adam Duritz

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Andrew and Luke: “Should we make a pact that, if we pass a hitchhiker between here and our destination of Columbus, Mississippi… to be true to the spirit of this, we have to pick up the hitchhiker? No, flipping way! Are you out of your mind? No!”

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Andrew and Luke: “They was trying to say that I was drunk. I only had eight beers! Try was trying to say I activated this lady’s asymptomatic… arthritis… I only had two knee surgeries!”

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Andrew and Luke: “You know, we were saying we were gonna get there by hook or by crook; and, it turned out, it was more like… by Hertz… or by crook… That was terrible. I can’t believe… He just made that joke”

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Audio Clips

Clips From TBTL #2667

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Andrew: “He’s at a stop light with his mom looking at him, who… looking at us… then, as she slowly drives by, he throws two damn pennies at my damn face… and laughs at my face!”

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Andrew: “I am furious at that little shit right now”

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Andrew: “I don’t have a disco bone in my body”

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Andrew: “I don’t know what’s going on with me”

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Andrew: “It’s Blursday! It’s Blursday wherever you are”

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Andrew: “Nah!”

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Andrew: “No, but you nailed it though. I’m a total Disco Duck!”

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Andrew: “Oh, yeah!!!”

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Andrew: “Please?”

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Andrew: Saying “I’m a wizard!” in a funny manner

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Andrew: Saying “Mark” in a drawn-out, goat-like manner

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Andrew: Singing “TBTL!”

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Andrew: “Vaping good in the neighborhood”

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Andrew: “Wow! I wanna be the Duck Master… You be the Gatekeeper”

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Andrew: “Yeah, I know. We’re a little disappointed in you. I gotta be honest. How did you not anticipate this?”

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Andrew: “Yes! It is so weird!”

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Andrew: “You’re in the Baptist Bible Belt, baby”

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Andrew and Luke: “And, so… you, you, you bend over, you talk to him through his window… I dunno why I need to mention you bent over… It was a highlight… You talk to, you… I want you to stare into the Gideons Bible and apologize… ‘kay? I don’t know what’s going on with me”

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Andrew and Luke: “It’s kind of a stunt. Like, we’re fun. Look at us! We’re fun, flirty… (Yeah) let us ride… We’ll dance for pennies (Right)”

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Andrew and Luke: “She was kinda going after me a little bit more… She smelled fear. Yeah”

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Andrew and Luke: “We can’t (Yes) let your social awkwardness put us (Right) in a dangerous situation; that is the stupidest thing we could do… Uh, no… this whole trip is the stupidest thing we could do”

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Kristina Lopez and Andrew: “By the way, I’m totally creeping in, like, being a little lurker on that… sTens Fan Page; and, I’m enjoying the conversations that are happening there. Don’t lurk! Be a… be… loud and proud on that page”

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Luke: “Create in me a clean heart… O, Munger Moss Motel”

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Luke: “Fuck this”

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Luke: “Gosh darn it. We really put our foot in our mouth; and, I apologize”

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Luke: “Hey, you know… a wave and twenty-five cents will get you a stick of gum… How about a ride!!!?”

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Luke: “I already know what your brain’s trying to do… Fight it”

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Luke: “I apologize. That was so much… dirtier than I meant it to be”

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Luke: “I mean, unfortunately, we’d have to discover some kind of… crime down here and report on it. Oh, wait. In the Dark is doing that… Our version would be called, ‘In the Snark'”

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Luke: Imitating dial tone sound

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Luke: “Live from the Starlight Room at the Munger Moss Motel… this is TBTL… Champagne dreams and…”

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Luke: “Lurnk… don’t lurk!”

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Luke: “Not saying they suck. I’m just saying they’re not us; so, obviously, they suck kind of hard… Wish I wouldn’t have used ‘hard’ at the end of that sentence”

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Luke: Saying “Nope!” in a funny manner

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Luke: Saying “Not… gonna do it” as Dana Carvey doing an impression of George H. W. Bush

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Luke: Singing “Space between”

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Luke: “That is… open jealousy and insecurity for me”

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Luke: “We’re starting to really, kind of… become… goofy and loopy”

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Luke: “Where’s the Bible Belt? Wherever Andrew is, baby!”

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Luke: “Where’s the party at? (Party!!!) It’s wherever he’s at… baby!”

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Luke and Andrew: “Here’s the part where you sing, ‘TBTL’… TBTL!”

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Luke and Andrew: “I’m… openly… butt-hurt that it isn’t us… even though… How much of that is an act? None of it, sadly (Really?)”

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Luke and Andrew: If Luke and Andrew were robbed while hitchhiking or after being picked up, TBTL is over

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Luke and Andrew: “Is that why… Kai Ryssdal said… yesterday that the markets were ‘Poop diddy whoop scoop… poop’? (I think so) I, I assume”

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Luke and Andrew: Laughing

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Luke and Andrew: “Let’s be honest, though… McSweeney’s… screams white. It’s like the whitest sounding website in the history of websites (Yeah)”

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Luke and Andrew: Saying “Not… should’nt’ve… should’nt have do it… Shouldn’t have done it… Not gonna do it” as Dana Carvey doing an impression of George H. W. Bush

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Luke and Andrew: The vibe of McSweeney’s are almost ridic

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Audio Clips

Clips From TBTL #2666

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Andrew: “Choo-choo”

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Andrew: “Diggstown!”

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Andrew: “I’m okay, now”

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Andrew: “I’ve hitchhiked. Yay”

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Andrew: Laughing

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Andrew: “‘Luke! Glad to see you here. You’re up to your usual antics again!'”

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Andrew: Singing “O’Hungry’s”

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Andrew: “Sorry… my brain just went somewhere”

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Andrew: “Things didn’t get… weird”

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Andrew: “Where, where, uhh… where is the party at? It is wherever… (I cannot believe he just told that joke) it is wherever I am… baby”

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Andrew: “Where’s the party? Wherever I am, baby!”

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Andrew: “Wherever I am, baby!”

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Andrew: “Wherever I am, baby!” #2

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Andrew: Whispering “I’ve been researching how to ride the rails”

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Andrew: “Yes, this is about you, Tony!”

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Andrew and Luke: “Ohh!”

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Andrew and Luke: Stickless bindles

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Andrew and Luke: “Those salt explosions, those… (Oh my God) heart attacks in a meat casing that we were chowing down on the bus yesterday… By the way… you’re new nickname is… ‘Heart Attack in a Meat Casing'”

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Andrew and Luke: “Wow! Out of context! I know! So, should we explain this? No”

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Kristina Lopez, Luke and Andrew: “Listen, I have faith, okay? You just gotta… really… just… assert your intentions; and, then… the world will follow. Ooh! That’s good affirmation (Wow!)”

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Luke: “Albuquerque”

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Luke: “And, we need to get the what-what… on… on Springfield, MO”

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Luke: “Before that, though… we gotta bring you… episode 2666… in a collector’s series. Eww… 666… (Oh my God!!) That’s a little bit ominous… We’ll get through it”

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Luke: Cute laugh

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Luke: “Does this eagle soar look infected to you?”

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Luke: Having a good laugh

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Luke: “How did these dinguses figure it out and I couldn’t?”

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Luke: “I am so selfish”

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Luke: “I just ride Greyhound until my tushy’s sore!”

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Luke: “I thought he was in v-mails… but, there wasn’t any v-mails!”

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Luke: “I’m gonna, I’m gonna tap out on that… attempted joke”

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Luke: “I’m like the Sally Field… of this podcarting… You listen to us. You really, really listen to us”

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Luke: “I’ve been looking to get my kicks”

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Luke: “It wa’coo’ [ph]“

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Luke: “Light as a feather, stiff as an Andrew”

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Luke: “My strategy is to play until my tushy hurts!”

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Luke: “Nada mucho”

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Luke: “Naw”

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Luke: “Oh, hell, yeah!”

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Luke: “Oh! Romancing the Stone”

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Luke: “Ooh, baby”

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Luke: “Ooh!”

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Luke: “People are still playing Pokémon Go?”

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Luke: Singing “Oh, oh, oh… O’Hungry’s! O’Hungry’s, weirdo name”

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Luke: “Still got it!”

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Luke: “That’s, that’s dirty pool, as far as I’m concerned”

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Luke: “We gotta get to Memphis by Thursday night, bruh”

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Luke: “We were sort of rode hard and put away wet at that point”

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Luke: “Welcome to the program… joining you from… Kansas City, Missouri; home of… hot wings and cold jazz”

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Luke: “Well, it turned into a cartoon ham!”

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Luke: “Where’s the laptop assault at? Wherever I am, baby!”

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Luke: “Where’s the party at? It’s wherever he is, baby!”

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Luke: “Where’s the party at? Wherever I am, baby!”

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Luke: “Yeah… this, this was the plan”

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Luke and Andrew: Andrew cracks up laughing when Luke tells him that he would toss his baseball mitt in the air and see how many times he can spin around

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Luke and Andrew: For some reason, Luke said “Light as a feather, stiff as an Andrew” instead of “Light as a feather, stiff as a board”

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Luke and Andrew: “I wonder why his parents didn’t name him, ‘Dannibal’… Hmm! Dannibal from Hannibal (Dannibal from Hannibal)”

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Luke and Andrew: Luke had a little soar, but Andrew thought he said “a little sore”

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Luke and Andrew: “Think about it, there are no rules in this Outback Steakhouse? (I know) Which is why so many people defecate in the booths there… It’s horrible! I stopped going! That’s what they call a ‘Bloomin’ Onion’! Oh, God!”

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Luke and Andrew: “Umm… everything okay with you, bruh? Cuz, I just went into the bathroom and… (What?) I think your underwear is in the garbage. Oh, yeah… I mean, anything we need to talk about? I’m okay, now”

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Audio Clips

Clips From TBTL #2665

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Andrew: Andrew’s face becomes a dour or grumpy, bearded face when he gets nervous and doesn’t think about his face

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Andrew: “Before… my regrettable Bukowski days”

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Andrew: “Heh. People are gonna laugh at me”

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Andrew: “I don’t know, man… I, I wanna, I wanna get to Mississippi alive; but, I also don’t wanna be, like, ‘Well, we tried. We hitchhiked twenty miles; and, now, rain came… and, so, we rented a car. And, we drove to Mississippi.’ That doesn’t seem right”

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Andrew: “I got a sucker!”

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Andrew: “It’s a dour, fricking face, man. It is a, it is a grumpy, bearded face”

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Andrew: “It’s sexy!”

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Andrew: Making jazz trumpet sounds

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Andrew: “Wait, wait. Nobody’s gonna pick up a trollish looking guy whose grimacing at them through his steamy glasses”

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Andrew: “We are going to stink that bus up!”

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Andrew: “We can stay at the… Pink Eye Express”

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Andrew: “We still have to rough it a little bit”

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Andrew: “You know what the funny thing is? It’s not funny”

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Andrew and Kristina Lopez: “Mark Twain’s great; but… are there any other workaholic actors who were born there? Unfortunately, no. There are not any other workaholic actors”

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Andrew and Luke: “Enough about them! Back to us. Thank you”

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Andrew and Luke: “Hey, there are hitchhikers ahead… and, I’m feeling… I’m feeling ballsy… TBTL!”

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Andrew and Luke: It’s not a road trip if Andrew doesn’t bring a lot of cased meats with him

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Kristina Lopez: “Alright. I’m ready”

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Kristina Lopez: Laughing and saying “Oh, man. Why?”

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Luke: “And, I also hope they have snacks… cuz, I’m starving. Like, what’s the food service on a–I mean, also, by the way… do they care that I’m Alaska Gold 75K?”

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Luke: “Because, we may actually be here in Waterloo for a long time. We’re not… quite… sure”

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Luke: “Digstown!? What are you talking about?”

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Luke: “Every once in a while… you go and do something and totally redeem yourself!”

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Luke: “Get in!”

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Luke: “God, I wish that was the first time you told me that”

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Luke: “Hey! Is this a thing?”

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Luke: “Hot wings and cold jazz”

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Luke: “I’ve never seen him more excited for anything… He is excited about this Greyhound bus ride”

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Luke: “Kiki… we asked you to be our travel advisor… not the voice of reason. That’s by far, by far and away, the most intelligent and… and useful thing… that’s been said on the show… maybe in years”

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Luke: “Please be open, please be open”

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Luke: “Rinsta… finsta and spam”

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Luke: Singing “TBTL!”

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Luke: “Speak for yourself, dirty hitchhiker”

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Luke: “That’s nuts!”

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Luke: “The heat was rough!”

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Luke: “This is… hardcore honeymoon town; and, we’re going, bro”

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Luke: “What!!?!”

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Luke: “Yes, Virginia… there is a Denver, Iowa”

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Luke and Andrew: “And, he’s got more problems than just the incoming flash flooding and lightning here in Iowa… (Oh… my… God. I have a sesame stick problem) He is Andrew Walsh; and, he is joins us now from… about… eight inches away. Hello, my dude… Hey, man… I was really hoping that drop would never see the light of day. I saw that Linh Pham had sent that to you; but… here we are”

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Luke and Andrew: “And, seriously, never do that again! Yeah… Peace and love”

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Luke and Andrew: “I’m just so privileged in my real life. I never have to be doing anything I don’t wanna be doing… or, be… physically super uncomfortable for very long at all. I always have an out. Mmm-hmm”

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Luke and Andrew: “Just drop us off anywhere along here… along one of these fields is fine. And, she’s like, ‘Okay.’ And, then, Andrew goes, ‘But, but somewhere where I can go to the bathroom.’ But, I didn’t mean, take me to a… a proper restroom. I just meant… if we could get away from the soybeans and just get into those bushes up ahead… God, I wish that was the first time you told me that”

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Luke and Andrew: Luke is late for almost everything but he draws the line at his own funeral

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Luke and Andrew: Luke saying “Put on a broadside ballad! Do you have… Flat Foot Floogie?!” and Andrew making jazz trumpet sounds

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Luke and Andrew: “Whoa!!!”

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Luke and Andrew: “Why must we suffer? Yeah; because, I think we said we were gonna suffer. I don’t know… Maybe, this is my Catholic upbringing”

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Audio Clips

Clips From TBTL #2664: Part Two

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Luke: “And, by the way… welcome to… Moms on the Net”

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Luke: “But, if I fire one off and it’s, kinda, going hot and heavy… which is, oddly sexual… for a tweet”

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Luke: “Dafuq”

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Luke: “Damn, this is hard!”

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Luke: “Do these snacks smell like chloroform? We call ’em a Henry bar. Sniff these”

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Luke: “Everything was coming up Stu!”

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Luke: “He’s Andrew (Ooooh!) Walsh”

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Luke: “Hold on to your butts”

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Luke: “I believe, that this… will be my financial Waterloo”

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Luke: “I’m a wannabe bouge”

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Luke: “I’m bougie adjacent”

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Luke: “I’m… I’m kinda riding dirty right now”

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Luke: “Is it Boo-roo Rey? [ph]“

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Luke: Laughing

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Luke: “Oh, boy. Oh, boy. Oh, boy, everybody”

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Luke: “Oh, shit… Things are hard”

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Luke: “Ooh! Explicit”

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Luke: “People are thinking about a thing I did today”

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Luke: Singing “Gettysburg! That’s was a thing where Lincoln said important stuff”

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Luke: Singing “Old Man Tucker was a fine old man. Washed his pace–his face in a frying pan. Combed his hair with a wagon wheel. Died with a toothache in his heel”

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Luke: Singing “Who can say if Stu’s making that up”

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Luke: “That’s very TBTL of you, though, Nora”

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Luke: “That’s your fear talking, my friend (I am petrified)”

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Luke: “There are some parts of This American… I almost called it ‘This American Life’… Imagine ‘It’s a Wonderful Life’ hosted by Ira Glass… No, don’t; cuz, we don’t have two hours”

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Luke: “This is not a drill!”

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Luke: “We’ll be dealing with your people, Nora and Stu”

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Luke: “What the eff!?”

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Luke: “Who gives a shit”

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Luke: “Would you like to come to my Corn Palace?”

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Luke: “Wow!”

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Luke: “You and I were separated… at birth… McInerny”

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Luke: “You love him more than Daddy!”

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Luke and Andrew: Double indroppity

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Luke and Andrew: “Flapdoodles. Oh!!”

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Luke and Andrew: “That’s a GIF, that’s a GIF that keeps on GIF-ing (Yeah!)”

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Luke and Andrew: When Andrew laughs, he leaks

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Luke and Steve Neuman: “But… you must have been on cloud nine, or St. Cloud Nine… (What?!?) Got there! (Oh, Goddamnit) I… just… drop me off at the next exit, Nora”

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Luke and Steve Neuman: “Have you ever hitchhiked? Oh, God, no! No! No!”

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Luke and Steve Neuman: “She keeps it realtor (She does)”

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Luke and Steve Neuman: “What do you think about this hitchhiking plan? Umm, I think you’re out of your minds; but, I think you’re out of your minds, in a good way… Does that… sound… half-hearted, or not?”

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Luke, Kristina Lopez and Andrew: Going from John Wayne Gacy town to a town named Hannibal

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Luke, Steve Neuman, Andrew and Nora McInerny: “And, good luck to all!”

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