Marsupial Gurgle

Andrew: “Every time you say the word ‘privilege’, we lose one listener and gain another”

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Andrew: “Hey, everybody. Welcome to Booty Patter… I’m Andrew. That’s Luke”

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Andrew: “Humans are… well… problematic at times”

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Andrew: “I am an Oath Keeper, by the way”

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Andrew: “I like to consider myself the white Idris Elba”

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Andrew: “I love my cat; but, I’m really glad he can’t talk”

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Andrew: “I mean, you got a Ned Flanders body under there, my friend”

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Andrew: “I think I bring… plenty of three year old energy”

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Andrew: “Now, I think that’s a jam. I love that song… Couple of problems… He didn’t start from the bottom”

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Andrew: “Oh, shoot! Somebody is in here!”

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Andrew: “Roger that. Over. Gonna bomb these guys”

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Andrew: Saying “I’m sorry. I don’t deserve this. I should give it all away” in a funny manner

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Andrew: “Think about your words, Walsh”

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Luke: “Bamboo butt… butt buffer?”

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Luke: “Booty patters”

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Luke: “Could we do this, like, on a semi-regular basis? Cuz, this feels right!”

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Luke: “Drake traffics in fame… not clout”

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Luke: “Hoarding kindness”

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Luke: “I have… bidet privilege”

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Luke: “I haven’t… been phished… yet”

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Luke: “Oh my God. What a fucking relief”

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Luke: “Pew-pew. Land the plane”

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Luke: Saying “Can I pet that dog?” in a funny manner

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Luke: Saying “Can I play that clip?” in a funny manner

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Luke: Singing “Working on the weekend, like usual”

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Luke and Andrew: “Bunghole buffers (Ohh!)”

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Andrew: “Alright. I hate to be complicit here”

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Andrew: “As… the world’s number two”

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Andrew: “As… the world’s number two and the podcasting world’s number one partying animal”

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Andrew: “Basement beef castle”

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Andrew: “Have you thought about just dragging it across the carpet?”

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Andrew: “Hell, yeah!”

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Andrew: “I am not mad at this at all!”

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Andrew: “I did the most… satisfying manscaping… around eleven o’clock last night”

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Andrew: “I do not want to start the show all litigious!”

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Andrew: “I have a follow-up question about bidet usage that I’m really wondering whether or not I should ask”

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Andrew: “I use this term advisedly, I am a… self-described party animal; and, for party animals like me… it’s just gonna be really tough to stay home… But, I’ll do it”

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Andrew: “I will cut your mic!”

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Andrew: “I… went into my man cave, I manscaped, and, then, I mansplained to Genevieve what I was doing”

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Andrew: “I’m about to dip into something that I know nothing about here”

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Andrew: “I’m balding and I have a beard; but, it is a kempt beard”

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Andrew: “I’m not hoarding!”

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Andrew: “ISDN… spider web of networks”

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Andrew: “No, I’m not pretty enough”

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Andrew: “See, the virus, if the virus keeps us home, then the virus won… Is that the messaging we’re supposed to be using?”

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Andrew: “Speaking of my shaggy beard”

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Andrew: “That’s why I needed the toilet paper”

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Andrew and Luke: “I wanna tell you my… toilet paper story. May I? I… You know what? I… I will… I will cede the balance of my time to the gentleman from the Roosevelt neighborhood of Seattle, Washington”

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Luke: “‘kay… this is gonna happen”

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Luke: “Bamboo bum rags”

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Luke: “Easy, furry… Okay, furry!”

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Luke: “I have to tell you… the bidet… is… ba-mazing”

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Luke: “I powder my hair and I pat my butthole, Andrew”

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Luke: “I’m basically the white Idris Elba”

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Luke: “I’ve been doing a test… where I’ve been using… the bamboo bum rag”

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Luke: “Let’s dance, motherfuckers”

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Luke: “The… remote controls are… should only be used for controlling your bidet and stirring your drink… in… a hotel room… in Mississippi… Yes! Yes!”

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Luke: “This is where it is gonna get controversial, Andrew”

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Luke: “We’re not going… in the right direction at all on this program”

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Luke: “What were we looting today?”

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Luke: “When did this turn into an adult film?”

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Luke and Andrew: “I’m a little scared about that… Hmm-hmm”

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Andrew: “Good morning, Luke. I have a silver lining on this… somewhat dark Monday”

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Andrew: “I don’t have any desire to become a hot dog right now”

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Andrew: “I Got It Bad (and That Ain’t Good)”

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Andrew: “I… would ask you to take that back, sir”

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Andrew: “I’ll take a squirt. I’ll do it. I’m trying to not touch stuff too much”

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Andrew: “I’m a lazy man who is not facing reality enough”

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Andrew: “If you know what I meant, but you call in to correct me; then, you are the a-hole”

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Andrew: “Now, we are talking Operation: Clean Bins”

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Andrew: “Oh, shit! I cut that out! I cut that out of the show!”

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Andrew: “What would it be like if I could just spent hours flattening this mountain? It gives me a sense of control”

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Andrew: “You could definitely make the argument that I’m a lazy man who is not facing reality enough”

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Andrew and Luke: Andrew flattening curves both in Minecraft and in real life

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Andrew and Luke: “Can we talk about that for one second; then, I’ll shut up. Because, (Okay) I’m being overly serious and on a rant”

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Luke: “Boy, oh, boy. Did the Internet come after him. He got doxxed hard”

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Luke: “Hey, batter-batter-batter”

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Luke: “Holy shit! That sport is hard!”

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Luke: “I have been able to be… kind of an annoying person… for my whole career”

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Luke: “Why don’t you build a better joke on Minecraft; and, then, get back to me”

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Luke: “With a stinky butt”

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Luke: “You know, I’m a little hippy-dippy these days”

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Luke and Andrew: Luke might be in the shower washing his butt or Andrew might be at Green Lake washing his butt

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Luke and Andrew: Singing “He’s… that… guy! (Guy!)”

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Andrew: “A real mind bleep is the fact that I forgot about 9/11… I mean, let’s just call me out on this”

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Andrew: “Alma mata… Mata? Mater”

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Andrew: “Booty shaker?”

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Andrew: “He just needed me to try”

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Andrew: “I actually remember exactly when you said that; which, that’s a miracle in of itself”

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Andrew: “I don’t know how to talk!”

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Andrew: “I was banished from my apartment… two nights ago”

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Andrew: “Saxamaphone”

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Andrew: “So, here we are… Here we are, Luke”

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Andrew: “Why was it the library closure that broke me?”

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Andrew: “You know what? You’re, you’re forcing me to do this. I’m just going to do this. This is unfair to… well, literally everybody except for Hauser [ph]“

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Andrew and Luke: Singing “Hello, muddah… Alma mata! Hello, faddah… I’ll see you… at the thea-tar! [ph]“

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Luke: “If this is… you know… getting close to the end for all of us… I want them to know that I died with excellent posture”

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Luke: “It’s Vitamin T… Vitamin TBTL”

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Luke: “Might be a high risk of her eating something weird; cuz, her butt has been… not good lately”

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Luke: “My chest is really opening up, Andrew”

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Luke: “Rubbing a boom-boom-boom and a zoom-zoom”

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Luke: “Yesterday’s show… was actually on a one day delay; and, boy did we pick the wrong day for that!”

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Andrew: “And, I’m not trying to take the higher ground here and make what you said sound petty… Although, let’s just let that seep in for a second”

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Andrew: “Don’t apologize. This is on me. I’m a fool”

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Andrew: Doot-dooing a ditty

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Andrew: “I just had a moment of clarity”

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Andrew: “I knew you would throw me under the bus one of these days”

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Andrew: “¡Jalapeña!”

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Andrew: Laughing

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Andrew: “Not the great… Andrew Walsh toilet paper phenomenon of 2016”

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Andrew: Saying “I just need someone to talk to!” in a funny manner

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Andrew: Singing along with the funky bass and saying “Daddy, daddy, daddy”

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Andrew: “Sound it out. Sound it out. Slow down. Enunciate… Bob’s your uncle”

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Andrew: “That such a small mistake made me feel… so terrible”

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Andrew: “That’s a spicy virus”

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Andrew: “The combination of Wilshire… and Hilton, it was… ‘Wilton'”

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Andrew: “This is… gonna be a weird thing to say. So, I’m sure I will say it too quickly and use too many words; and, then, regret it later”

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Andrew: “What!!?”

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Andrew: “Where the… fit hits the shan”

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Andrew: “You’re allowed zero follow-up questions”

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Luke: “Biff got the racing form”

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Luke: “Good look, Burbs”

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Luke: “I don’t go to the Hudson News; cuz, I’m a kid”

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Luke: “I don’t know. Win-win? Win-lose… draw?”

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Luke: “I had been in such a weird… thing with the face touching”

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Luke: “Nobody point a thermometer at my forehead!”

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Luke: “Rubber baby buggy bumpers”

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Luke and Andrew: “What will last longer… coronavirus or the XFL? The coronavirus of football?”

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