Marsupial Gurgle

Andrew: “And, I just don’t need to work with people”

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Andrew: “And, it was like salve for my soul”

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Andrew: “Do you think I’m a team player?”

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Andrew: “Genevieve’s sausage”

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Andrew: “Get away from me. Get away from my car. Don’t look at–Are you looking at me? Don’t look at me. Get away!”

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Andrew: “Give me a major brark”

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Andrew: “Good morning. I have… slightly bad news”

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Andrew: “Hope y’all like quizzes; cuz, it’s all I know how to do”

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Andrew: “I broke up with Genevieve”

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Andrew: “I cried a lot yesterday”

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Andrew: “I think I just like doing it alone!”

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Andrew: “It was… breaking my… goddamn heart”

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Andrew: Laughing

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Andrew: “Like, there’s this part of Whole Foods that I have to hold my nose when I go through; cuz… it’s all the cheese is exposed and it stinks”

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Andrew: “Not gonna lie to you… I have been known to drunkenly eat sausage”

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Andrew: “Not gonna lie to you… I have been known to drunkenly eat sausage… Linh, I swear to God, if I hear that at the beginning of tomorrow’s show… we’re breaking up too”

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Andrew: Saying “Did you know you bought cheese sausage?”

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Andrew: “There’s only one way this is all gonna fit in here”

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Andrew: “Yes!”

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Andrew and Luke: Laughing

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Andrew and Luke: “You know, like, I’m just lucky (Yeah) that… my chemicals, for right now, are relatively balanced… Mostly focused on compost… That’s true!”

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Luke: “He was the best of men, he was the blurst of men!”

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Luke: “It’s like emotionally, you were not ready for solid food… again”

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Luke: “Like, that’s… where my shit is right now”

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Luke: “Now, I have to, I have to implement… an Andrew practice”

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Luke: “Okay… dingus… Go for it”

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Luke: Saying “I use… a Tohatsu” as a pirate

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Luke: Singing “I have done a something”

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Luke: “Swab the poop deck!”

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Luke: “Yarrr!”

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Luke: “You’re needling with the wrong needle-nose”

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Luke and Andrew: “I’m probably good for at least one more meltdown… (Yeah. Right) like… before we’re done with this”

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Luke and Andrew: “So, what did you end up doing? Just sausage-less… You missed that Sausage Fest? I broke up with Genevieve”

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Andrew: “A faux, modern fanciness”

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Andrew: “Alright, I’m gonna be honest with you here; I played a little bit of hooky on Friday”

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Andrew: “But… he… he does it duty-free”

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Andrew: “Come on, Tyler. You got to!”

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Andrew: “Get him to sign a mango!”

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Andrew: “I just sighed really heavily… rolled my eyes… pulled out my wallet, and then made the… errrrrrrr… creaking sound when I opened it… to illustrate my cheapness and my… begrudging attitude”

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Andrew: “I took a photo… in the bathroom in there… because… I dunno, just kinda feeling myself”

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Andrew: “I… am… a very petty person”

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Andrew: “I’ve… told stories on the show about, like, some… pretty shady dumping that I’ve done”

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Andrew: “It always makes me giggle… like a little boy, when I hear ‘duty-free'”

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Andrew: “It would actually have made me feel more comfortable if the place had been a little dumpier”

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Andrew: “It’s the fanny pack of tours”

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Andrew: “Jesus. Yeah”

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Andrew: Laughing

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Andrew: “Meanwhile, I’m trying to buy… two Gatorades behind you, and… I don’t like you anymore”

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Andrew: Mimicking a creaking sound

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Andrew: “Oh, right. Goddamnit!”

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Andrew: “We outtie”

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Andrew: “We’re all just… rock ‘n’ roll worshippers now”

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Andrew: “Well, how about that. I cut her name… off of the e-mail”

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Andrew: “Yeah; but, will I look like a dork? Who gives a crap at this point”

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Andrew: “You gotta eat that Segway”

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Andrew and Luke: “I took a photo… in the bathroom in there… because… I dunno, just kinda feeling myself, since I took a selfie. No, I… (I’m curious to see how this sentence ends)”

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Luke: “God, we’re so old”

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Luke: “I’m a bum… but, I’m a Harvard bum”

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Luke: “I’m about done with this”

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Luke: “I’m just kind of a scam artist by nature”

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Luke: “I’m… fighting the urge to go into borderline religious talk”

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Luke: “Let’s do this”

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Luke: “Puttering… in my tonight pants”

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Luke: “Sorry! Sorry! Sorry! Sorry!”

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Luke: “Tufts, that’s what keeps falling out of my… clumps of that keep falling out of my head… Know what I mean?”

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Luke: “We will sit shiva… on a Segway”

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Andrew: “Did you go down into the bowels of CBS yesterday and ask them to re-take your picture?”

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Andrew: “Everybody who saw that photo does love you a little bit less”

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Andrew: “Hello, goldfish darling”

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Andrew: “I’m over here… slaving over a la… a hot laptop, or a… lop hat top. It’s early. I’m working out the kinks”

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Andrew: “I’m working out the kinks”

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Andrew: “Literally coming in hot before I even said a word”

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Andrew: “No, it’s about waking up. I hate waking up”

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Andrew: Saying “And the Pudding Pops” as Bill Crosby

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Andrew: Singing “I forget too much… I mumble too much”

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Andrew: Singing “Oh, High School College, we adore thee”

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Andrew: “The Lyfts, and the Ubers, and the public transportation, and everything”

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Andrew and Luke: “Hello, goldfish darling… Hello, Andrew darling”

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Luke: “As those extremely… important people… were… were streaming through and… and going to feed at the trough that I was trying wedge my piggy nose into”

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Luke: “Boop!”

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Luke: “By the way… Tod Koppel… keeping it tight!”

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Luke: “Dang it!”

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Luke: “Had he not taken it off… the hotel would be burning to the ground right now”

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Luke: “Hello, Andrew darling”

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Luke: “I don’t even know what my point was in this. I just wanted to be heard, I guess, Andrew”

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Luke: “If we just kept on getting one more little… gew-gaw”

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Luke: Making a recoiled reaction sound

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Luke: “My point is, I know I’m sounding very complainy about what is basically a very lucky charmed life that I have”

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Luke: “Oh, boy… This is, I’m not gonna be able to complete this thought”

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Luke: Singing “High School, High School College. Founded by Roger High School. What a weird last name. This is now a hymn”

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Luke: Singing “I stop remembering too much”

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Luke: Singing “So much to say, so much to say” as Adam Sandler in the style of Henny Youngman

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Luke: Singing “The musics of the night”

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Luke: “Stop! Do not! No! Do not go into the office!”

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Luke: “We’ll never need shampoo again!”

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Luke: “What is my life come to? I’m closing my own… hatch… like a commoner!?”

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Andrew: “Ay! I’m tryin’ to share the sidewalk here!”

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Andrew: “But, it also just poofs it out!”

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Andrew: “Dónde está… and that’s it. I’m out”

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Andrew: “Especially, down in L.A., I just felt like such an idiot not speaking Spanish”

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Andrew: “Fuggetaboutit!”

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Andrew: “Good job… little Amy”

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Andrew: “Holy shit. Holy shit!”

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Andrew: “How G-D sweet is that?”

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Andrew: “I don’t know why I’m doing this; and, we’ll, we will see if I continue with it”

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Andrew: “I gave up on my hair years ago… when it started giving up on me. Am I right?”

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Andrew: “I had such a… oh… God…damn… beautiful Seattle day yesterday”

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Andrew: “I was tempted!”

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Andrew: “I’m not complete until I’ve had my chocolate!”

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Andrew: “If anybody puts a blow dryer on my head, it is a really bad result”

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Andrew: “It was just like a perfect Andrew day”

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Andrew: “It, it’s driving me crazy!”

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Andrew: Laughing

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Andrew: “Let me babysit your children”

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Andrew: “Listen, I’m a boring guy”

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Andrew: “Lotta listeners don’t know this; but, I have a terrible memory”

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Andrew: “No, good job, big Bob!”

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Andrew: “Oh… God…damn!”

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Andrew: “Photo”

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Andrew: “Roald the r-rur [ph] juror says”

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Andrew: Saying “Salon” in a French manner

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Andrew: Singing “Bomp-bomp!”

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Andrew: “The perfect daddy”

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Andrew: “This day brought to you by caffeine”

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Andrew: “Uhhh!”

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Andrew: “Was it chunky!?”

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Andrew: “You gotta drop that drop!”

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Andrew and Luke: “Do you see the connective tissue there? Do I just sound (Yeah, I do) drunk? Okay”

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Andrew and Luke: “I think we swelled it right where I had the loop point. Did you hear that? Nope… Neither did I”

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Luke: Drawn out “Fuggetaboutit”

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Luke: “Here’s the thing: New York is full of people like me, and I hate it”

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Luke: “Hold on!!”

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Luke: “I love Spanglish so much!”

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Luke: “I’m not trying to win cute points”

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Luke: “If you wanna know how many beatings we got… a lot!”

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Luke: “It’s just the Spang… that I’m having problems with”

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Luke: “No, I will not let your people go!”

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Luke: “Ohh. Oh, Andrew”

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Luke: “Peace!”

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Luke: “Phone!”

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Luke: “Really? We can’t cut this guy… a break… somewhere?”

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Luke: “Spiff up”

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Luke: “Stay aquí”

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Luke: “The Parker Hotel… doesn’t open a window without turning off the heat”

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Luke and Andrew: “But, I am gonna cry when you walk off the field of podcasting today for your final time. You better when, eventually, I’m pushed out of this business”

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