Andrew: “Abort! Abort!”
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Andrew: “And, again… this is… privilege talking here”
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Andrew: “And, I flipped my shit”
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Andrew: “‘And, listening to poor Andrew’ I’m very rich”
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Andrew: “Awww… scratch-and-stick sni… I keep saying it wrong. Scratch-and-sniff stickers for dessert, again? Awww!”
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Andrew: “‘Big fan, but please get some therapy'”
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Andrew: “But, that doesn’t mean I’m trying to throw you under the bus either, Luke… And, I, we, we will ta–… wait, hold on. We will talk about this on yesterday’s show. Hunh?”
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Andrew: “Hmm”
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Andrew: “Holy, shit. I got that Tumblr”
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Andrew: “I almost lost my brain again”
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Andrew: “I don’t send a lot of angry e-mails to individuals. I might say shit on the show in the… you know… in the course of our… job”
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Andrew: “I don’t, I have so many thoughts… (Jokes are difficult, I must say) coming through my head. I just want to break down… Okay, I know what the word, ‘Why’ means… I know what the word, ‘Did’ means… And, that’s, that’s all I… the rest is lost on me”
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Andrew: “I opened the door to Twitter beef in my life again”
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Andrew: “I was a kid. Obviously, I had scratch-and-stiff Snickers… I’m sorry, scratch-and-sniff stickers”
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Andrew: “I Zouted it out”
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Andrew: “It’s fun and funky”
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Andrew: Laughing
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Andrew: “Like, if I’m… having pizza, especially any kind of celebratory pizza; which, is one of my favorite kinds of pizza”
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Andrew: “Oh, shit. This is from a listener?”
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Andrew: “Oh!”
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Andrew: “What the hell is this?”
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Andrew: “You know what? No, let’s not read it. No, just kidding”
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Andrew: “Zout out! Zout out to my homie Peter at APM!”
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Andrew and Luke: “I clicked on that quasi-randomly… the track below it… is called… ‘Hey Paul’… It would have tied in perfectly to our bible talk… (By… by The Pains of Being Pure at Heart?) Yes. Literally the next track (Just play it. Just play it) Okay, here we go. (Just play it) So, we’ll just start this over. Three… two… one”
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Andrew and Luke: “I do not like stickers on my hand. I don’t like stickers (Really!?) on my fruit and produce. I think that’s gross. I don’t like taking it off of a… cucumber; and, then, it leaves stickiness behind; and, I gotta scrub it in the sink… to get the sin out… for like, twenty minutes”
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Andrew and Luke: “Like, as an adult, I have a very weird… relationship with stickers. It’s not a weird relationship… I don’t like them! I think stickers are gross… (What!?!) I don’t like people putting stickers on my skin (Ohh)”
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Andrew and Luke: “Wait, I got one for you. Luke… (‘kay) what is… what is a Death Eater? This is actually just (I don’t know) a question… Oh… Are you familiar with jokes? I wasn’t… it was a joke or a question; but, for real, what is a Death Eater? Does anybody know? Okay”
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Andrew and Luke: “With every passing day, I have less hair… and, I’m trying to figure out if my chutzpah’s going up or down… (But, more chutzpah!) I don’t know! I don’t know, man”
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Luke: “And, I failed… miserably”
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Luke: “Buckle up, bubbie!”
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Luke: “Drew… Lurnk… Hello”
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Luke: “Each episode of TBTL can either go nuclear or it can go biblical”
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Luke: “Go eat a bagel… it’s not the water”
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Luke: “I’ll Tumblr for ya”
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Luke: “Never look at the e-mails before the show!!”
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Luke: “Oh, God! I’m just, like, I was just such a scam artist as a kid”
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Luke: “Oh, man… Andrew, I’m gonna, I, I, I’ve got… I’ve got so much stuff… swimming through my head right now… that is threatening to make this a particularly terrible recording of the show… and, I’ve gotta just, I’ve gotta… block out… the haters… and, also… just the stresses of, of my life… and my job life”
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Luke: “Oh!!”
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Luke: Saying “This is a serious message for all my” as Ringo Starr
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Luke: “Stop trying to make… Potter jokes, Dad!”
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Luke: “Stop Zouting at me!”
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Luke: “What are we… chopped liver?”
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Luke and Andrew: “I’m too blessed to be stressed. That’s the decision that I just made in the last eight seconds; so, I’m not even mad anymore… I’m too stressed to be… Never mind, I’m gonna, can I abort, abort?”
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Luke and Andrew: “Oh, man! Aw, man! (Ohh)”
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Luke and Andrew: “Why do I know this? Who is this? I’m so mad at myself right now; you have no idea”
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Luke and Andrew: “You don’t even know that Thursday’s show involves me talking about this; and, you don’t even know that Friday’s show involves me talking you! As Dan Savage would say, ‘It gets worse'”
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