Clips From TBTL #3111

Andrew: “How are your dreams?”

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Andrew: “I don’t talk about it much”

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Andrew: “I have a beard now”

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Andrew: “I have no more follow-up questions. My apologies”

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Andrew: “I just felt like an astroturf-y transition”

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Andrew: “I know I’ve lived my life and not seen a lot of things”

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Andrew: “I quarantined myself years ago”

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Andrew: “I understand what you’re doing. I’m not trying to make your job harder; although, I… clearly am”

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Andrew: “I’m not joking. My brain kind of shuts off when he starts talking”

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Andrew: “I’ve said what I’ll say about that”

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Andrew: “It’s a lotta Bs, bude [ph]

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Andrew: “Let’s not do that”

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Andrew: “My name is Judge”

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Andrew: “Oh, no! Do I have to hoard this rubbing alcohol?”

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Andrew: “Quarantine me, baby”

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Andrew: “Sweet. Quarantine me, baby”

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Andrew: “Why do I continue this conversation when I don’t know the cultural references?”

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Andrew: “You can say, ‘thong'”

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Andrew: “You, you… you scammer, you!”

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Andrew: “You… sketch-head!”

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Andrew and Luke: Andrew wanted to clarify what Luke meant by the phrase “banana hammock”

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Andrew and Luke: “I want to make it very clear here, though. I’m not trying to judge you… Oh, hey, speaking of… judging people, Andrew”

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Luke: “And, no toca nada”

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Luke: “Can I get through my life not using that word or phrase?”

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Luke: “Do you wanna get lunch, babe?”

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Luke: “I am a full-fledge namby-pamby”

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Luke: “I’m about to go down a real… a real Netflix hole with this”

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Luke: “I’m not getting that shit at Whole Foods! It’s gonna be some hippy stuff”

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Luke: “I’m rappin’, I’m rappin’… I don’t want the mic”

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Luke: “I’m the one who Doogs”

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Luke: “It was weird!”

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Luke: “Ix-nay… on the incarceration-ay ok-tay”

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Luke: “Love ya, babe”

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Luke: “Please avoid this area at all costs today; cuz, you may see some things… you don’t wanna see”

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Luke: Saying “This genius stuff” as Bill Clinton

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Luke: “Stop picking, licking, biting and rubbing”

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Luke: “That’s fair, babe”

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Luke: “While we’ve been talking about it, Andrew, I’ve touched my nose thirteen times”

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Luke: “You had to do that; you son of a babe!”

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Luke and Andrew: “Attempted avuncularness in the first degree… (Yes) and, lock him up and throw away the key on this”

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Luke and Andrew: “No mountain too tall. And, good luck to all, babe”

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Luke and Andrew: “We have the perfect job if we have to be quarantined… I am quarantined. I quarantined myself years ago”

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Clips From TBTL #3110

Andrew: “Again, I can’t keep the topic off of me for too long”

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Andrew: “And, so what Phamdemort did was he… I apparently did an imitation of that, he added a different gong”

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Andrew: “Because, I have… vivid memory of me sitting alone in a cool, purple booth from the nineties; and, unhinging my jaw as I try to get it around… whatever the largest Arby’s sandwich is”

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Andrew: “Delicious, Thanks for Asking”

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Andrew: “Does Andrew have to go into KFC to get a taste of this Sweet Lightning? And, he might”

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Andrew: “I can sit there and be quiet; and, I don’t–I’m not gonna one of those guys who’s gonna… talk your ear off”

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Andrew: “I don’t know computer talk!”

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Andrew: “I just haven’t darken the doors of a KFC in years and years and years”

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Andrew: “I’m getting rich off of today’s show; I’m not gonna lie”

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Andrew: “I’m straight gas homie. You’re straight gas homie. This whole court is straight gas homie!”

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Andrew: “I’ve kissed my dad on the cheek”

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Andrew: “Listen… If we wanna be quiet, and not talk to each other, that’s fine; but, I don’t feel I should be left out of the conversation that you’re having with somebody while your mouth is by my ear”

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Andrew: “Maybe I’m giving off something that I don’t realize I’m giving off”

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Andrew: “Now, I don’t, I don’t wanna type ‘XXX’ into my computer”

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Andrew: Saying “We have meat; and, so, therefore, we… be men!” in an aggressive manner

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Andrew: Singing the signature riff from Pink Floyd’s “Money”

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Andrew: “Where’s the Donovan!?”

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Andrew and Luke: Andrew playing the clip of Luke reading the opening lyrics to “Crossroads” and Luke felt like it was dangerous that Andrew is playing clips of Luke from other shows

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Andrew and Luke: “Giving you… and Phamdemort something to work with… right off the bat… (Yeah) Something that can be pulled and used later as tape… I’m a content machine”

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Andrew and Luke: “Here we go… Not yet… When I said, ‘here we go,’ I mean we need one more verse before the chorus. Sure. The classic, ‘here we go'”

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Andrew and Luke: “I have a back-channel that’s been… giving me a lot of Luke tape lately; (Wow) and, frankly, that is just the very tip of the iceberg… I only take the stuff that I feel like is… really, just… Gosh, I got a bunch of stuff this (Primo) weekend, I can’t even find it right now; but, that’s probably best for you, I guess”

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Andrew and Luke: Saying “Genre… Genre. Genre” in an Alex Trebek-like manner

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Luke: “Aw, Andrew”

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Luke: “God, that is relatable to me!”

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Luke: “Is that a new level of boring for this program?”

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Luke: “It ain’t no fun when the rabbit’s got the gun”

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Luke: “It was just gloomy and gross”

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Luke: “The irony is… I had to burp right before I said he was, ‘straight gas homie'”

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Luke: “This thing is so shitty!”

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Luke: “We won’t shake hands. We won’t kiss. We won’t spread the virus”

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Luke: “You love to hear it”

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Luke and Andrew: “I hope he has something to say; because, clearly, I’m having a… some kind of burping fit over here. Andrew… take the wheel! I’m straight gas homie. You’re straight gas homie. This whole court is straight gas homie!”

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Clips From TBTL #3109

Andrew: “And, I don’t like to talk… smack about Genevieve on this show. I don’t wanna degrade her… in any way”

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Andrew: “Baking soda! I got baking soda”

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Andrew: “Cloud-based mumbo-jumbo”

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Andrew: “From time to time, every… I don’t know, three, four, five months, I’ll move big… chunks of our TBTL archives off of this computer”

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Andrew: “How are we supposed to feel trust… in… in our leaders when you’re such a… goddamn buffoon?”

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Andrew: “How are you getting… How are you getting that wrong?”

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Andrew: “I don’t know. This is falling apart. I’m embarrassed. I’m flushing over here”

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Andrew: “I mean, this is really gross and this really… I guess, sort of… exposes… me for… what a dirty man I can be sometimes”

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Andrew: “If you recall, I… praised you. I mean, I praised you… wholeheartedly”

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Andrew: “Just huge chunks of things just missing from the shelves”

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Andrew: “Little backstory here… A little BG on me”

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Andrew: Making choking sounds

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Andrew: “Oh, no… Oh, no! I’m in trouble”

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Andrew: “Ooh, something good is happening here; cuz, it’s fizzing up”

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Andrew: Saying “Support from NPR comes from BettaRecognize.com… Reminding… you to Betta Recognize” in the manner of an NPR underwriting spot

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Andrew: Saying “The theatre” in a high-brow manner

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Andrew: “So, those things will liquefy pretty… easily”

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Andrew: “This really… I guess, sort of… exposes… me for… what a dirty man I can be sometimes” (Edited)

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Andrew: “You’re fried… Ya done!”

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Andrew and Luke: Andrew saying “Dude, if I, if I understood the Internet, I’d be a rich man. I don’t know what people are doing out there” and Luke singing a portion of “If I Were a Rich Man”

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Andrew and Luke: Andrew saying “Number one, if I were a homeowner, and it was my own property, I would probably… be more interested in taking care of it” and Luke singing a portion of “If I Were a Rich Man”

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Andrew and Luke: “This was not my best show. My, my apologies for that… (That is not true!!) This was my best show? (I mean, I wasn’t. But… No)”

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Andrew and Luke: “What is happening? What is happening!? (Yeah)”

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Andrew and Luke: “You took one of those… temperature reading guns and pointed it to my… forehead… Don’t call it a gun… I’m sorry, massager… That is a joke just for us”

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Luke: “Cen…tur-tar [ph]

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Luke: “I find your lack of faith… disturbing”

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Luke: “Like Michelle Obama said… when they bid low… we counter high”

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Luke: “Oh, you one… hundred percent up it!”

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Luke: Singing “If I were a starfighter” and a portion of “If I Were a Rich Man”

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Luke: Singing a portion of “If I Were a Rich Man”

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Luke and Andrew: “We got trouble right here in River City. We got trouble (Yeah) with a capital ‘T;’ and, that rhymes with ‘P,’ and that stands for ‘pool'”

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Clips From McMillan Men #15

Andrew: “And, I’m not totally snowflaking out here about that aspect of it”

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Andrew: “Because my brain is bad; and, I don’t remember things well”

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Andrew: “But, it’s still all under this huge, dark… dark… dark ominous cloud”

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Andrew: “Can I pause for a moment… and congratulate myself for queueing that up absolutely perfectly?”

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Andrew: “I am… trying not to use the phrase, like, ‘somewhere on the spectrum;’ because, I feel like I overuse that. I’m not sure I ever use that correctly. But, that’s what it felt like to me; it felt somewhat spectrum-y”

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Andrew: “I wrote that down; although, I knew I didn’t need to”

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Andrew: “It’s too beautiful to live”

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Andrew: “Screw the MacGuffin!”

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Andrew: “So, when a man… really loves a woman”

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Andrew: “This is what… is gonna be my struggle for today”

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Andrew: “This is what… is gonna be my struggle for today; and I, and I think I will be able to… do well by all of you”

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Andrew: “What a crazy dream!”

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Andrew and Luke: “I’ve been, kind of, a Tom apologist a little bit. Maybe I’m, kind of, forced into that role a little bit… A Tom-pologist? A Tom-pologist”

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Andrew and Luke: “No, actually. What I mean to say is, I have no idea what you’re talking about… What kind of (Yeah) life of depravity do you lead?”

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Luke: “Don’t ask a question you don’t want the answer to, man”

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Luke: “Don’t get me started. This is Tom’s fault… I mean, really”

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Luke: “Holy shit!”

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Luke: “Lay Andrew lay”

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Luke: “Lay Andrew lay… Lay across my big, brass pod”

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Luke: “Now, stop being a dick to your son”

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Luke: “This is a rolling circus of randos”

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Luke: “Tom’s not my dad. My dad just owns two Arby’s”

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Luke: “Yeah, I think we’ve moved well beyond sleight of hand. I mean, we’re in the realm of slice of hand”

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Luke and Andrew: “Just leaving that in the clear; although, I forgot. This is not the show where somebody pulls audio… (No) of you saying stuff that’s unintentionally sexual”

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Luke and Andrew: “Lay lady lay. Lay across my big, comfy bed? (Mmm-hmm) Sure. I’m there (Mmm-hmm) Big, brass bed? No thank you, Bob”

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Luke and Andrew: “What the fuck are you all doing? (Mmm-hmm)”

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Clips From TBTL #3108

Andrew: “Again, we’re kinda old, white men”

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Andrew: “And, then, he passes… the mic… to Ye”

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Andrew: “Because I’ve got some other travel that month… Which, is the… coolest thing I’ve ever said”

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Andrew: “Bitter Ballard night”

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Andrew: “I don’t like where I’m taking this conversation”

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Andrew: “Local TV news is such trash content at this point anyway”

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Andrew: “Malibu. Mali-booyah”

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Andrew: “No, it’s me, the still water! But, now, I’m bubbly!”

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Andrew: “Pamplemousse”

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Andrew: “Sorry, Kanye put that in me”

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Andrew: Swirling his cup containing some ice and liquid

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Andrew: “That does sound fun! That’s what it sounds like living in a video game”

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Andrew: “There’s the wizard!”

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Andrew: “Yes, you can have that. That’s my gift to you and… the world”

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Andrew: “You don’t get the show!”

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Andrew and Luke: “What? Was ‘COVID-17’ taken? Am I right? (Hey-oh!)”

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Luke: “I’ll… fix this if it’s weird”

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Luke: “I’ve set up a… a bad situation for myself here, Andrew”

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Luke: Saying “Facebook Live? My face, you face” in a funny manner

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Luke: Saying “You’ll never catch me, copper!” as a 1940’s gangster

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Luke: “This is a Friday edition of the show; but, we are actually recording it… on a… Thursday… Just to… make it as complicated… for all of you scoring at home as possible”

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Luke and Andrew: “Hey, speaking of things on your face… Yeah, boy! That’s (Wow) a segue. Wow”

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Luke and Andrew: “I need my whip, guys! (I need my whip)”

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Luke and Andrew: “I’m on every single kind of upper… downer… sideways. You name it, I’m taking it. My pee is… neon green with chunks of boba tea’n. [ph] Oh my God”

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Luke and Andrew: “I’m using my Bonvoy points. Oh, okay. Bonvoy, my friend. Bonvoy”

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Luke and Andrew: “Scarves are very debonaire; but, like, (Yeah) no one washes a scarf! Yeah. Oof”

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Clips From TBTL #3107

Andrew: “Boom! Published”

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Andrew: “Chunk! Chunk! Chunk!”

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Andrew: “I don’t want to!”

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Andrew: “I feel legit guilt about that, by the way”

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Andrew: “I have to spit out this ice cube that accidentally went in my mouth”

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Andrew: “I remember… weirdly, fondly a food that I never ate”

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Andrew: “¡Jalapeña!”

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Andrew: “Just let us know if we still exist on Facebook”

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Andrew: “Oh, you can hear my terrible edit in that! Listen to that terrible edit!”

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Andrew: Saying “Eggs cetera!” in a sing-songy manner

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Andrew: Snorting

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Andrew: “So, what’s the name of the firefighter you’re marrying?”

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Andrew: “That is not nothing!”

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Andrew: “Things are tense!”

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Andrew: “Warning! Warning! Do not click on this thing”

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Andrew: “Weirdly, fondly”

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Andrew: “Where will I pee?”

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Andrew: “Whoooo!”

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Andrew: “Wow! It’s gonna be a Blursday blowout today, by the way”

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Andrew: “You’re just going blue!”

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Andrew and Luke: Andrew singing along with the funky bass and Luke saying “This is what it’s like to be you”

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Andrew and Luke: “I was VPN-ing in front of you, my friend (Man)”

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Andrew and Luke: “Live it up, Burbank! Yeah!”

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Andrew and Luke: “My guess (You’re right. You’re right) is was this had to do with my relation with Genevieve. This is about my relationship with you!! And, our friend group… (I’m not prepared for this!) and our friend group. (I’m not prepared for this!)”

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Andrew and Luke: “Oh, no! It’s not posted! Uh-oh… What did I do wrong!?”

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Andrew and Luke: “Sorry… (Yeah) I have to spit out this ice cube that accidentally went in my mouth”

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Andrew and Luke: “We didn’t talk about it… Genevieve just knew… Cuz, here’s the deal (Oh, damn!)”

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Kristina Lopez and Luke: “I was just trying to buy some avocados. Oh, really? God, what a Millennial… You’re probably gonna make toast… and not get a mortgage”

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Kristina Lopez and Luke: “You’re asking me, finally now, how long I was in the elevator? Yeah, this isn’t a sign that the interview’s over; but, I am just curious”

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Luke: “But, I could see you getting caught in a Whirling Dervish loop”

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Luke: “I’m feeling dangerous on this Thursday edition of the show”

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Luke: “I’m, right now, wondering if our friendship is a joke, Andrew”

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Luke: “Ice, Ice… Andy”

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Luke: Making guitar sounds along with “Right Way to Rock”

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Luke: “Roosevelt neighborhood of Seattle, Washington… Or, as I call it, ‘The Parking Ticket District of the Northwest'”

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Luke: “You… are loved, by many more people than we have time to list here”

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Luke and Andrew: “Ice Road Fucker? Whoooo!”

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Luke and Andrew: Singing “800-533-6800, Empire (Empire)”

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Luke and Andrew: “Weird, third-wheel… Burbs. Mmm-hmm. Old, third-wheel Burbs (Old, thir–Yep)”

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Luke and Andrew: “Where were you; and, what happened with this elevator situation? And, how long were you in there? I hate you!”

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