Clips From TBTL #2685

Luke: “Alright, that’s gonna be it… for the show today. Again, thank you, everyone. I know it was a little weird, I know it was overly confessional… it was rambly… it was… Well, you know… when I, when I describe it that way, it just sounds like it’s a, basically, a normal episode of the show. So, maybe it was”

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Luke: “And, I laughed… my… ass off”

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Luke: “And, I told you all this. This is gonna be a weird show. This is me… sitting in the offices of Burbank Springs… just talking… for however long I have words in me”

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Luke: “And, it’s amazing!!”

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Luke: “But, I’ve also just been in a weird… funk… all day. I can’t really explain it”

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Luke: “Emo Tuesday”

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Luke: “Forty-two year old man sitting here… shirtless… trying to tell you that… I love you”

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Luke: “I got the other half of the box of crackers out… we were out of normal cheese… I ate it with Kraft Singles… That… I just want you to understand, that is the state of my life right now, everybody”

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Luke: “I just said it, I’m going there… So, buckle up, everybody. It’s happening”

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Luke: “I’m a… forty-two year old man… sitting here shirtless… By the way… you’re welcome for that visual. I told you, it’s a million degrees here”

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Luke: “Oh my God, this is taking so long!!”

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Luke: Quietly saying “Oh, no”

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Luke: Saying “More? Sir, could we have more?” as Oliver Twist

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Luke: “So, so much… for the paleo diet”

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Luke: “Something’s going on with me. I mean, I dunno if… it’s changing of season. Do, do we have… do we have man-o-pause?”

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Luke: “That’s good!”

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Luke: “When… I’m in the bathroom here at Burbank Springs… I… we are a… well, I can’t speak for, can’t speak for my wife… As far as I know, she’s never gone number two… our entire marriage”

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Luke: “Where are you going with that, dude?”

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Luke: “You shoulda gotten your S together… at this point… if you meant to listen to S-Town”

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Clips From TBTL #2684: Part Two

Luke: “Are you my new dad?”

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Luke: “Are you shitting me?”

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Luke: “Because… I’m an idiot”

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Luke: “Buckle up, America”

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Luke: “But… this is… honestly… this is the tow of shame”

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Luke: Describing how he ended up hanging from a dock

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Luke: “Don’t… frick with someone who has nothing to lose!!!”

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Luke: “Everything in… go out, crash it… run out of gas, drag it back, everything out”

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Luke: “Fuck it”

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Luke: “I am hanging from the fucking dock!”

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Luke: “I don’t know what the frick I’m doing. Now, why I decided to say ‘frick’ there… is… is… is confusing”

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Luke: “I got a thing!”

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Luke: “I just wanted to Judy Garland it so hard this whole time… just click my heels together and just be not… not… captain… of the… SS… Disaster Voyage”

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Luke: “I’d rather be in jail right now than on this boat trying to manage this situation”

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Luke: “I’m having fun!”

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Luke: “It was one of the most humiliating afternoons of my entire life; so much so, that when it was happening… I made a promise to myself… which was… do not talk about this on TBTL… And, here we are… twenty-four hours later, I’m about to talk about it on TBTL”

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Luke: “It was the Shackleton Expedition… meets… Tom… Hanks in Cast Away… meets… Gilligan’s Island”

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Luke: “It’s just… bananas”

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Luke: Laughing

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Luke: “Mr. Officer, are you my new dad?”

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Luke: “Never use them!! They burned down my house!!”

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Luke: “Not now, Toby. Not now”

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Luke: “Oh, shit. I’ve mostly forgotten how to do this”

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Luke: Saying “Look at that! The Arctic Explorer!” in a funny manner

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Luke: “So, she just, like, got all of her boating ya-yas out”

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Luke: “The boat had been dead the entire movie!”

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Luke: “We toss them, they’re awesome?”

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Luke: “We’ve got podcast to… to broadcast to you”

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Luke: “Well… this is how this ends”

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Luke: “What even is my life?”

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Luke: “What the hell, dude!?”

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Luke: “What’s going on here?”

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Luke: “Whatever happened out there in the water, I couldn’t handle that shit either!”

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Luke: “Who’s in charge of this? And, then, I realized… I am!”

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Luke: “Whoa!”

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Luke: “Whoomp, there it remains”

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Luke: “Yeah, it’d be a real shame if there were bad reviews of your pizza restaurant”

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Clips From TBTL #2684: Part One

Andrew: “Anyway. So, if you wanna start bumping in with Kidz Bop or bopping in with Kidz Bump… whatever… I think I’m the man for it”

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Andrew: “Bonjour, you cheese-eating surrender monkeys!!”

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Andrew: “But, I’m also… lazy and a home body”

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Andrew: “But, they just lie… They all just lie”

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Andrew: “Cuz, I gotta go back in. They gotta cut more… chunks of my tongue out”

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Andrew: “Even though it would be so much more of a pain in my butt”

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Andrew: “Fuck!”

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Andrew: “Hippie-dippie Wallingford signs”

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Andrew: “I don’t know what my rules are”

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Andrew: “I hate myself the most when I get… into a stompy, whiny… baby… And, I did get into a stompy, whiny baby”

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Andrew: “I love going to the dump!”

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Andrew: “I… I do think you’re wrong”

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Andrew: “In all seriousness, if you ever play the… me saying, ‘Wassup!’ thing again… I will… That, that’s… that is honestly the closest I’ve ever to come, just like, walking out of a show… is you playing that… Don’t. I hear you looking for it. Don’t”

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Andrew: “Is it listenable?”

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Andrew: “Now, what?”

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Andrew: “Oh my God!”

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Andrew: “Oh, God!”

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Andrew: “Oh, so… for the next TBTL-a-thon, do you wanna boat our way to Mississippi?”

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Andrew: “Oh, this plane is chock full of empty seats!”

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Andrew: “Oh… God!”

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Andrew: “Surrender monkeys!”

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Andrew: “Thanks for making me check my bag… even though there’s tons of room on here, Alaska Airlines!”

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Andrew: “What do you think ‘Flat’ means, idiot?!”

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Andrew and Luke: Andrew reacting to Luke being told he was an idiot by a boat repairman

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Andrew and Luke: Andrew snorting and Luke saying “Here’s, here’s, here’s what’s happening”

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Andrew and Luke: “Whoomp… Whoomp… There it remains”

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Andrew and Luke: “Wow, you’re really sweeping the quarter hour! I think I’m… I’m knee-capping the quarter hour. That’s the problem”

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Luke and Andrew: “Or the place where, I think, Dominique Strauss-Kahn might still has his job!!! Washing boats!!! Exac…That explains a lot. (That’s how you…) This guy was swearing at me in French”

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Luke and Andrew: “So, I have… already now… gone on–careened on to the wrong side of the narrow alley and I’ve hit… the back… of a boat; like, louder and harder than I’ve hit anything so far (Oh, no)”

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Luke and Andrew: “This is the hill I’m gonna die on? (Yeah)”

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Clips From TBTL #2683

Luke: “And, then, I told her, ‘Oh, this is no big deal. I know this is gonna be fine.’ And, then, I open it. I was like, ‘This is not gonna be fine'”

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Luke: “And, we just run up and down the mall… sucking on white chocolates… That was my childhood”

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Luke: “Aw, shit!”

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Luke: “Feliz… cumpleaños”

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Luke: “Fuck you!”

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Luke: “Give me a break!”

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Luke: “I did it”

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Luke: “I don’t know why I’m having so many traffic woes right now”

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Luke: Laughing

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Luke: Luke’s in charge of recording the show and wasn’t sure if the show was recorded properly and could be posted

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Luke: “Not true at all, Nora”

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Luke: “Oh… my… God… I am not able to function in the adult human world… by myself”

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Luke: Quietly saying “I am so… so screwed!”

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Luke: “She likes you, dude… you… ya dummy!”

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Luke: “She-shed”

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Luke: “They’re made of some weird-ass milk… whey dust or something”

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Luke and Nora McInerny: “Nora, as always, thank you so much for taking time out of your schedule… I really appreciate it. It’s really fun talking to you. (Thank you, Andrew for, for… for leaving… You know)”

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Luke and Nora McInerny: “Well… I, I wanna tell you what happened; but, I don’t want to spoil those episodes for you. So… Yeah, don’t spoil it for me. Don’t spoil it. Don’t spoil it”

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Nora McInerny: “Bish, you do not”

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Nora McInerny: “Brag, brag”

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Nora McInerny: “Exactly… Exactly”

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Nora McInerny: “It would not be worth it. Nothing… would be worth that… Okay?”

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Nora McInerny: “One, thanks for ruining it for me”

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Nora McInerny: “Watch your back, Walsh”

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Nora McInerny: “Wow!”

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Clips From TBTL #2682

Andrew: “And then, my second question for you is; that’s, that wasn’t a question”

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Andrew: “Bing, bing, bing”

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Andrew: Doo-dooing four notes of the Doogie Howser, M.D. theme and saying “Now this”

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Andrew: Drawn out “No!”

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Andrew: “Eh… Maybe?”

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Andrew: “He’s Andrew Walsh, the bewildering podcaster… He connects thoughts that have no connection”

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Andrew: “Honestly, people don’t realize how disruptive they’re being”

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Andrew: “I don’t know, man”

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Andrew: “If we end up in Canada, I think something has gone wrong”

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Andrew: Laughing

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Andrew: “Like a Burbank would appreciate”

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Andrew: “Like, I can totally picture it… yet… there is literally zero evidence online… that this exists outside of my brain grapes”

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Andrew: “Like, I don’t know!”

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Andrew: “My, God! Do you know… that you are, just like, rocking my world up here; as, you are just trying to squeeze out to use the restroom?”

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Andrew: “Now I feel used”

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Andrew: “Oohler, explicit”

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Andrew: Saying “I’m glad I’m not single” in a sing-songy manner

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Andrew: Saying “Spooky” in a spooky and drawn out manner

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Andrew: “Second verse just like the first!”

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Andrew: “‘Thanks for taking care of my poop diddy whoop scoops'”

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Andrew: “That would just… shatter my world”

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Andrew: “That’s ironic coming from me”

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Andrew: “That’s weird”

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Andrew: “The Blursday Blowout Bonanza”

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Andrew: “The podcast that… is too beautiful to smash with a giant hammer”

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Andrew: “This is a real Burbanky question”

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Andrew: “What else we got? We got Katie… she says, ‘My brother Zack is my TBTL Daddy’… Eww”

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Andrew: “Wow! The memory on you”

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Andrew: “You gonna poop!?”

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Andrew and Luke: “Hey, guess what I lost? I lost my… (Your Blursday list) my Blursday list”

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Luke: “But, I’m gonna record the show tomorrow. I’m gonna kinda do some of the basics… and, then… Kiki Lolo is gonna help with me with some of the… more complicated parts of posting it. So, we should… Phamdemort, talking to you, we should have the show posted in proper audio quality”

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Luke: Drawn out, high-pitched “Well”

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Luke: “I don’t know what any of those words you used mean, like, literally any of them; but, I’m interested”

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Luke: “I might even say it would have been ‘off the sharts'”

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Luke: “Oohler, get outta here!”

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Luke: Saying “How dare you make fun of middle-class people?” as Sarah Palin

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Luke: Saying “That’s not how I would raise my family!” in a gruff manner

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Luke: Saying “What do I do with myself?” in a funny manner

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Luke: “Thank God you have Genevieve in your life!”

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Luke: “What!?!”

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Luke: “What I do know… Andrew is, we have a… crapload of Blursdays to do”

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Luke: “You don’t worry your pretty little head about it”

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Luke: “You dose the cookies with a little bit of Molly… and, it’s the most fun flight ever!”

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Luke and Andrew: “And, let’s do… some… e-mails and… Blurs-mails. Is Blurs-mails a thing? Is now”

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Luke and Andrew: “I, I haven’t looked at Oohler’s, any of Oohler’s paperwork. I don’t even know if Oohler’s in this country legally. Good… God… We’re gonna build a wall and make Oohler pay for it”

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Luke and Andrew: Luke’s drops were coming in real hot and Andrew wanted Luke to turn them down

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Luke and Andrew: Role-playing a discussion on whether or not it was cool or not for Sacha Baron Cohen to pretend to be a disabled veteran

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Clips From TBTL #2681

Andrew: “God bless you for making it; but, that’s not the life for me. I’m too lazy”

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Andrew: “I don’t usually consider myself a huge… Burns-head”

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Andrew: “I like to slurp ’em up with a big straw”

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Andrew: “I think ‘Dandy’ is gender-neutral”

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Andrew: “Lemme ask you a question, Luke”

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Andrew: “No, I don’t know what that is”

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Andrew: “Not using straws is fun!”

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Andrew: “Ooh, explicit!”

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Andrew: Saying “We love you Miss… Mitch Haniger” in a sing-songy manner

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Andrew: Snorting

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Andrew: “Strapless, strawless. Whatever”

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Andrew: “The clicking is terrible; but, aside from that, I love this!”

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Andrew: “Well, what’s… the rest of the story?”

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Andrew: “Were there any girls in my class I didn’t have a crush on at some point, like… growing up?”

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Andrew: “Who’s your TBTL Dandy?”

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Andrew: “Yeah, let’s say if, if you heard about the show from Wait Wait… Don’t Tell Me!, then Peter Sagal is your TBTL Daddy… And, that means, Peter Sagal has so many… TBTL children all around this country”

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Andrew: “You know, that would… that would hit me… that would hit me where it hurts”

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Andrew: “You’re, you’re like Pontius Pilate washing your hands of this?”

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Andrew and Luke: Andrew singing along with the Doogie Howser, M.D. theme and Luke saying “Alright”

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Andrew and Luke: Comparing Luke taking out his earbuds while keeping his headphones on with women taking their bras off without taking off their shirts

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Andrew and Luke: “I’m sorry. You were–you said strawless and… and strapless a million times (Yes)”

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Andrew and Luke: TBTL Daddy vs TBTL Dandy

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Andrew and Luke: Trying to come up with a mashup of “Hoopla” and “Poop diddy whoop scoop, poop!”

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Luke: “How sad is my life?”

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Luke: “I sorta like to just swoop in for the hoopla”

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Luke: “I, I dunno. Do they make… cat… sunglasses? Do they make… sunglasses for, for kittens?”

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Luke: “It’s too early for him to get a fish tan-wich… or, even, a fish sandwich”

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Luke: “Kevin and Anita! It’s a mistake!”

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Luke: “Kitty Ray-Bans”

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Luke: “Oh, shit, dude!”

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Luke: Saying “We love you Mark Harbinger” in a sing-songy manner

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Luke: Saying “We love you Miss Hannigan” in a sing-songy manner

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Luke: Saying “We love you Mitch Haniger” in a sing-songy manner

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Luke: Singing “Knee deep in the hoopla”

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Luke: Singing “Knee deep in the hoopla” #2

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Luke: Singing “Storms are brewing in your eyes”

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Luke: “Sorry, I’m just being boring here”

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Luke: “Yeah, man… It’s mas true”

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Luke: “You good? Cool. You good? Cool. You good?”

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Luke: “You have… you have roused this rabble”

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Luke: “You’re done with that, right, nerd?”

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Luke and Andrew: “A Blursday Blowout? Oh my God!!”

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Luke and Andrew: “I guess, my, my auto-correct is a little sexier than I (It is!) expect it to be (Oh, ‘Explicit!’)”

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Luke and Andrew: Luke used another clip of Andrew saying something as part of Andrew’s introduction and Andrew doesn’t like it

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