Tag: Luke Burbank

Andrew: “And my uncle was like, ‘Oh my God, it’s shaking like my dog shitting peach pits!'”

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Andrew: Andrew has a story about going number two and he was thinking about Luke

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Andrew: “Buckle up, everybody.”

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Andrew: “Hey Poopster, where’ve you been?”

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Andrew: “How is it that nobody has made a movie called ‘Bad Beth and Beyond’?”

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Andrew: “I almost didn’t have the toilet, the, the, the means to do my paperwork.”

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Andrew: “I hear almost like a Predator-like purring sound.”

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Andrew: “I was really hoping that this podcast was gonna end with just, like, yelling for Carey. The way I had to yell for my mom when I was too young to know how to use the restroom correctly.”

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Andrew: “It’s all coming together!!! Oh my God!”

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Andrew: “Nice!!!”

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Andrew: “Oh my God!”

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Andrew: “Oh, God!!!”

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Andrew: “Sure, let’s hear this baby.”

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Andrew: “Thank you.”

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Andrew: The Walsh family crest has a sausage on it

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Andrew: “There’s no power out here. Well…”

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Andrew: “Wah-waah”

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Andrew: “Wha-I’m sorry???”

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Andrew: “Yeah, whatever. Just go wherever.”

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Andrew: “You know my friend, Andrew Walsh, over here, he’s a pooping machine that breaks down a lot.”

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Andrew: “You’re a poopin’ machine. Just say it. Just brag.”

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Andrew and Luke: “Let’s do this one dry. (Pffft!) Was that part of the problem when you tried to go?”

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Andrew and Luke: Too Beautiful To Live Free Or Die

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Luke: “Get your mind out of the gutter”

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Luke: “I make no apologies.”

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Luke: “I would put the terror alert in my stomach at elevated.”

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Luke: “It all… It would all work!”

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Luke: “No one should be a ten.”

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Luke: “No, but that’s awful!”

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Luke: “Oh! Were you shitting your brains out?”

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Luke: “Ow! It’s kind of hurting my calves.”

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Luke: “Pffft!”

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Luke: “Right.”

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Luke: Sound of Luke’s foot and calf massager

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Luke: “T’was the night before the night before Christmas”

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Luke: “That’s just how fierce my exercising is going to be.”

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Luke: “The bearded clam”

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Luke: “There are three things that I care about when getting a massage, on the rare occasion that that happens… And don’t, get your mind out of the gutter.”

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Luke: “This… is gonna ruin my life.”

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Luke: “You know, I can suck my gut in and, somehow, duck face this enough”

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Luke and Andrew: “And it broke. Is it seriously not working? No, I don’t know. I’m probably not pressing the right button.”

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Luke and Andrew: Andrew got confused when Luke said “No one should be a ten.”

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Luke and Andrew: Andrew is trying to console Luke after Luke thinks he broke his new foot massager

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Luke and Andrew: Andrew laughing to Luke saying “And I’m slightly trapped, I can’t get to my miso!”

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Luke and Andrew: Human Touch Reflex 4 or Human Flex and the Flecktones

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Luke and Andrew: “I always look at the toilet paper as half dry. Of course you do!”

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Luke and Andrew: “I’m gonna be working out so hard, I’m gonna be building my beef castle so hard (Mmm-hmm)”

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Luke and Andrew: “If only I had a way to get hot water here in the studio, Andrew. Oh wait, it turns out I do! It’s all coming together!!! Oh my God!”

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Luke and Andrew: Laughing

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Luke and Andrew: Luke laughing in a cute manner while Andrew is talking

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Luke and Andrew: Luke thought his massager broke and that his feet and calves were trapped

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Luke and Andrew: “Mens rooms at bars are a real crapshoot, literally. (Wah waah)”

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Luke and Andrew: “Miso soup, by the way, turning water into salty water (Yes!) for over ten thousand years! And, you know what? I’ll take it.”

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Luke and Andrew: “Sounds like you, much like my Shiatsu massager, you’re a poopin’ machine that breaks down a lot. Thank you.”

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Luke and Andrew: “‘When’s Brandon coming over?’ and you say ‘Luke, Brandon died years ago.’ Oh, ho, that’s sad!”

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Luke: “And we’ll see you tomorrow to everybody else; or, those of you who have fallen and can’t get to the podcast. We’ll, we’ll, we’ll hope to entertain you during last hours before the 911 gets there.”

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Luke: “Aww, dang it!”

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Luke: “Back to life, back to reality, back to the here and now. However do you want it, Andrew. However do you need it.”

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Luke: “Dozens!”

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Luke: “I was giving zero F words about anything in the eating department, in the not working out department, in the alcohol consumption department…”

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Luke: “It really spiced things up Christmas morning”

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Luke: Luke’s ringtone went off mid-sentence

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Luke: “Mr. Andrew ‘Professor’ Walsh”

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Luke: “My de-slobification though, I think is going to be a runaway success.”

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Luke: “Previously on Breakfast”

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Luke: Quarterbacks getting slobberknockered

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Luke: Saying “Oh, technology” and playing the “Let the fun begin” drop

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Luke: “Screw it, dude!”

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Luke: “Slobberknocker”

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Luke: “The answer is always probably.”

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Luke: “The food was n’are redic [ph], the family vibes were the illest.”

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Luke: “Which means today, let’s see, December the 28th, in the year of our Lord Two-thousand and Fifteen, today is the first day of the rest of my life as a non-slob.”

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Luke: “You may be a podcast host”

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Luke and Andrew: Before Couch and After Couch

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Luke and Andrew: “Hawkenfreude? Hawkenfreude is great!!!”

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Luke and Andrew: “It was a double win, because, not only did I want an electric tea kettle; but, I also wanted to win the argument about if I was allowed to have an electric kettle. That my friend, is the Gift of the Magi. Now, do you… No it’s not.”

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Luke and Andrew: “Like a scarecrow filled with… (Straw?) He’s filled with Michelob Ultra and spider farts.”

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Luke and Andrew: Luke is a snore monster and a snoring machine

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Luke and Andrew: Luke playing sounds from his “Instant Audience” device he got for Christmas

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Luke and Andrew: Luke softened Carey’s heart of stone into a heart of tolerating mold

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Luke and Andrew: “We’ve kind of got a Bladder of Damocles hanging over the… Oh, God!”

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Andrew: “Burbank it”

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Andrew: “Don’t you have a beef log you need to eat too?”

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Andrew: “Ha Ha-Ha!”

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Andrew: “Hawkenfruede is great!!!”

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Andrew: “I am building a beef castle, but it is a castle made of beef that I plan on eating later. It’s mostly ground, but the floors are made of rib eye.”

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Andrew: “I didn’t get an electric tea kettle, but things are still fine with my relationship. I guess, I don’t know. I can’t even tell anymore.”

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Andrew: “I guess the proof will be in the pudding.”

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Andrew: “I’m merely a sidekick”

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Andrew: “It’s got Luke Burbank written all over it.”

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Andrew: Laughing and saying “No! I can’t!”

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Andrew: “My jokes are fine, it’s my stories that get the crickets.”

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Andrew: “Ohh, you’re gonna love the living tweedle out of this story.”

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Andrew: “That. Little. Hussy.”

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Andrew: “That’s the first time that anybody has accused of [sic] Carey of having a heart of stone.”

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Andrew: “There are dozens of us.”

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Andrew: “This season, give the gifts of GIFs.”

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Andrew: “Well eventually, it’s gonna be TBTL with Andrew Walsh and Corey What’s-his-face”

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Andrew: “What happened?!?”

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Andrew: “Whenever there’s an Angie’s List commercial on TV, I want to hide under the couch.”

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Andrew: “Yeah!”

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Andrew and Luke: Candle Snuggies

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Andrew and Luke: “No, don’t throw it away, keep it. Eventually, just… Burbank it. Keep using it (That’s right.) over and over and over again until you realize, you absolutely need it.”

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Andrew and Luke: The difference between a host and a sidekick is counterstop space

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Andrew: Singing “Sometimes being the operative word”

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Andrew: “Well, you know, that’s why they pay me the big bucks!”

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Luke: “Andrew ‘Holy Shit-Snacks!’ Walsh”

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Luke: Drawn out “Yeah!”

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Luke: “Happy Birthday Jesus”

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Luke: “I saved it for Jesus’s birthday.”

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Luke: “Or not even edit the clip properly.”

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Luke: Singing “Also, callbacks are sometimes good”

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Luke: Singing “Forward promotions you work so well”

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Luke and Andrew: For The Love Of Arby’s

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Luke and Andrew: Singing “Forward promotions you work so well. Also, callbacks are sometimes good. Sometimes being the operative word.”

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Luke and Andrew: “You want to talk about a Power Out. Giving birth to the King of Kings when you don’t even know who the father is, in a manger. That is the ultimate Power Out. That is the ultimate Power Out! Good job, everybody! Yeah!”

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Andrew: “I’m looking for a slide whistle, can’t find it. Typical Walsh. Dixie’s BBQ, Wikipedia… Merry Christmas everybody. I ruined, I ruined the holidays again.”

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Andrew: Laughing

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Andrew: Nasally chuckle

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Andrew and Luke: “Conad Heads? Conad, like NORAD but the original version. Did you even get the reference? No. No, I did not… I really didn’t. Cause it was stupid.”

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Andrew and Luke: “I don’t know a lot about art, but my understanding is performance art means smearing something on your body? Yes!”

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Andrew and Luke: “I’m gonna get a bell! That’d be like you getting a real slide whistle.”

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Andrew and Luke: “Tomorrow’s show is my daughter’s bris. Which is definitely… Ahh, I have got to do more research into Judaic traditions. Like… yeah.”

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Luke: “Andrew ‘I just love Hot Cheetos!’ Walsh”

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Luke: “Notice me MapQuest, notice me.”

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Luke: Singing “Time for more TBTL”

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Luke and Andrew: An excuse to drink or huff whisky

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Luke and Andrew: “Cone. Conad Heads. Umm… did the line go dead? Cuz that was a decent joke. Sadly, sadly it did not. Sadly, it did not, you son of a… I’m glad you’re working this week. Cratchit.”

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Luke and Andrew: “How much of what I just said is even remotely accurate? You tell me”

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