Category: Audio Clips

Andrew: “And next to it is, just like, the most… stereotypical, 2017 hipster-y, hipster girl”

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Andrew: “Arrrrrrr!”

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Andrew: “But, which is the other Shannon?”

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Andrew: Clapping, Playing “(I Had) The Time of My Life” and a clip of Sergio Dipp

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Andrew: “Do I have enough Supertramp?”

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Andrew: “Except for me now. Now, I’m the ass.”

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Andrew: “I am jealous of everybody’s rumpus rooms”

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Andrew: “I don’t like these bodegas, matey!”

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Andrew: “I expect Dream Andrew and Dream Luke to be a little bit better to Dream Shannon”

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Andrew: “I feel pretty shitty about this”

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Andrew: “I just don’t believe saving the buggy whips for the sake of saving the buggy whips”

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Andrew: “I’m gonna use the word, ‘optics’. Trigger warning, everybody. I’m gonna say ‘optics,’ probably a lot, during this conversation.”

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Andrew: “It was BYOD… Bring Your Own Donation”

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Andrew: “It’s a real dreamy episode of TBTL today”

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Andrew: “Like, I love you, Luke; but, please don’t send me an emoji of your face, okay?”

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Andrew: “Luke… I’m gonna break the fourth wall here for a second”

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Andrew: “Oh, God, that’s gross!”

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Andrew: “That’s not how, that’s not how food works”

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Andrew: “Turns out, Chevy makes all kinds of super-ugly cars!”

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Andrew: “Why do you say that?”

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Andrew: “Woohoo!”

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Andrew: “Yeah, it’s Wolfgang Punk [sic]“

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Andrew: “Yesterday, I was watching an episode of Monk with… Genevieve; and, something happened, that happens… from time to time, as you’d imagine when I watch Monk. Which is, I have a very Monk-y reaction to something.”

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Andrew and Luke: “I did not do that, though. I did not do that! I did not steal the nuts! I did (I did not) steal a cup of coffee once.”

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Luke: “Although, I guess, there are a few other people listening”

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Luke: “And, it just feels so different when… you lived… in… Manha-many… [ph] Minnesota. That’s not even a place! Why did I pick the weirdest theoretical place?”

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Luke: “Blackbeard the Turnip Murderer?”

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Luke: “Boom. Roasted.”

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Luke: “Conk, conk!!”

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Luke: “I didn’t want to be fired from KIRO for stealing cashews. I wanted to be fired from KIRO for low ratings. And, and, I probably would have; but, I quit before they could do it.”

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Luke: “I, I shall deliver to you… one Fargield, my good man”

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Luke: “I’m having the time… of my life here at episode two-thousand four-hundred… and sixty-seven in a collective… Collective series!? Yes… we’re t-taking the show in a very collectivist… direction. Just FYI, everybody.”

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Luke: “It was… BYOS: Bring Your Own Show”

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Luke: “More glass seems like mo’ problems for me”

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Luke: “Okay, Burbank, you’ve waited long enough. Treat yourself with the iPhone X.”

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Luke: “Okay. Let’s… let’s do a scan, body. Let’s check all of the quadrants.”

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Luke: “Ooh, my face”

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Luke: Quietly asking “What is wrong with me?”

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Luke: “Santa emoji, poop emoji… dancing emoji. Thumbs up emoji. Thumbs to the middle emoji.” ??????

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Luke: Saying “Aye… Ye are taking my turnip business… because, you’ve… got all this stuff in that one little, small, convenient location” in a pirate farmer’s accent

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Luke: “That was the most stoner thing you’ve ever said”

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Luke: “That’s so beautiful, Andrew”

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Luke: “Update on the Pod-pets, they’re doing great”

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Luke: “Violence is never the answer”

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Luke: “We’ll… we’ll dip into that. We’ll Sergio Dipp into that later.”

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Luke and Andrew: “Save that for the Halloween show, bub. Yeah, right!”

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A, yet to be identified, listener left a voicemail for Luke and Andrew in which she sang a song about “Jalapeña”, which was played at the very beginning of the show.

Listener: Jalapeña Song

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Andrew: “‘ASAP’ is a trigger word for me via e-mail”

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Andrew: Curious Sound

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Andrew: “Football! Boop, boop, boop”

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Andrew: “I concur. It was a Concur joke!”

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Andrew: “I got a lot of bees under my bonnet”

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Andrew: “I licked my chops like a cartoon wolf”

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Andrew: “I lost you somewhere in this spoof. I’m lost in a spoof. Is that a song by Tayler Dayne?”

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Andrew: “I was gonna ask you that too. Other than, ‘Did you poop?’ I was gonna ask you, did you cry?”

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Andrew: “I was… gonna do a little… experiment with you today”

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Andrew: “I’m lost in a spoof”

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Andrew: Saying “Boop, boop, boop” in a deep voice

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Andrew: Saying “Dip, dip, dip” in a deep voice

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Andrew: Saying “I know!” in a funny manner

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Andrew: Singing “Chrome River”

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Andrew: “This might sound weird”

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Andrew: “You gotta stick through the poo!”

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Andrew: “You know I love me some humor in uniform!”

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Luke: “By the way… more on why I, I think my life doesn’t have any meaning in a moment”

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Luke: “C-O-B-O-O-B”

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Luke: “I feel like that would be a super-group: Matisyahu Mouse”

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Luke: “If this was No Point Conversion, I would tell you exactly why he’s not a coach… anymore. And, it’s not; but, I will.”

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Luke: “In retrospect, it’s… kind of cornball”

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Luke: “It’s also why… I hate the rapper A$AP Rocky. I just feel like he needs… to… I’ll get to you when as I can, Rocky!”

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Luke: “Long story longer, and with less of a power out”

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Luke: Making a funny, high pitched sound

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Luke: “Oh my goodness! Well, there goes my theory.”

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Luke: “Oh! And, by the way… today… is the… day that Apple announced the new iPhone!”

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Luke: Saying “I did not” in a funny manner

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Luke: Saying “This is where I took Geology” as Troy McClure

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Luke: Saying “This is where it all started” in a gruff voice

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Luke: “That is life changing!”

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Luke: Thinking mouth sounds

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Luke: “This is the most… I mean, we are inside an episode of Dilbert… right now”

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Luke: “We are gonna get… jalapeño business… today, as we do in the… Sorry about that. Just had to get out of my system.”

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Luke: “We’ve never been more Biz Dev. We’ve never been more UX… then we are today”

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Luke: “What’s in your wallet?”

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Luke: “You know… I’m, I’m, I’m excited about this; but, I do feel like… I think I may have turned you; and, I may have created a monster.”

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Luke and Andrew: “Alright, we got about five minutes for this, bruh. Alright. Can I use all five? Can I use three of them? Yep. (Actually, three and a half) I’ll allow it.”

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Luke and Andrew: “Keith Stone of Libertyville, Illinois. Wow. Please… (Hold my stones) Keith Stone is not a real person.”

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Luke and Andrew: “Look what you made me spoof. Look what you made me spoof. (Okay, I’m writing…) Look what you just, look what you just… (Sorry, Dippin’ Don’ts)”

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Luke and Andrew: “Well, that person just shit their brains out. Right”

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Luke and Andrew: “When you, when you go low, you also go high (Yeah)”

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Note: Clips from the “No Point Conversion” portion of the show will be posted separately at a later time.

 

Andrew: “But, I also have mad FOMO. And, like, here I am!”

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Andrew: “But, the beauty of being a fill-in is, I don’t give a crap if it’s like… how… I hate to say it, I hope they’re not listening, how on mission it is”

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Andrew: “But, yeah. For TBTL… Yeah.”

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Andrew: “Can you tell I’ve been… at KIRO radio all day? I’m full of hot takes.”

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Andrew: “Dream achieved!”

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Andrew: “I don’t know what I was gonna say. I got real bumbly there at the end.”

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Andrew: “I just gotta be me, Luke!”

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Andrew: “I think we’re both a little bit… wrong, we’re both a little bit right”

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Andrew: “I’m full of hot takes.”

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Andrew: “It’s fine”

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Andrew: “Let’s face it… I’m good at using a million words when two will do”

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Andrew: “Let’s just do it. Let’s do it. What… what do you wanna talk about?”

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Andrew: “New Hampshire!?”

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Andrew: “Nothing worse than a dummy who thinks they’re smart and blowing our minds, man.”

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Andrew: “Oh, God! Every time I almost come around on him”

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Andrew: “That kind of flexing of celebrity BS to people you look down on because they’re part of the celebrity… machine that you… profit off of disgusts me. Can you tell I’ve been… at KIRO radio all day? I’m full of hot takes.”

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Andrew: “You know what? I’m gonna blow their minds when I get to the dormitory.”

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Andrew: ???

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Andrew and Luke: Andrew jokingly says that there isn’t anyone going through all the shows, pulling clips and archiving them and Luke plays the Marsupial Gurgle sound

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Andrew and Luke: “But… I… I don’t believe you. I believe that you (Really) believe that”

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Andrew and Luke: “Hey, hold on a second. So, this isn’t, this is not… going out over the air? Is this a taped thing that we’re gonna put on the air later? My publicist (Yeah, yeah) said this was a… this was legit. (Yeah, well…)”

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Andrew and Luke: “I have no idea, man. Okay. It’s almost like I should’ve prepped for this.”

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Luke: “Cuz, if you fire me, I turn into a turnip; and, you can’t get blood from me!”

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Luke: “Get me Michael Bay on line two!”

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Luke: “I guess it hasn’t been that long”

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Luke: “Isn’t this nice?”

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Luke: Saying “Luke… we must have you here at All Things Considered” in a British accent

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Luke: Saying “Pretty… pretty… pretty” in a funny, drawn out manner

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Luke: “Speaking of… I have too many jobs”

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Luke: “The wheels on a bus go ’round and ’round”

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Luke: “We don’t know how much longer this should go on… Let’s burn this motherfucker to the ground.”

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Luke: “You know, part of me was like… ‘Really, cat? Like, why would you… Why do you climb up onto something you can’t get down from?'”

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Luke and Andrew: “Charles Rose… of Lynnwood, Washington. Are you kidding me!? Charlie Rose… listens to this show; and, he lives in Lynnwood? And he, and he supports the show. That’s great… He just got done interviewing Steve Bannon; then, he (Yes) re-upped his membership. And then, he… I guess, went back to drinking.”

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Luke and Andrew: “Do you have one… Yep, that’s all I have. I have one (Perfect) wiki. That’s (Perfect) literally all I have.”

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Luke and Andrew: Luke asking if Andrew recognizes the song and Andrew starts doot-dooing to it

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Luke and Andrew: “Power in! Power in.”

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Luke and Andrew: “You legit sound good co-hosting a talk radio show. Thanks! I dunno know… You might take that as an insult!”

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Andrew: “Also, though, I gotta say… I’m gonna start putting ice on all of these. Like… drinking ginger beer without an ice cube in it is just an abomination.”

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Andrew: “Am I supposed to spit this out? I don’t wanna get drunk”

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Andrew: “Bat-shit crazy”

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Andrew: “Doop, doop, doop”

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Andrew: “God bless her”

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Andrew: “God… dang it!”

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Andrew: “I could be wrong. Like, we’ve proven many times on the show that my memory is for shit. I’ve had too much Pitch Black Mountain Dew. It’s just rotten. It’s just rotten up there now. But…”

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Andrew: “It has a… bouquet of weak-ass Dr. Pepper?”

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Andrew: “It walked on my pillow!”

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Andrew: “Oh-ho!”

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Andrew: “Oh, I am excited!”

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Andrew: “Oh, we’re tearing down the Wall of Jericho now”

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Andrew: “Tasting it. Mmm… tastes like… kind of tastes like weak-ass Dr. Pepper?”

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Andrew: “When’s that meat gonna be done, Luke?”

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Andrew: “Why am I putting ice cubes in cottage cheese!?!”

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Andrew: “You know that that’s my jam”

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Andrew and Luke: “I can’t remember what I put in there. Is it pretty bad? It tastes like… You’re wincing.”

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Andrew and Luke: “I love me… some grape soda. Mmm… really!?! Oh, you’re right! That’s not grape soda. Oh! That’s the cheese soda. Mmm, cottage! Oh, this is just cottage cheese!”

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Andrew and Luke: “Is this gonna tickle my T-bone? Oh, dear God. I hope not. Just, please wait until I leave before you do that. You’re the one who said it.”

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Andrew and Luke: “Oh, this is a clear one! This is what I call a ‘white wine soda’. Sure. Umm… Oh! Oh, God! This is my… baby”

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Andrew and Luke: “Second question I have for you is… any pumpkin spice (No) involved here? No, pumpkin spice. (Okay)”

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Luke: “Actually, one more little thing… before we officially power out today”

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Luke: “Every once in a while, I’ll tell you, those little audio drops, they just… they just tickle my T-bone”

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Luke: “Frankly, Scarlett, I don’t give a damn if you come down in this sewer!”

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Luke: “Hi, it’s Friday, everybody. Bear with us.”

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Luke: “I rage enough… that, that, that, that, that ups my manliness… across the board”

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Luke: “It was like Toomgis made me a suicide”

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Luke: “It’s hip to split”

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Luke: “Maybe I will. I’ll take a slug off of both of them.”

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Luke: Snickering

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Luke: “We finally found our song!”

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Luke: “You know me… and my… as is been described a lot on this show recently… my, kind of… my, my constant fear that my wife doesn’t think I’m manly enough. Probably, because, I’m not.”

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Luke: “You’re wincing right now. You are actually wincing from what you just drank. What did you do?”

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Luke and Andrew: “And, I don’t think she has a… super overt British accent in ‘Downtown’. I don’t think that England is part of the UK. Oh, God dang it. I was thinking of Mountain Dew… Pitch Perfect”

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Luke and Andrew: “Darn… Durn… Durn… Good… Market”

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Luke and Andrew: “Downtown!! Rust–Rusted!”

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Luke and Andrew: “I drink a ton of diet products; which, is why… my, my physique is so incredible (Mmm)”

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Luke and Andrew: “I’m excited about my Music For Your Weekend pick… this week, Andrew. Can we just start with me? We always start with you. That’s fine! You probably don’t even have your song picked out… No, I do.”

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Luke and Andrew: “It’s the thing that, if you get sushi… it’s not the wasabi, but it’s something else. Oh, ginger! Of course! That’s exactly right. That’s what the taste is. It’s ginger!”

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Luke and Andrew: “Mackenzie says, ‘Hi Guys! Friday is coming’ Friday is here, Mackenzie. I guess you didn’t get the memo. Try to keep up, Mackenzie. This is getting embarrassing for everybody.”

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Luke and Andrew: “Tin roof!! Rust”

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Luke and Andrew: “What ever kind of Bitches Brew you wanna… Miles Davis over there (Easy)”

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Luke and Andrew: “You… run and get the ice. And, maybe the vodka”

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Luke: “Chad, Glen, John, Eliza, Pennywise… Wait a minute!”

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Luke: “Control yo-self”

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Luke: “Derry, Derry’s… dusting his hands off. I know that’s a lot of ‘D’s, dude”

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Luke: “For a day… or a lifetime”

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Luke: “I know we promised we were gonna try… talking about toilets and number twos, and Games of Thrones less. We can’t help it you guys. The most TBTL story of all time has been created; and, we are gonna tell you about it today.”

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Luke: “I was specifically asked not to bring this up; which, is why I’m gonna do it. It’s so germane to what you were just saying though”

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Luke: “I’m so tempted to… do some, kind of, ‘Now is the time on Sprockets where we dance'”

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Luke: Laughing

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Luke: Laughing #2

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Luke: Making a fart sound

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Luke: “Now is the time on TBTL when we… thank our donors of the day. I don’t even know what that accent is. I picked it up in Derry, New Hampshire.”

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Luke: “¿Ocupado?”

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Luke: “Oh, God”

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Luke: “People like being afraid of clowns, because it’s… makes them… seem random. But, anyway”

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Luke: Saying “He’s making a mockery out of you, boy!” with an Irish accent

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Luke: “There’s just no, there’s no pulling this show back from the abyss of grossness”

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Luke: “This is… podcasting verité. That’s right.”

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Luke: “Uh… do you happen to have a plunger? Because… my insides are rotten and I just destroyed your toilet.”

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Luke: “When I say that we’re raw dogging it on this show, I mean we’re podcasting without a condom. That’s it.”

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Luke: “Wow!”

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Luke and Andrew: “Andy said, ‘We’ve already got the most difficult stuff out of the way first.’ But, what if you don’t?”

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Luke and Andrew: “But… I, I shouted out to… TBTL Archivist Linh Pham, over there at Marsupial Gurgle. (Oh, yeah) And, I was like, ‘Hey, dude. Can you, like, pull that audio?’ And so, he did; and, he sent it to me last night”

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Luke and Andrew: “I mean, people can also choose to not have dirty, dirty minds. Right!”

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Luke and Andrew: “It’s Derry Kaepernick. Alright… now you’re just being hurtful.”

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Luke and Andrew: “This is the Raw Dog Podcast Network. People have asked that you stop saying that.”

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Luke and Andrew: “We did it, Andrew. We turned in, I think… the most scatological… and, also… batological… episode (True!) of TBTL, ever! And, punological… apparently (Yes)”

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Luke and Andrew: “We have a woman who wrote a book about Marcel Marceau… the mime. Sorry, I was just doing my imitation of Marcel Marceau. That’s… that’s pretty high concept.”

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Luke and Andrew: “When I say that we’re raw dogging it on this show, I mean we’re podcasting without a condom. That’s it. So, get your mind out of the gutter! And, go eat a bagel! (I did lookup) Go to the ATM… get some money, and go eat a bagel.”

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Andrew: “Ah… it, it’s injured, Jay!”

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Andrew: “Aww, dang!”

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Andrew: “Aww! Come on, buddy!”

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Andrew: “Damn, boy!”

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Andrew: “Did you clog something with your own defecation? Or… are you just looking for something to hit a piñata with?”

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Andrew: “I biffed it!”

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Andrew: “I had a crush on Christy”

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Andrew: “I had a ruh-roh face”

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Andrew: “I know you know it, Luke. I’m explaining to new listeners… and people who zone out when I talk”

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Andrew: “I was eighteen”

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Andrew: “I’m the king of doing that shit, man”

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Andrew: Laughing

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Andrew: Laughing #2

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Andrew: “Let’s just get right off the rails here”

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Andrew: “My business is done; but, I haven’t done the paperwork yet”

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Andrew: “Nah, forget about it. What’s going on with you? No, I’ll tell ya.”

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Andrew: “Psssssst!”

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Andrew: Saying “Hello, Luke!” in a really goofy manimal manner

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Andrew: “That’s become a very TBTL thing for both of us to do. I’m tempted to make a joke; but, it wouldn’t be very good. So, I’m just gonna mention the joke that I’m not making; because, it’s not very good.”

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Andrew: “Warning: If you thought my weird… manimal, clown-like sound was disturbing at the beginning of the show”

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Andrew: “What about, ‘Go eat a bagel, boggel, boogel’?”

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Andrew and Luke: Andrew had a memory recently

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Andrew and Luke: Andrew had potted Luke’s mic down and forgot about it

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Andrew and Luke: “I was gonna say, ‘Mrs. Brown, You’ve Got a Lovely Daughter’; but now (No!), that sounds dirty. Of course, it does.”

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Andrew and Luke: “Oh, God. Can you imagine what the snowflakes would do if they caught you doing that now, man? Oh, geez Louise.”

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Andrew and Luke: One has a dirty mind if ATM initially triggers a certain act instead of Automatic Teller Machine

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Andrew and Luke: “So, get your mind out of the gutter! And, go eat a bagel!”

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Andrew and Luke: “That was the weirdest, that was the most… unnormal thing that I could accomplish muster… after that intro. Mission accomplished! I know!”

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Andrew and Luke: “That will do, Luke. That will do. Husband, that will do.”

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