Category: Audio Clips

Audio Clips

Clips From TBTL #2260: Luke Burbank Edition

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Luke: “And we’re not going here, Andrew. We’re not going here!”

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Luke: “Andrew! Hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on. I’m sorry.”

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Luke: “Bring your yellow lab to work day”

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Luke: “Haute-y taute-y, French, snooty city”

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Luke: “I dunno why I’m swearing. I just figured we don’t have any listeners at this point in the show, so it’s fine.”

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Luke: “I’m forty also, and I have to tell you, it’s not as bad as I was expecting. So, that’s just a message from the other side.”

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Luke: “Ice, Ice Maybe?”

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Luke: “If Dallas turds the Florida”

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Luke: Laughing

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Luke: “Luke Burbank, Northwest Cable News”

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Luke: “Luke Burbank, Northwest Keiko News”

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Luke: “No, I have no morals”

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Luke: “Oh, holy shit. Look at what we did”

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Luke: “Rudy the Pod-dog”

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Luke: Saying “Today… I’d like to say… this is one of the worst… ending to… TBTL… of all time…” with a faux echo effect

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Luke: Saying “Yeah, this airline, or this particular aircraft we’re in has all kinds of new features, including live DirecTV; which, will work for about four more minutes, until we’re over the ocean” as airplane pilot over PA

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Luke: “Seattle losing to the Tampa Bay Bucs, fourteen to five. That’s a weird, ugly football number”

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Luke: “See, that shit would be interesting!”

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Luke: Singing “D-I-V-O-R-C-E”

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Luke: Snorting

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Luke: Snorting #2

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Luke: “So I thought, stupidly”

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Luke: “Special times with ol’ Dad-skis”

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Luke: “The ‘G’ is for Glass”

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Luke: “We got a Pod-dog here in the room with us. I don’t know why I’m saying ‘with us,’ like, there’s multiple people and then the dog in the room. It’s just me.”

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Luke: “We just went and laid a turd”

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Luke: “What!?!”

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Luke: “What!?!” #2

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Luke: “Yo, lay off the after-the-whistle stuff”

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Luke and Andrew: “He a shit eater to me! Whoa!”

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Luke and Andrew: “Hold on. You know what…? What’s going on? What’s gonna happen here?”

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Luke and Andrew: “I love this story. (Your story) It’s a beautiful story. I love your story.”

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Luke and Andrew: “In China, which, I want to clarify, is not Japan. Hmm… You sure?”

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Luke and Andrew: “Should we thank our Patsy Cline (Oh, yeah) … Blue Moon of Kentucky level donors of the day?”

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Luke and Andrew: “The coach from Oz! He’s so distracting with his good looks.”

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Luke and Andrew: “You’re such a good friend, Andrew. (No problem) I really appreciate it… (Now it’s time)”

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Audio Clips

Clips From TBTL #2260: Andrew Walsh Edition

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Andrew: “Andrew Walsh in 2016 needs meat to survive”

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Andrew: “Are you allowed to cough on stage during Live Wire; cuz, now I’m worried about that”

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Andrew: “Assuming that it’s a fun show and you’re making me laugh a lot, Luke”

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Andrew: “But, I dunno, man”

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Andrew: Chuckle

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Andrew: “Don’t make a mountain out of a hill, please.”

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Andrew: “Dr. Frankenstein’s fant? Is that what you’re trying to think of here?”

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Andrew: “Everybody’s interested in Super Bowl commercials!”

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Andrew: “For real!”

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Andrew: “Here’s the deal; and, this is the absolutely God-dern truth of the matter”

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Andrew: “Hmm. I can’t help you, cuz I don’t know.”

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Andrew: “How do we get out of this, Luke?”

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Andrew: “I don’t deserve Genevieve as a girlfriend. I’m gonna go out right there and say this, especially when it comes to these things”

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Andrew: “I mean, if you’re somebody who enjoys football, but doesn’t necessarily have a, any stake in either one of these teams, I apologize if you had to watch this; because, what a crappy half of foot–I mean, it was, it was a crappy game of football.”

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Andrew: “I think I’m a big wuss, I think just need to acknowledge that”

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Andrew: “I, I haven’t been to the zoo in forever”

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Andrew: “I’ll just have to take a bullet for the city; which, I’m glad, glad to do.”

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Andrew: “I’m a pain in the ass”

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Andrew: “I’m back, baby!”

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Andrew: “I’m gonna come in hot tomorrow”

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Andrew: “I’m gonna say two things that are polar opposite of each other; and, that’s why people shouldn’t listen to me.”

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Andrew: “I’m pretty sure I caught something from that G-D microphone at KIRO radio. You know those places are germ pools!”

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Andrew: “If you’re kind of thinking to yourself, ‘This is a good live show cuz Andrew’s not blowing his nose a lot,’ rethink that. Check that, check that attitude.”

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Andrew: “It was a weird weekend for me, Luke”

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Andrew: Laughing

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Andrew: “Let’s face it, Luke”

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Andrew: “Maybe sneak away, and do my dirty deed”

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Andrew: “N-no”

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Andrew: “Nice!”

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Andrew: “No, no, no, no, I mean, how do we get out of this episode?”

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Andrew: “Old friend, Andrew. Right.”

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Andrew: “Ooh, wow! Wow!”

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Andrew: Peter Griffin-like Laugh

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Andrew: Quickly saying a string of “No”s

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Andrew: Rudy barked while Andrew was saying “I was doing TBTL, then I was hopping over to KIRO radio. Whoa… you’re right. It’s not that good of a story”

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Andrew: Sheepish “No”

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Andrew: Singing “Now it’s time”

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Andrew: “Snooty-tooty”

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Andrew: “So, forget I said anything”

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Andrew: “Then I woke up Friday feeling like death again”

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Andrew: “Wait a second”

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Andrew: “We’re all haute, no taute”

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Andrew: “Whiz bang”

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Andrew: “Yeah, I know who sh–she kno–she–you know who you are. Umm…”

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Andrew: “Yeah, you know what Carson Wentz would be doing if he played for the Cleveland Browns right now? Counting the holes on the ceiling from a hospital bed. You know what I mean? Like… for real! Like, they wouldn’t have protected him. Dude would be injured right now.”

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Andrew and Luke: Andrew turned 40 on Sunday, November 27th

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Andrew and Luke: “Oh, I… Oh, that’s sweet! I like (Yeah) that story.”

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Andrew and Luke: “She’s a patsy, eh? A pigeon, a push over.. a real (I think she’s) soft touch. I think she’s named for Patsy Cline. Oh, okay. Never mind then.”

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Andrew and Luke: “Staying at home all the time and taking a vacation in my mind, because… I thought you were gonna say in your pants”

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Andrew and Luke: “You gotta, if I’ve learned one thing from ya, you gotta Burbank it sometimes. That’s right.”

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Audio Clips

Clips From TBTL #2259

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Andrew: “And also, you’re gonna want to clean the trunk”

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Andrew: “Fourth bussing! Bad? Good? Let’s talk about it!”

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Andrew: “Hmm”

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Andrew: “I, I, I sit with it”

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Andrew: “Look at his tattoos!”

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Andrew: “This is super interesting, I can already tell”

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Andrew: “Topic! Sentence! Go!”

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Andrew and Luke: Chopin’s body is buried in Poland, not Portland

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Andrew and Luke: Pronunciation of “Exhumation”

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Andrew and Luke: “You were the opposite of Biggie Smalls. That’s right. That’s right.”

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Luke: “Andrew ‘Digi’ Walsh”

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Luke: “Between the top of the show talk about… Exactly! Between you officially picking your funeral music song, and, and, and me talking about, you know, you know, the, the, my fear of fire versus fear of permanent entombment”

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Luke: “Happy… happy day after Thanksgiving!”

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Luke: “My ability to talk about my weight loss plans and your ability to regrets things that you said on other radio shows know almost no limit”

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Luke: “No”

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Luke: “Oh well, shit!”

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Luke: “We got there, America”

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Luke: “We’ll often start with a story about not jumping into things”

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Luke: “You know what’s funny about this crazy world of podcarting, Andrew”

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Luke and Andrew: Dr. Mountainstein’s Monster

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Luke and Andrew: “God, that reminds me of a great Kanye line. I know what you’re talking about, it’s not clean. No, it isn’t.”

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Luke and Andrew: “I sense a Google Doc conversation coming. (I, I…) Exactly! You’re getting, you’re getting good at, at seeing those coming down the road.”

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Luke and Andrew: Laughing

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Luke and Andrew: Luke wants to keep guessing and send the listeners into the weekend frustrated

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Luke and Andrew: “You’re more afraid of a confined space than you are of, of flames… flame’s (You’re doing that!?) sweet embrace. How did we do this!?”

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Audio Clips

Clips From TBTL #2258: Burbank Springs Edition

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Carey Burbank: “Burbanksgiving Champagne Cocktail”

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Carey Burbank: “This makes my family sound shitty”

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Carey Burbank and Genevieve Haas: “No mountain too tall. And, good luck to all.”

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Carey Burbank, Luke and Andrew: “I’m only laughing because you’re okay; and also, because I kept getting the image of, like, on a cartoon when you see the skeleton, like when you’ve been electrocuted. Like a, like a Scooby-Doo electrocution type of situation? Yes. It feels good to laugh.”

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Luke: “Anytime I’m eating, I’m, the crumbs are hitting the floor and that’s Rudy time”

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Luke: “Don’t blame me, I voted for the sand snakes”

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Luke: Giggling like the Pillsbury Doughboy

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Luke: Groaning

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Luke: “Hi there, everybody. Happy Thanksgiving! Welcome to the TBTL Thanksgiving Special 2016.”

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Luke: “I’m fucking terrified”

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Luke: “I’m gonna turn the fan up a little bit here, because, my bacon project is already going sideways; in that, I completely burned round one”

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Luke: “It’s a real theatre for the mind today”

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Luke: Laughing

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Luke: “Like, they’re fifty percent roll, fifty percent butter… one hundred percent bad decision making.”

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Luke: “Okay. So, we’re off to a hot start”

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Luke: Singing “Skillet. Skillets for breakfast. Skillets. Skillet”

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Luke: “The leader of the children. Look out, look out, look out, look out!”

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Luke: “There’s something about the outside of the turkey that’s good for the inside of man. I think that’s…”

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Luke: “Update from my life, I’m mincing garlic against my will over here…”

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Luke: “You know, it’s a holiday, I’m allowed to eat on the show. I just want to say that to everyone who’s mad. I did–I have declared that I’m gonna stop eating on the air.”

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Luke and Andrew: Carey had the hiccups and spilled some Burbanksgiving Cocktail while drinking some

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Luke and Andrew: “I would put olive hand as one of the top ten childhood experiences, right? I didn’t have it, you’ll be surprised to hear.”

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Luke and Andrew: “I’ve sorta gone a little off script. I’ve gone rogue. Oh, good.”

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Luke and Andrew: Luke may have hallucinated the Denny’s skillets advert

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Luke and Andrew: “The dog just sauntered through and almost dragged the entire operation down. Oh my God. We’re fine. Everything’s good.”

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Luke and Andrew: “Update from Burbank Springs: Project Bacon has now started activating the smoke alarm (Oh)”

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Luke and Carey Burbank: Luke’s moment of bliss is tucking away at loads of rolls and mashed potatoes

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Luke and Carey Burbank: “These are your people, this is who you come from. Now, you know how I ended up with you.”

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Luke, Carey Burbank and Andrew: “By the way, Carey is laughing her ass off at your misfortune, Andrew. I… have my back turned because… feel terrible… It’s okay.”

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Luke, Carey Burbank and Genevieve Haas: Decasing (or unmaking) a sausage is unsettling

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Audio Clips

Clips From TBTL #2258: Walsh, Walsh & Doormat Edition

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Andrew: “Alright, I’m a baker”

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Andrew: “And, that was my first lesson as a baker”

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Andrew: “And, they were delicious”

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Andrew: Andrew kicked something while moving around and talking

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Andrew: “Come on, guys. I mean, not to start off on such a negative foot; but, I just think we need to be a little bit more socially conscious.”

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Andrew: Got electrocuted while turning on the oven

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Andrew: “Hey, now we’re in Andrew territory, if we’re gonna be talking about cleaning these things”

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Andrew: “Ho, my gosh! That gave me a… well… that gave me a start. Holy crap!”

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Andrew: “I literally, I’m not joking, I just got electrocuted trying to turn on the oven”

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Andrew: “It’s called, ‘the Internet Andrew of Things'”

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Andrew: Laughing

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Andrew: Laughing #2

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Andrew: “Maybe, this is an inappropriate question for broadcast; so, we can cut it out if you want”

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Andrew: “Now, I’m scared to bake!”

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Andrew: “Oh, look. This… Luke brought his insecurities again.”

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Andrew: “Rudy!”

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Andrew: Singing “Leave me alone, please go away, I’m doing fine, just get away”

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Andrew: “So, um… seriously guys? Blood oranges… on Thanksgiving?”

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Andrew: “That’s the power of ipDTL right there: Keeping people apart for two years.”

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Andrew: “Wax on, wax off”

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Andrew: “You saved Thanksgiving, I almost ruined it.”

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Andrew and Carey Burbank: “Hey! You can just let go and let, let Andrew. Yeah. Yeah, absolutely.”

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Andrew and Carey Burbank: “Wow. (Yeah) Well, it’s perfect. You guys are perfect for each other then.”

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Andrew and Luke: “Luke Burbank, the First, leader of the children. The leader of the children. Look out, look out, look out, look out!”

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Andrew and Luke: “Oh, that’s, that’s the sound of chocolate chips, by the way… (Ooh!) if you’re salivating.”

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Andrew and Luke: “Skillet. Skillets for breakfast. (Skillet) I don’t think that’s how the song goes. Skillets for breakfast.”

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Andrew and Luke: “Yeah, I got nothing. Let’s wrap this up… (I’m back) Good luck to all!”

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Andrew, Luke, Genevieve Haas and Carey Burbank: Andrew got electrocuted when he tried to turn on the oven

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Andrew, Genevieve Haas and Carey Burbank: “Wait, I already made a mistake. What did I do wrong? You need to pack, pack it into the cup. Do you think that’s enough? Oh, shit! (No, no…)”

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Andrew, Genevieve Haas and Luke: Stuffing vs Dressing

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Genevieve Haas: “I feel like I’m cooking with Mr. Bean in here”

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Genevieve Haas: “It’s very Martha Stewart in here”

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Genevieve Haas: “This is a weird bit; but, you know, I don’t really listen to the shows, so…”

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Genevieve Haas and Luke: Baking and TBTL are more chemistry than artistry”

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Genevieve Haas and Luke: “The call is coming from inside the oven. Can you… Possible show title”

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Audio Clips

Clips From TBTL #2257

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Andrew: “Booger archive”

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Andrew: “End of story”

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Andrew: Laughing

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Andrew: Laughing #2

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Andrew: Laughing and saying “Oh, no”

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Andrew: Laughing in the background

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Andrew: “New, fresh, hot from the oven”

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Andrew: “Oh, God!”

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Andrew: “Psych!”

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Andrew: “Really?”

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Andrew: Singing “Just the three of us”

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Andrew: “TBTL is glue machines”

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Andrew: “There aren’t enough fake turkey gobbles in the world to wash that from my brain!”

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Andrew: “This is special!”

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Andrew: “What’s the advantage?”

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Andrew: “You know we’re gonna get fired, right?”

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Andrew: “You’re the cleanup man. You’re the wolf. You’re the Harvey Keitel.”

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Andrew and Luke: “Hey m– Okay, I’m better. Hi, Luke. (Turkey got your throat?) I had a little something in my throat.”

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Andrew and Luke: “I wear… flip-fops. I don’t go… bareback into those things; but, still… I thought you had gotten the nose up on that being kind of a weird, borderline, sexual reference; and, then, you just got the nose back down.”

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Andrew and Luke: “That’s why they call me Digi. Nobody calls you Digi. And, if they did, that’s not why.”

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Andrew and Luke: The Expanded Burbank Thanksgiving Universe

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Andrew and Luke: “These, these so-called people that you’re talking about, they’re not… These alleged humans”

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Andrew and Luke: “You like sparkling cider? I don’t, but the little kids like to pretend that they’re drunk.”

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Luke: “Amtrak: We Let You Bring Your Shampoo”

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Luke: “And occasionally, we have our day brightened by the people who suppose this show. We’d like to thank our Gobble-gobble, Zapp and Roger, Computer Love, level donors of the day”

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Luke: “And the name of the text chain is, ‘Gobble Gobble'”

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Luke: “Andrew ‘Digi’ Walsh”

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Luke: “Asking for trouble there, Shkreli”

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Luke: “But, Andrew”

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Luke: “Guuaahh!!! Andrew!”

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Luke: “Hello!”

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Luke: “I don’t know, Andrew, what’s going on!”

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Luke: Imitating the Instant Gobble sound

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Luke: Laughing

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Luke: “LOL”

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Luke: “My dad’s losing his damn mind, over here”

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Luke: “Oh, I see!”

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Luke: “Pyschs-giving!”

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Luke: “Really?”

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Luke: “Relax and chill, dudes”

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Luke: “Relax… and chill, dudes”

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Luke: Singing “Just hold on, I’m coming home”

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Luke: “Then my mom, ‘Luke hates Costco (double exclamation point)'”

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Luke: “Things have gone completely off the rails”

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Luke: “Where have you been, Daddy-O?”

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Luke: “You know what? Relax and chill, everybody; as a wise man, Walter Burbank, once said in a text message chain.”

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Luke and Andrew: Burbank family obsession with Costco

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Luke and Andrew: “Have you ever taken an ice bath…? No, I haven’t. It looks horrible!”

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Luke and Andrew: “I respond to my mom, ‘Mom, (all caps) I will get it’ (Uh-oh)”

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Luke and Andrew: “I’m not gonna make it out of this metal whirlpool. I gotta drain the main vein in here, you know I’m saying? (Oh-hohohohohoho) You don’t buy the beer, Andrew, you just rent it. I like the way you talk.”

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Luke and Andrew: Luke had to demonstrate for his previous dog, Momo

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Luke and Andrew: Luke will sometimes pee in the backyard at Burbank Springs

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Luke and Andrew: “Your emotions got away from you, as per usual. My emotions, as per usual, got away from me”

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