Audio Clips

Clips From TBTL #2284: The Burbank Family Edition

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Things are gonna start happening to us now

Listener Nick Armes left a voicemail in response to Luke’s attempt at doing an impression of Chewbacca on the previous show. Nick showed off his impressive Chewbacca impression.

Listener Nick: Doing a Chewbacca impression

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Carey Burbank and Luke: Carey doesn’t like being on TBTL because something she says comes out wrong or Luke cuts her off, and then Luke cuts her off

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Carey Burbank, Andrew and Luke: “Whenever I put myself on the show, I want to curl up in a ball and die, because I sound like such an idiot. (Oh my God!) … my love, you do not sound like an idiot.”

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David Burbank: “Punch it Chewie!”

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David Burbank and Luke: “Punch it Chewie! Damn, she really punched it, it actually got, kind of scaring me”

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Luke: “Are you kidding me!?”

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Luke: “Blame Associate Producer Linh Pham. Also, possible show title, by the way.”

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Luke: “By the way, I want to say thanks to our Super Pham, Linh Pham, who excerpted this and sent it along”

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Luke: Chuckling

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Luke: Doing a Chewbacca impression

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Luke: Doing a Chewbacca impression #2

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Luke: “Don’t taser me, bro”

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Luke: “Hello. I’m Luke, the solo host of the program”

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Luke: “Hey there, everybody! Welcome to a Friday morning edition of TBTL, the show that just might be Too Beautiful To Live. Coming to you today from the backseat of a loaner car from the local Audi dealership.”

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Luke: “How… dare you”

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Luke: “I absolutely did not think this through”

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Luke: “I shushed her with my eyes, mostly, in the rearview mirror”

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Luke: “I think Andrew said, ‘Shut your face,’ or something”

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Luke: “I’m-a really, really failing on the, the grammar today, Walsh”

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Luke: Laughing

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Luke: Laughing #2

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Luke: “Let me just ask them, quickly, if this is, if this is weird for them as it is for me now”

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Luke: “O-dark thirty”

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Luke: “Oh, my God, yeah! Please do!”

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Luke: Saying “Everybody go to the Peach Bowl!” as Rodney Dangerfield

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Luke: Saying “Everybody, dance!” as Rodney Dangerfield

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Luke: “She said yes, Andrew.”

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Luke: Singing “Just about coffee drinking time. Just about coffee drinking time!”

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Luke: “That’s what APM is paying us in now, the petty jealousy of people who are more famous than us”

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Luke: “The fact that you wanted to break back in to say that, is the most TBTL thing of all time”

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Luke: “There’s definitely… a point where Rodney Dangerfield is gonna go, ‘Everybody, dance!’ And then…”

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Luke: “Things are gonna start happening to us now”

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Luke and Andrew: “Long story short, Andrew, he can’t believe this is what I do for my job. Yeah, no, nobody can.”

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Luke and Andrew: “See, let me explain the technical side of this. Oh, good! Because we’re in the car… Yeah. I just said, I want to make it boring for the listeners, and I followed up with a statement, ‘Let me explain the technical side of this'”

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Luke and Andrew: “This is basically like a private shame for you and I. Right.”

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Luke and Andrew: “You’re gonna have to be strong for both of us, cuz I’m kind of, I’m already weirded out by where I’m recording the show. I’m podcasting for two today, Luke. That’s right. That’s not my way of announcing anything, though.”

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Audio Clips

Clips From TBTL #2284: Andrew Walsh Edition

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Andrew: “After our big Hayes bump”

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Andrew: “Alexa, stand by”

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Andrew: “Are you just gonna shush him with your eyes, as you… in your famous Burbank move”

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Andrew: “Being shushed… is, that’s a tough pill to swallow”

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Andrew: “He just wasn’t, he just wasn’t quick enough on the draw of appreciating Luke”

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Andrew: “Hello, all you new listeners. I’m sorry that this is what the show sounds like.”

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Andrew: “I can’t believe that you’ve put yourself in a situation that you’re in”

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Andrew: “I have, I, I have ten fingers, I wouldn’t want to cut any of them off”

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Andrew: “Is it ‘One English Summer’ by Donovan?”

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Andrew: “Is that not the most TB–T–that’s like the most TBTL sports shit talk you could possibly ask for, and I love it.”

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Andrew: “It’s another Rodney Dangerfield-esque situation!”

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Andrew: Laughing

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Andrew: Laughing #2

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Andrew: Laughing #3

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Andrew: Laughing #4

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Andrew: Laughing and saying “Right”

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Andrew: Laughing while Luke is talking

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Andrew: “Mad is a strong word”

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Andrew: “Maybe it’s like Schrödin–Schrödinger’s Hayes, or something like that”

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Andrew: “Oh, God!”

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Andrew: “Okay, that’s a, a hell of a build-up”

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Andrew: Saying “The Underdog by Spoon” with an exaggerated “Dog”

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Andrew: “Stand by!”

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Andrew: “That’s the, the ‘Ga Ga Ga Ga’ album, or whatever”

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Andrew: “You son of a!”

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Andrew: “You’re listening to Fresh Ears, I’m Dave Davies?”

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Andrew and Luke: Andrew speculating what would spill out of Luke’s head if it were bonked by a coconut

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Andrew and Luke: “Oh, man! Are you in hyperspeed, or hyperdrive, or… (Yeah) Oh, if I keep saying things, I’m gonna make Nick madder. Never mind.”

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Andrew and Luke: “That sickens me. Easy, Shatner.”

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Andrew and Luke: “Uh, because you just were thinking about some of my jokes and you wanted to laugh again? No, you’re wrong, Andrew. Let me correct you on that. You son of a!”

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Andrew, Luke, Carey Burbank, David Burbank and Sam Burbank: “No mountain too tall, and good luck to all”

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Audio Clips

Clips From TBTL #2283: Luke Burbank Edition

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Luke: “Alexa, give TBTL five stars on iTunes. Hey, Siri, can you give TBTL five stars on iTunes?”

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Luke: “BTDubs!”

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Luke: “Can I just make one last argument for the Avis Wizard number and the attended white pride that comes with it?”

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Luke: Chuckling

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Luke: “Hey Clapper, what’s he say in Home Alone 2?”

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Luke: “Hey, wha happen?”

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Luke: High-pitched “Oh!”

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Luke: “I don’t even know!”

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Luke: “I dunno”

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Luke: “I guess that’s a hot start for today’s show”

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Luke: “I need to go with the inverted pyramid and, then, also the ‘Five Ws and an H’: Why, why, why, why, why, how.”

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Luke: “I’m losing my mind!”

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Luke: “Klaatu barado [sic] nikto”

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Luke: Laughing

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Luke: Laughing #2

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Luke: “Oh, man. The power of this podcart.”

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Luke: Quiet “What!?”

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Luke: Singing “Going my way”

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Luke: Singing the jingle for Super Golden Crisp cereal

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Luke: “Sir, are you a member of our St. Lunatics club? That was a decent spoof.”

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Luke: “That’s ‘It’s a Wonderful Life’ style. Don’t you understand? I was not selling. He’s buying!”

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Luke: “That’s classic Steve Nelson”

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Luke: “Why, why, why, why, why, how”

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Luke: “You broke out a sir?”

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Luke and Andrew: “Aw shit, we just activated a bunch of… robots. Hold on, hold on. Klaatu barado [sic] nikto. What is that?”

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Luke and Andrew: “Do it again, and I’m gone! Sheesh. Carl’s World.”

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Luke and Andrew: Having too much fun doing “Hey Alexa” commands after reading an angry e-mail from Carl

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Luke and Andrew: “How about, ‘Say Cheese’? Okay, you pick whatever you want, but you gotta welcome me into the cheese shop (Okay)”

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Luke and Andrew: “I’m a planner, Andrew. (I know) I mean, you know that, knowing me. If any of these things ever, if you ever need any of these things, you will live the most exciting life ever.”

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Luke and Andrew: “Like creamier than a Gouda, but (Eww, seriously…) not quite… Please, stop. You’re making me ill. And, scene.”

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Luke and Andrew: “Oh, give me a break! Give me a brark!”

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Luke and Andrew: “Paula Poundstone and I got in an Uber in Chicago (Say no more)”

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Luke and Andrew: “You just leave after I start the music, okay? I gotta play the ‘Power out!’ Okay. We have one job!”

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Luke and Andrew: “You’re impossible not to like. Okay. I mean that. I’ve tried… very hard.”

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Audio Clips

Clips From TBTL #2283: Andrew Walsh Edition

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Steve Neuman left a voicemail message for Luke and Andrew to sharp-shoot a couple of items from the previous show(s).

Steve Neuman, Andrew and Luke: Voicemail Message

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Andrew: “But the… Internet! Like it says it right here! I’m pulling out my phone, like these people give a shit.”

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Andrew: “But, that, that’s such a Burbank thing, though”

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Andrew: “Can I tell you an experience I had with Uber? I assume the answer to that question is, ‘Yes, we have a podcast to do and it’s all about storytelling’.”

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Andrew: Chuckling

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Andrew: Chuckling #2

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Andrew: “Clapper, give TBTL a good review on iTunes”

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Andrew: “Crème de la Scream”

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Andrew: “Ewww”

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Andrew: “Good interviewing means you always ask one question at a time; because, otherwise, the interviewee, me in this case, can decide to take the questions any direction he chooses.”

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Andrew: “Google this, Google that”

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Andrew: “Hi, welcome to ‘Better Cheddar’. How can I help you?”

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Andrew: “I dunno. I’m bit more moderate on turtles these days. Used to love them, used to like them, then I loved them; now, I’m kind of like, eh, I can go either way.”

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Andrew: “I know!”

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Andrew: “I liked Hoyer”

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Andrew: “I’m just asking for a favor! I’m asking for you to do something nice, just cancel the ride!”

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Andrew: “It’s a little bit not under profile”

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Andrew: Laughing

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Andrew: Laughing #2

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Andrew: Laughing #3

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Andrew: Laughing #4

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Andrew: Laughing #5

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Andrew: Making bird cooing sounds

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Andrew: “Now would be the time to say you’re sorry!”

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Andrew: “Please don’t pick me up. Please don’t pick me up!”

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Andrew: “Product Nineteen, it’s delicious. Product Nineteen, it’s delicious.”

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Andrew: Re-telling of this latest rental car counter experience

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Andrew: “Really!”

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Andrew: “She’s gonna get the Yelp review of a lifetime!”

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Andrew: “So, Kevin McCallister kinds of chops and screws that in the kitchen, as he is trying to negotiate, you know, getting the pizza.”

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Andrew: “Trump won the election and then I didn’t care anything anymore. That’s the truth.”

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Andrew: “Turns out, your strategy, all along, was to soil yourself.”

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Andrew: “Wait ’til you hear this BS!”

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Andrew: “Well, I’m not gonna pick you up! If I pick you up now, you’re gonna give me zero stars!”

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Andrew: “Well, you’re getting the Yelp review of a lifetime!”

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Andrew: “Wha happened?”

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Andrew: “What is that?”

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Andrew: “What the hell did I do wrong?!”

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Andrew: “What’s a TBTL?”

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Andrew: “Whoa, what did you do!?!”

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Andrew and Luke: Andrew now associates the word “wizard” with the KKK

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Andrew and Luke: “Charles’s gonna e-mail us back, ‘Every time you did that, my light went off! Because I live in 1987.'”

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Andrew and Luke: “Clap On! Clap On! Clap Off! Now, people’s (The Clapper) lights, people’s lights are going on and off”

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Andrew and Luke: “Hey, don’t praise the machine. What about those clowns in Congress? This is about job security. Suddenly, that, that Simpsons joke is not so funny anymore.”

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Andrew and Luke: Making the “It’s a Trap Queen” joke at the same time

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Andrew and Luke: “There’s still good meat on that flauta? Bro?”

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Audio Clips

Chris Hayes Mentions TBTL in an All In Segment About Podcasts

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On the All In with Chris Hayes that aired on December 29, 2016, Chris Hayes and his panel were chatting about various trends and topics from 2016. The last segment was about podcasts and Chris Hayes mentions TBTL and that it’s his favorite podcast. Below is the segment in its entirely and the TBTL mention starts just about the 23.4 second mark.

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Audio Clips

Clips From TBTL #2282: Luke Burbank Edition

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Luke: “Alexa, is that a dangerous precedent to set?”

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Luke: “Alexa, put drone talk on the list for tomorrow”

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Luke: “Alexa, who published ‘The Confederacy of Dunces’?”

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Luke: Attempting to do a Wookie sound

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Luke: “Case cloched”

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Luke: Chuckling

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Luke: “How dare you!”

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Luke: “I don’t think there’s any other accurate way to describe what a big deal… this is”

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Luke: “I have no plans to murder anyone, by the way”

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Luke: “I know my woife is not a fan”

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Luke: “It’s a good kind of pain”

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Luke: “It’s just a floating can full of… you know… buffet food and barely watchable theatrical production”

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Luke: Laughing

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Luke: Laughing #2

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Luke: “No, really bad!”

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Luke: “One, the thought crossed my mind, ‘Is Andrew gonna feel upstaged?'”

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Luke: Playing with his squirrel lure

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Luke: Playing with his squirrel lure #2

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Luke: “Pod-dog is a little fragrant today”

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Luke: “Siri, if you want to read all of my messages with Alexa, you can… ‘I already did'”

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Luke: The Brown Note

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Luke: “The throat crud of reality”

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Luke: “There’s some good meat on that flau–Alexis, [sic] is that still good meat on that flauta?”

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Luke: “What’s that from?”

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Luke: “What’s up, Rude-dude?”

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Luke: “You know, I, for about twenty seconds there, thought I might be a good podcast broadcaster; and then, the throat crud of reality brought me crashing right back down to Earth”

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Luke: “You… you… so-and-sos”

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Luke: “You… you… so-and-sos, how dare you pretend that the intro to the show and my musings about Pod-dog and the Bay Kitty are not the real show. How dare you!”

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Luke and Andrew: “Alexa, what are Carey’s thoughts on, on an Amazon Echo? You should ask her.”

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Luke and Andrew: Andrew stopping Luke if Luke is boring Andrew would set a dangerous precedent for TBTL

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Luke and Andrew: “I had a hot take, but nowhere to sizzle it. Ooh”

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Luke and Andrew: “I just recently got into a whole situation with Siri. Oh, no. Did you fall in love? What?”

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Luke and Andrew: “It’s a classic… WAPAAZTN. It is WAPAAZTN. Exactly.”

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Luke and Andrew: Luke explaining the feeling he had when Siri didn’t respond to him

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Luke and Andrew: “You know, I wondered… Can we get realler than real (Oh, no! I, no…) on the top of the show? No, no! I was just joking!”

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