Tag: Luke Burbank

Luke: “All I have to do this afternoon is… record… one hour of imaginary radio… go for jog; and then, read two hundred more pages of a Salman Rushdie book… and, also write my monologue and write all the questions… and iron my suit… and, also, lint roll it; cuz, it’s pretty jacked up, I’ll be honest with you.”

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Luke: “Ding-dang Portland, Oregon”

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Luke: “Do you know what the White Chapel fatberg is?”

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Luke: “Don’t be a sketch-ball in the woods”

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Luke: “Hello, my Tayne”

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Luke: “I don’t wanna discombobulate and recombobulate”

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Luke: “I got your Dayton Peace Accord… right ‘ere!”

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Luke: “I spent like… thirty minutes last night… Tetris-ing this shit in there”

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Luke: “I… podcast more than anyone!”

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Luke: “It’s like Drogon the Dragon… farted on it”

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Luke: Laughing

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Luke: Making monkey sounds

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Luke: Preemptively apologizing and giving a trigger warning for the White Chapel fatberg talk

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Luke: Saying “Ehlo” in a British accent

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Luke: Saying “Hüsker Dü” in an exaggerated manner

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Luke: Singing “Closing Time”

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Luke: Singing “I ain’t much on bossa nova… me and Romeo ain’t never been friends”

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Luke: “Sorry, London… we done!”

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Luke: “That wasn’t a CD. That was my voice. All those sounds were coming from my bo-ody.”

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Luke: “That’s weird brag, but okay”

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Luke: “This is just… specific… for my friend Andy”

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Luke: “This is the last deet I’ll disgust you with”

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Luke: “Thwack”

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Luke: “Where did you get that drop from?”

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Luke: “Yah!”

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Luke: “You… hate my audio levels. You hate them.”

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Luke and Andrew: “How does this sounds to you now? (That sounds great, thank you) The right amount of bossa nova? Yes; but, it’s not the right amount of Boz. Boza nova! Boza nova!”

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Luke and Andrew: “I is afraid of that ghost. Yeah.”

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Luke and Andrew: “I mean, you sweat pee, don’t you? Isn’t that what you do? They sweat pee in heaven, don’t they? Wait, what?”

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Luke and Andrew: “It whelmed me, bro. (Oh, no!) I’m extremely whelmed by it.”

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Luke and Andrew: “Listen, Andrew. As we established yesterday… this is just about you and me. Right!”

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Luke and Andrew: “They’re, they’re like the m-monkeys in 2001: A Space Odyssey… Oddity. (Mmm-hmm) Odyssey.”

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Andrew: “Did you say, did you say ‘Ehlo’ or ‘Heelo’? [ph]“

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Andrew: Doing his version of the “Top Story” drop

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Andrew: Groaning Laugh

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Andrew: “I have a hot dog story for ya”

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Andrew: “I have a sad story”

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Andrew: “I might not be on my game today, Luke. I don’t know. Boy, good thing nobody else noticed.”

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Andrew: “I think that was… God in the machine, right there”

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Andrew: “Just keep on catching blue gill and put them in a bucket; but, now, I think about that bucket, and I’m like, ‘Well, that must’ve been awful for those fish'”

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Andrew: Laughing

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Andrew: Laughing #2

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Andrew: “Oh, that’s what you wanted to know”

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Andrew:Saying “Did you say ”ello’?” in a British accent

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Andrew: Saying “Some numbers are missing… by today’s standards” in response to a seven-digit phone number in a radio clip

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Andrew: “Speaking of things the listeners probably aren’t interested in”

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Andrew: “The famed Maris Talks of 2017?”

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Andrew: “Uhh, that’s worse!!”

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Andrew: “Was that a thing?”

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Andrew: “We noticed that the grass was dead. We thought it was just cuz of our… burning hot love… for each other. Emotional love! Don’t be gross. Don’t be a sketch-ball in the podcast either.”

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Andrew: “What!!?”

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Andrew: “What are you spoofing on?”

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Andrew: “Wow!”

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Andrew and Luke: “I’m learning a lot about how the human body works; and, it is true, the sweat glands are… directly connected, directly connected you the bladder. And, that’s how it works. Well, mine is broken then”

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Andrew and Luke: “Where was that dark memory hiding all this time? Underneath all the happiness! Under… all the unmitigated joy! Yeah, exactly. Under all the gambling and alcohol abuse!”

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Andrew: “And next to it is, just like, the most… stereotypical, 2017 hipster-y, hipster girl”

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Andrew: “Arrrrrrr!”

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Andrew: “But, which is the other Shannon?”

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Andrew: Clapping, Playing “(I Had) The Time of My Life” and a clip of Sergio Dipp

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Andrew: “Do I have enough Supertramp?”

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Andrew: “Except for me now. Now, I’m the ass.”

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Andrew: “I am jealous of everybody’s rumpus rooms”

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Andrew: “I don’t like these bodegas, matey!”

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Andrew: “I expect Dream Andrew and Dream Luke to be a little bit better to Dream Shannon”

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Andrew: “I feel pretty shitty about this”

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Andrew: “I just don’t believe saving the buggy whips for the sake of saving the buggy whips”

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Andrew: “I’m gonna use the word, ‘optics’. Trigger warning, everybody. I’m gonna say ‘optics,’ probably a lot, during this conversation.”

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Andrew: “It was BYOD… Bring Your Own Donation”

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Andrew: “It’s a real dreamy episode of TBTL today”

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Andrew: “Like, I love you, Luke; but, please don’t send me an emoji of your face, okay?”

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Andrew: “Luke… I’m gonna break the fourth wall here for a second”

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Andrew: “Oh, God, that’s gross!”

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Andrew: “That’s not how, that’s not how food works”

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Andrew: “Turns out, Chevy makes all kinds of super-ugly cars!”

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Andrew: “Why do you say that?”

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Andrew: “Woohoo!”

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Andrew: “Yeah, it’s Wolfgang Punk [sic]“

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Andrew: “Yesterday, I was watching an episode of Monk with… Genevieve; and, something happened, that happens… from time to time, as you’d imagine when I watch Monk. Which is, I have a very Monk-y reaction to something.”

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Andrew and Luke: “I did not do that, though. I did not do that! I did not steal the nuts! I did (I did not) steal a cup of coffee once.”

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Luke: “Although, I guess, there are a few other people listening”

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Luke: “And, it just feels so different when… you lived… in… Manha-many… [ph] Minnesota. That’s not even a place! Why did I pick the weirdest theoretical place?”

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Luke: “Blackbeard the Turnip Murderer?”

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Luke: “Boom. Roasted.”

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Luke: “Conk, conk!!”

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Luke: “I didn’t want to be fired from KIRO for stealing cashews. I wanted to be fired from KIRO for low ratings. And, and, I probably would have; but, I quit before they could do it.”

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Luke: “I, I shall deliver to you… one Fargield, my good man”

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Luke: “I’m having the time… of my life here at episode two-thousand four-hundred… and sixty-seven in a collective… Collective series!? Yes… we’re t-taking the show in a very collectivist… direction. Just FYI, everybody.”

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Luke: “It was… BYOS: Bring Your Own Show”

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Luke: “More glass seems like mo’ problems for me”

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Luke: “Okay, Burbank, you’ve waited long enough. Treat yourself with the iPhone X.”

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Luke: “Okay. Let’s… let’s do a scan, body. Let’s check all of the quadrants.”

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Luke: “Ooh, my face”

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Luke: Quietly asking “What is wrong with me?”

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Luke: “Santa emoji, poop emoji… dancing emoji. Thumbs up emoji. Thumbs to the middle emoji.” ??????

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Luke: Saying “Aye… Ye are taking my turnip business… because, you’ve… got all this stuff in that one little, small, convenient location” in a pirate farmer’s accent

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Luke: “That was the most stoner thing you’ve ever said”

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Luke: “That’s so beautiful, Andrew”

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Luke: “Update on the Pod-pets, they’re doing great”

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Luke: “Violence is never the answer”

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Luke: “We’ll… we’ll dip into that. We’ll Sergio Dipp into that later.”

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Luke and Andrew: “Save that for the Halloween show, bub. Yeah, right!”

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A, yet to be identified, listener left a voicemail for Luke and Andrew in which she sang a song about “Jalapeña”, which was played at the very beginning of the show.

Listener: Jalapeña Song

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Andrew: “‘ASAP’ is a trigger word for me via e-mail”

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Andrew: Curious Sound

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Andrew: “Football! Boop, boop, boop”

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Andrew: “I concur. It was a Concur joke!”

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Andrew: “I got a lot of bees under my bonnet”

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Andrew: “I licked my chops like a cartoon wolf”

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Andrew: “I lost you somewhere in this spoof. I’m lost in a spoof. Is that a song by Tayler Dayne?”

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Andrew: “I was gonna ask you that too. Other than, ‘Did you poop?’ I was gonna ask you, did you cry?”

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Andrew: “I was… gonna do a little… experiment with you today”

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Andrew: “I’m lost in a spoof”

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Andrew: Saying “Boop, boop, boop” in a deep voice

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Andrew: Saying “Dip, dip, dip” in a deep voice

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Andrew: Saying “I know!” in a funny manner

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Andrew: Singing “Chrome River”

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Andrew: “This might sound weird”

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Andrew: “You gotta stick through the poo!”

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Andrew: “You know I love me some humor in uniform!”

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Luke: “By the way… more on why I, I think my life doesn’t have any meaning in a moment”

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Luke: “C-O-B-O-O-B”

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Luke: “I feel like that would be a super-group: Matisyahu Mouse”

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Luke: “If this was No Point Conversion, I would tell you exactly why he’s not a coach… anymore. And, it’s not; but, I will.”

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Luke: “In retrospect, it’s… kind of cornball”

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Luke: “It’s also why… I hate the rapper A$AP Rocky. I just feel like he needs… to… I’ll get to you when as I can, Rocky!”

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Luke: “Long story longer, and with less of a power out”

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Luke: Making a funny, high pitched sound

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Luke: “Oh my goodness! Well, there goes my theory.”

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Luke: “Oh! And, by the way… today… is the… day that Apple announced the new iPhone!”

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Luke: Saying “I did not” in a funny manner

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Luke: Saying “This is where I took Geology” as Troy McClure

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Luke: Saying “This is where it all started” in a gruff voice

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Luke: “That is life changing!”

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Luke: Thinking mouth sounds

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Luke: “This is the most… I mean, we are inside an episode of Dilbert… right now”

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Luke: “We are gonna get… jalapeño business… today, as we do in the… Sorry about that. Just had to get out of my system.”

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Luke: “We’ve never been more Biz Dev. We’ve never been more UX… then we are today”

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Luke: “What’s in your wallet?”

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Luke: “You know… I’m, I’m, I’m excited about this; but, I do feel like… I think I may have turned you; and, I may have created a monster.”

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Luke and Andrew: “Alright, we got about five minutes for this, bruh. Alright. Can I use all five? Can I use three of them? Yep. (Actually, three and a half) I’ll allow it.”

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Luke and Andrew: “Keith Stone of Libertyville, Illinois. Wow. Please… (Hold my stones) Keith Stone is not a real person.”

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Luke and Andrew: “Look what you made me spoof. Look what you made me spoof. (Okay, I’m writing…) Look what you just, look what you just… (Sorry, Dippin’ Don’ts)”

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Luke and Andrew: “Well, that person just shit their brains out. Right”

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Luke and Andrew: “When you, when you go low, you also go high (Yeah)”

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Note: Clips from the “No Point Conversion” portion of the show will be posted separately at a later time.

 

Andrew: “But, I also have mad FOMO. And, like, here I am!”

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Andrew: “But, the beauty of being a fill-in is, I don’t give a crap if it’s like… how… I hate to say it, I hope they’re not listening, how on mission it is”

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Andrew: “But, yeah. For TBTL… Yeah.”

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Andrew: “Can you tell I’ve been… at KIRO radio all day? I’m full of hot takes.”

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Andrew: “Dream achieved!”

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Andrew: “I don’t know what I was gonna say. I got real bumbly there at the end.”

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Andrew: “I just gotta be me, Luke!”

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Andrew: “I think we’re both a little bit… wrong, we’re both a little bit right”

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Andrew: “I’m full of hot takes.”

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Andrew: “It’s fine”

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Andrew: “Let’s face it… I’m good at using a million words when two will do”

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Andrew: “Let’s just do it. Let’s do it. What… what do you wanna talk about?”

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Andrew: “New Hampshire!?”

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Andrew: “Nothing worse than a dummy who thinks they’re smart and blowing our minds, man.”

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Andrew: “Oh, God! Every time I almost come around on him”

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Andrew: “That kind of flexing of celebrity BS to people you look down on because they’re part of the celebrity… machine that you… profit off of disgusts me. Can you tell I’ve been… at KIRO radio all day? I’m full of hot takes.”

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Andrew: “You know what? I’m gonna blow their minds when I get to the dormitory.”

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Andrew: ???

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Andrew and Luke: Andrew jokingly says that there isn’t anyone going through all the shows, pulling clips and archiving them and Luke plays the Marsupial Gurgle sound

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Andrew and Luke: “But… I… I don’t believe you. I believe that you (Really) believe that”

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Andrew and Luke: “Hey, hold on a second. So, this isn’t, this is not… going out over the air? Is this a taped thing that we’re gonna put on the air later? My publicist (Yeah, yeah) said this was a… this was legit. (Yeah, well…)”

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Andrew and Luke: “I have no idea, man. Okay. It’s almost like I should’ve prepped for this.”

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Luke: “Cuz, if you fire me, I turn into a turnip; and, you can’t get blood from me!”

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Luke: “Get me Michael Bay on line two!”

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Luke: “I guess it hasn’t been that long”

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Luke: “Isn’t this nice?”

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Luke: Saying “Luke… we must have you here at All Things Considered” in a British accent

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Luke: Saying “Pretty… pretty… pretty” in a funny, drawn out manner

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Luke: “Speaking of… I have too many jobs”

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Luke: “The wheels on a bus go ’round and ’round”

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Luke: “We don’t know how much longer this should go on… Let’s burn this motherfucker to the ground.”

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Luke: “You know, part of me was like… ‘Really, cat? Like, why would you… Why do you climb up onto something you can’t get down from?'”

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Luke and Andrew: “Charles Rose… of Lynnwood, Washington. Are you kidding me!? Charlie Rose… listens to this show; and, he lives in Lynnwood? And he, and he supports the show. That’s great… He just got done interviewing Steve Bannon; then, he (Yes) re-upped his membership. And then, he… I guess, went back to drinking.”

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Luke and Andrew: “Do you have one… Yep, that’s all I have. I have one (Perfect) wiki. That’s (Perfect) literally all I have.”

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Luke and Andrew: Luke asking if Andrew recognizes the song and Andrew starts doot-dooing to it

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Luke and Andrew: “Power in! Power in.”

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Luke and Andrew: “You legit sound good co-hosting a talk radio show. Thanks! I dunno know… You might take that as an insult!”

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