Tag: Stu-bot

Audio Clips

Clips From TBTL #2386

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Andrew: “Because, I can’t like just deputize myself. You know what happened when I tried deputizing myself, I left a… This is a whole drama. I left a note on my neighbor’s car”

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Andrew: “Cuz Luke… controls the butthole flap”

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Andrew: “Cuz Luke… controls the butthole flap drop”

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Andrew: “Damn, I wish I had a hot mic today!!”

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Andrew: “Guys being guys!”

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Andrew: “Happy World Turtle Day, everybody”

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Andrew: “Hey, Fletch”

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Andrew: “I am the stupidest, luckiest person in the world, I’m not joking”

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Andrew: “I said no monkey business; and, now, I’m like knee deep in monkey business right here”

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Andrew: “No monkey business”

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Andrew: “Oh, shit!”

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Andrew: Pounding the Table

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Andrew: “Really!?”

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Andrew: Sheepish “Oh, that’s right”

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Andrew: “What was the damage to your bo-ody?”

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Andrew and Phyllis Fletcher: Editors just cut, cut, cut reporter’s stories and ruin everything

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Andrew and Phyllis Fletcher: “Fall River’s motto is, ‘We’ll Try’. And, they are not meeting their own expectations. Oh, dear!”

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Andrew and Phyllis Fletcher: “Stop cutting the circles! (Yes!) Do it right, guys! (Yes, of course)”

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Andrew and Phyllis Fletcher: “Today, Twitter is just abuzz with the fact that it’s World Turtle Day (Really!!?)”

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Andrew and Steve Scher: Laughing

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Phyllis Fletcher: “#NotAllCars”

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Phyllis Fletcher: “Ha-ha!”

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Phyllis Fletcher: Laughing

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Phyllis Fletcher: “Married, sucka!”

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Phyllis Fletcher: “Oh my God!!! What!!!?”

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Phyllis Fletcher: “Oh, Andrew”

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Phyllis Fletcher and Andrew: “It’s either a prediction or a request… (Okay) that… that, ‘Luke controls the butthole flap’ will be on MarsupialGurgle.com within 24 hours”

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Phyllis Fletcher and Andrew: “Ohhhhhh”

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Phyllis Fletcher, Andrew and Steve Scher: Reacting to what happened to Steve and Steve saying “Yeah, gross. Very gross”

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Steve Neuman: “Hey Andrew, it’s Stu. Just a reminder to… be your best self, that’s good enough for anybody; and, that, this is episode 2386 in a collector’s series”

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Steve Scher: “I’m Steve Scher”

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Steve Scher: “This, this.. this a big guy!”

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Steve Scher and Andrew: “How polite was it? It used pink ink. Pink ink? Pink ink. And, did you say please and thank you… Please and thank you. No exclamation point.”

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Steve Scher and Andrew: “I do listen, you know. No, you don’t. Yeah, every, I do. What’s your, what’s your favorite part? I don’t have one. No, I listen, I listen to myself, I listen to Luke”

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Steve Scher, Andrew and Phyllis Fletcher: “And, there’s even some snapping turtles. Really? How do you tell a snapping turtle? Flat… Cuz, it’s going like this, ‘Doo-doo-doo, doo-doo…’ Okay, I’m just gonna cut Phyllis’s mic”

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Audio Clips

Clips From TBTL #2385

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Andrew: “Alright, you see that sign over there? It says, ‘Applesauce’. Nah, it says, ‘Applause’.”

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Andrew: “Bottom line: People are awful”

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Andrew: “Did you poop!?”

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Andrew: “Dingus”

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Andrew: “Don’t hack me… bro”

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Andrew: “God, you guys are butt-in-skis”

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Andrew: “Hey now!”

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Andrew: “I can associate with this story so much!”

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Andrew: “I sit in the cemetery… Nobody bothers you in the cemetery”

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Andrew: “In Second Life, nobody can hear you pee”

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Andrew: “It’s good shit”

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Andrew: “Just Tonawanda eat my sandwich”

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Andrew: Laughing

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Andrew: Laughing #2

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Andrew: Laughing #3

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Andrew: “Mo’ Second Life Money, Mo’ Second Life Problems”

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Andrew: “My voice gets really high like this, for some reason”

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Andrew: “Nope… I’m good.”

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Andrew: “Oh my God. You’re seriously doing this Hannity/Colmes thing right now?”

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Andrew: “Okay, crazy asshole”

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Andrew: “She didn’t even say, ‘Butt'”

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Andrew: “Stop the show!”

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Andrew: “TBT-Ello from the other side”

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Andrew: “They’re onto us!!!”

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Andrew: “What’s the problem!?!”

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Andrew: “When someone said I was pwned on Twitter, and I was like, ‘What does that mean?'”

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Andrew: “Yes, please!!!”

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Andrew and Nick Jarin: “Are you doing this just to get, just to get my blood up!? (No!) Are you doing this for podcast reasons? No, I’m not.”

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Andrew and Nick Jarin: “Oh, what’cha eating? Oh, looks like a good sandwich. Hey, let’s talk about those chips. Bugles? Haven’t seen Bugles in forever. Fuck off! I’m trying eat my lunch! I like to put them on my fingers!”

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Andrew and Nick Jarin: “Stop banging the table. I’m sorry.”

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Andrew and Nick Jarin: “Uh, okay, so here’s my bad experiment I wanna try on this show… right now, with you. Does it also involve Kayne? Um, no. It involves whoopie.”

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Nick Jarin: “Actually, guns do kill people”

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Nick Jarin: Chuckling

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Nick Jarin: Laughing

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Nick Jarin: Laughing #2

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Nick Jarin: Laughing #3

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Nick Jarin: “Tauntaun-owanda”

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Nick Jarin: “That’s what I do!”

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Nick Jarin and Andrew: “But, I recently left the, the, the mainstream media, the MSM as the Twit-bots call it. I call it the ‘Lamestream Media'”

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Nick Jarin and Andrew: Making Whoopie

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Steve Neuman: “Hey, Andrew. It’s Stu. This is episode 2385… in a collector’s series”

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Audio Clips

Clips From TBTL #2384

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Luke and Andrew have been thanking and reading and/or playing special messages for Dazzling Donors from last year’s TBTL-a-thon for a couple of weeks; and, TBTL #2384, in a collector’s series, it was my turn to be thanked. The last two times, Luke and Andrew ad-libbed my Dazzling Donor messages and I opted for the same this time around. It was even better with Steve Neuman on the show and jumping into the fun as well.

Luke, Andrew and Steve Neuman: TBTL Dazzling Donor Message

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Andrew: “Because, basically, we will be canned heat… inside that thing”

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Andrew: “Is the man of the house home?”

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Andrew: “Like to squeeze the soul out of the show”

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Andrew: “Luke, are you getting a little, getting a little whiff of the RV on that one?”

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Andrew: Making a laser sharp shooting sound

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Andrew: Making a sharp shooting sound

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Andrew: Making a sharp shooting sound #2

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Andrew: “No!!”

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Andrew: “No!!! Shut it down, America!”

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Andrew: “That’s gonna come back to, to haunt me”

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Andrew: “Umm, I don’t know why… I cared”

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Andrew and Luke: “You know what? I’ll let Linh tell me what it sounds like. I’m not taking it from you today. Fair enough.”

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Andrew and Luke: “You were drankgry? I was… maybe mostly drangry”

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Andrew and Steve Neuman: “Have you ever done this sober? No. No! No!! God, no! That’s just wrong.”

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Carey Burbank and Luke: “Burbank residence. Is that how we answer the phone now?”

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Carey Burbank and Luke: Carey usually laughs when she’s on a carnival ride and will laugh at Luke if he’s on it as well

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Carey Burbank, Andrew and Luke: “What a way to go, right!? No!! You’re having fun, right? (No) No, you’re not having fun when your body is, is breaking into a million pieces on top of the ticket hut.”

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Luke: “A five dollar Friday edition… of the program that might just be Too Beautiful To Live!”

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Luke: “He’s the Pham, he’s the Pham-nary in the coal mine”

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Luke: “Hey, Linh! There’s a new thing you like less than Super Pham!”

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Luke: “I don’t like to use this word; I was even hangry”

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Luke: “If this breaks loose, we are dead. D-E-D”

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Luke: “Linh… Pham, our Super Pham! I think it hates it when I say that; but… that’s not gonna stop me. Hasn’t stopped me yet.”

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Luke: “Maria Bamford is one of, one of y’all. Is ‘Y’all’ the wrong term?”

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Luke: “MSNBC and Chill”

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Luke: “Save it. Save it for the show. Share it with the Tens of listeners.”

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Luke: “So, Andrew, ad-lib something funny about Linh Pham and his Marsupial Gurgle site”

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Luke: “The crazy part is: What. I’m. Saying. Right. Now. Will. Be. A drop on Marsupial Gurgle.”

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Luke: “Wait a second!”

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Luke: “Wait, wait, wait, wait. Hold on a second”

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Luke: “We’d like to… welcome new sponsor, Surly Brewing Company”

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Luke: “Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa… whoa. Whoa. Whoa.”

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Luke: “Will you do me a kindness?”

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Luke: “‘Woo’ Tang, baby. She rocks the world”

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Luke: “You never go full y’all”

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Luke: “You’ve all heard about it. You all know about it. All the kids are talking about it.”

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Luke, Andrew and Steve Neuman: “Can you imagine a festival for roadies, put together (by roadies) by carnies”

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Luke, Carey Burbank and Steve Neuman: “But now that people are… falling out of the ferris wheel in Port Townsend, I think you see my point, right? No, I don’t. I don’t see it at all, actually. That was not the answer that Luke wanted. Oh, by the way, hi Carey, it’s Stu from Internet. Oh, hi, Stu-bot.”

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Luke, Steve Neuman and Andrew: Doo-oh vs Dye-oh

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Steve Neuman: “Yeah, there’s not a lot of metaphor in Toby Keith songs”

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Steve Neuman: “Your honky-tonk ba-donk-a-donk”

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Steve Neuman, Andrew and Luke: “I think you muted me. I’m sorry, what were you saying? Get the hint, Stu.”

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Steve Neuman, Luke and Andrew: Andrew threw shade on Black Sabbath by saying it wasn’t Rock ‘n’ Roll

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Audio Clips

Clips From TBTL #2382

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Andrew: “Amy is just… whiz-bang!”

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Andrew: “Corny time here”

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Andrew: “Don’t get my little jape stuck in your head”

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Andrew: Groaning

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Andrew: “Hi Luke!”

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Andrew: “I don’t know if we have a lot of room in our schedule to, to bro down with our bro…homies here”

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Andrew: “I hope you find yourself on a Delta 757 dash something, something, something”

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Andrew: “I was like, I was clinging to those cards like it was a skating rink and they were the wall”

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Andrew: “It was… so embarrassing; you should have heard me… Amy will never, ever put me on the air after hearing that.”

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Andrew: Laughing

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Andrew: Laughing and saying “Yeah, right”

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Andrew: “My voice was trembling! My voice was trembling!!”

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Andrew: “No! Holy crap! It’s all coming back to me, guys!”

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Andrew: “Oh-ho, I’m sorry!”

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Andrew: Saying “Can’t get there from here… Going back to the screws!” in a manner of the Pepperidge Farm guys

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Andrew: Singing “So you like Crocs on your feet”

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Andrew: “So, I, I don’t… you know, want her to hear this and think that she, she did something… that’s gonna scar me forever”

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Andrew: “Sounds like baseball used to be fun”

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Andrew: “Stupid! Stupid!”

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Andrew: “Technically, by the way, that whole thing would be called a, ‘Plastic, oh no!'”

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Andrew: “They are things that I have never, ever, urh-ver, nurh-ver [ph] searched before”

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Andrew: “Watch out Vinegar Doggies! We got a new sponsor in the pipeline”

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Andrew and Luke: “And, I don’t like that you call your microphone a French tickler. Okay. You know what, I’m cutting, I’m cutting it off. I’m cutting this line of spoofing off, right now. I’m sorry. Alright, that’s fair.”

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Andrew and Luke: “Geez, Louise! (Oof!)”

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Andrew and Luke: “The Burbank… (Yes) of Luke Burbank fame”

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Andrew, Luke and Steve Neuman: Luke cut Andrew off mid-joke to tell another joke just for Steve

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Luke: “And I… am… loving it, Jerry!!!”

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Luke: “Being cute doesn’t mean you can get up on my stage… guys”

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Luke: “He is the Stu-bot!!!”

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Luke: “He used the wrong apron”

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Luke: “Hey, yo! What the hell!!?”

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Luke: “I don’t read good”

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Luke: “If ya nasty”

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Luke: “We’d like to thank new sponsor, Trivago”

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Luke: “We’d like to welcome new sponsor Minnesota Public Radio to the show”

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Luke: “You’re doing this all wrong, Burbank”

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Luke and Andrew: “Did you fix Amy’s phone (No, no, no) in Chicago? Emphasis on attempt.”

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Luke and Steve Neuman: “Do you mess with that Zumba? I don’t mess with that Zumba”

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Steve Neuman: “I got a leg day, I got a pull day, I got a push day, and I got a core day, Luke.”

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Steve Neuman: “I’m sore as hell!”

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Steve Neuman: “It’s this lifestyle podcast about air travel and crippling self-doubt. You’ll love it.”

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Steve Neuman: “Piper hates Bobby Pape too, so it’s kind of… it’s difficult”

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Steve Neuman: Saying “See, if you get to the garage, you’ve gone too far” with a Minnesotan accent

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Steve Neuman: “The Suite Life of Andrew?”

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Steve Neuman and Andrew: “But, we are gonna talk about it. But, goddamn it, we’re gonna talk about this.”

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Audio Clips

Clips From TBTL #2372

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Steve “Stu-bot” Neuman left a chopped and screwed message for the TBTL Voicemail Line.

Steve Neuman: Voicemail Message

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Andrew: “Back off, Tim!”

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Andrew: “Boo-urns”

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Andrew: “Boooooog!”

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Andrew: “Burro Rey [sic]“

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Andrew: Chopped and Screwed “Gimme brisket”

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Andrew: “I dunno how to talk photo talk”

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Andrew: Laughing

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Andrew: Laughing #2

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Andrew: “Oh my God, thirty of those things!”

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Andrew: “Oh, farts are funny!”

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Andrew: Singing “One mink, one skunk one possum”

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Andrew: “Stropped [sic] and screwed”

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Andrew: “This is a penguin in the wild”

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Andrew: “This is probably the, ‘Andrew doesn’t have kids… thing, maybe, again”

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Andrew: “Were capturing a shot of a bear… fighting another bear over a fish”

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Andrew: “When I go on stage, they just say… ‘Boo'”

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Andrew: “When I’m waking up in the middle of the night and the whole house is really quiet, I don’t wanna be broadcasting what I’m doing in there; so, I turn the jet engine up to eleven.”

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Andrew: “You can put the Light Phone on your light-up toilet, and everything’s… Everything’s gonna come up Lukles”

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Andrew and Luke: Andrew being “No, but” while talking about toilets

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Andrew and Luke: Andrew had a little Death Rattle happen

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Andrew and Luke: “I was part of some program where… they, they were helping… (A government program?) It was a, it was a program for bad photographers, to try to encourage them”

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Andrew and Luke: “It took me a long time to figure out what the hell was going on there. I’m gonna have the, I’m gonna have the pizza at Stubbs. Gimme pizza. Right.”

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Andrew and Luke: “Just Kazaa that shit. Limewire”

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Luke: “Butt washer”

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Luke: “Chris ‘Bidets’ Hayes”

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Luke: “Cover your bald spot?”

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Luke: Doing the Duck Hunt Dog laugh

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Luke: “Doo-hickey”

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Luke: “Holy shit!!”

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Luke: “I’ve paralyzed one of my legs…by being on the john too long. AMA”

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Luke: Laughing

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Luke: Laughing #2

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Luke: “Luuuuuuke!”

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Luke: “Oh my goodness… I’m gonna have to write this and we’re gonna have to do it live”

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Luke: “Overnight… BMs? Sweet. Okay. Thanks!”

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Luke: Saying “Machete” in a funny manner

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Luke: Trying to say “You ever see one of those” as Norm Macdonald

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Luke: “You’re gonna hear this and you’re gonna be like, ‘This is most, this is some pretty Luke music'”

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Luke and Andrew: “Did you ever have a friend with Duck Hunt who would like or some kid you’d be playing with, who would put the gun right up against the screen? Yeah, of course, we all knew assholes.”

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Luke and Andrew: “I don’t know if I’d pick up a cougar and tell it, ‘You did such a good job!’ (No, I don’t think I would)”

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Luke and Andrew: “I’ll, I’ll see your Death Rattle and raise you a gross phlegm story (Mmm)”

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Luke and Andrew: “New York City? New York City!?”

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Luke and Andrew: “Oh my God, I love your exhaust fan, it’s a beautiful exhaust fan. (It is a) I love your exhaust fan. It’s a jet engine.”

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Luke and Andrew: “Oh… absitively, (Really) posolutely!”

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Luke and Andrew: “We would love to see y’all there. Oh man, it’s already starting. I just said ‘Y’all’ like it’s a thing for me. (I know, I know!) It’s not, it’s not!”

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Audio Clips

Clips From TBTL #2360: No Point Conversion Edition

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Due to the number of clips pulled from TBTL #2360, clips from the regular portion of the show are in a separate post.

 

Andrew: “And, I’m just scared of baseball; so, I hide under the seats.”

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Andrew: “Aw, shit!!”

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Andrew: “Come on, kid! Stop being a big baby!”

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Andrew: “He’s acting like a big damn baby!”

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Andrew: “I was, like, really in a pit of despair last week”

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Andrew: “Of course, we’re gonna gamble away the RV. Goddamn it. How did I not realize that?”

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Andrew: “Oh, finally, that broke our way. Finally, that broke our way.”

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Andrew: Snorting

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Andrew: “What!!?”

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Andrew and Steve Neuman: “That’s weird. I thought that’s the reason you’re not with public radio anymore; is, because, you insisted on drinking beer at nine in the morning. Classic Andrew… defaming me on the podcast…”

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Luke: “He’s the little fucking child who won’t jump up and down!?”

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Luke: “I can’t believe his dog is named, ‘Butters'”

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Luke: “Oh… The Blair Walsh Project?”

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Luke: “WWSD: What would Stu do?”

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Luke and Andrew: “‘Well, depend on how much I’ve had to drink.’ Oh, that’s right! Yeah, yeah… They asked, ‘Will you tackle the kids back?’ And, he said, ‘Well, I guess it depends on how much I’ve had to drink.'”

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Steve Neuman: Chuckling

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Steve Neuman: “From ‘Chosen One’ to ‘Chosen Done'”

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Steve Neuman: “Hey dummies! How are you guys doing?”

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Steve Neuman: “It got really bad. It was, it was bad, guys. It was, it was bad.”

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Steve Neuman: “Oof”

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Steve Neuman: “When in doubt… swag out”

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